Family Life & Relationships <
05/01/2016 at 21:49
wasn't sure where to put this but here goes i've been wanting baby number 5 but husband is basically saying no way i know we would be fine financially etc so i'm finding myself resenting him a little though i can't force him into it.
With our youngest we found out quite early on that we were having twins unfortnatley baby2 died not long after then a year after having ds i miscarried at approx 9 weeks.
Husband says he feels our family is complete yet i don't but does this feeling go away? i'm confused is it me wanting the babies i've lost or really wanting another baby? I know i can't say anuthing to change his mind so i guess i need to change mine just dn't know how
22/01/2016 at 05:05
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22/01/2016 at 06:19
Oooo, very tough. It's best to have his support but also will you always wish you had pushed for that extra child?
It's hard to give advice as there are a lot of factors obviously going into bringing another child into the world. Have you thought about every last detail? Drawn up a plan? I know sometimes men respond well to something that is planned out. If it's something you really way, I would suggest drawing up a plan on how it would affect you guys financially, with your time & energy, etc. & show him, give him some time with it to think. He will be less likely probably to want to rush into it.
Most men can be persuaded, gently persuaded!
But also prepare yourself for the NO you could hear. Visualize the process of being told no, having to accept it, & then imagine the rest of your life as if you just have the 4 children. Get used to that reality so that when he tells you no it is not so hard to bear. You could react calmly & this gives you a better chance later to ask again if it's still on your mind. He won't be associating the question with your upsettedness or anything, which will be better.
22/01/2016 at 06:20
Also, is his only issue the finances? You might do some thinking & prying to see what else, if anything, is in play in his mind, so you can tailor your plan to include those concerns, or at least offer to talk about it. If he is reasonable, he will agree to at least talk with you about it. Good luck!
Also, as a side note- congrats on getting FOUR out of a man, very lucky! I want a big family with my husband but I know he will complain about more than 1. :/
22/01/2016 at 11:11
Maybe the losses have a big influence on his decision too?
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