Family Life & Relationships <
06/04/2016 at 08:50
My partner and I have always been madly in love and still are but we found out that I'm pregnant and now he's left me. It couldn't have happened at a worse time. We've not been getting on for the last few months, silly arguments ALL the time. He was going to suggest we had bit of time apart to help the arguments as we've been in each other's pockets literally 24/7 since December. And I literally mean together every waking minute of the day. We went from seeing each other whenever we could to living in a bedroom in a shared house. And we both work from home so we don't even get that time apart.. We've been looking for a place of our own since February but seeing as we weren't getting on all of a sudden we've been apprehensive about moving in together. The problem is the morning he was going to suggest we had some time apart was the morning we found out I was pregnant! My partner has always talked about us having children together, more than I ever have. He's been overly keen on starting a family but now I realise it was all just a fantasy of his. I'm 31 and he's 46. We found out 3 days ago now and I've been on my own for 2 of those! The first day was a quiet day of cuddling and disbelief. He said he was ''thrilled but terrified'' because of all the arguing. We tried to talk it through the next morning as it had obviously freaked him out even more waking up to the knowledge of being a possible father. He knows I had an abortion when I was 19 (reluctantly) but I wasn't in love then and I was very young and I've always vowed I wouldn't do that again.. I've also been off the pill for nearly 2 years and he has been fully aware of that since the day I stopped, we haven't been using an protection and he hasn't been pulling out. We thought we'd leave it up to the universe to decide.. And now we've miraculously made a baby he doesn't want it, or me! I'm devastated. This isn't how I imagined my pregnancy and life to turn out.. We tried to talk it through calmly and sensibly and he made it pretty clear that he didn't want to commit to us raising a baby together, all the usual things, ''I'm too old, I don't earn enough, I'll have to sell my motorbike, where will we live, you'll be on your own with the baby whenever I'm working away etc etc..'' Then we ended up going back to talking about our arguments and he brought up an old riduculous argument that we can't seem to agree to disagree on which caused another disagreement which ended up with him packing his bags and leaving! I can't believe he's abandoned me in my absolute time of need!? It's only been 2 days since he left but he's already told me in a text (the only bit of communication I've had from him) that he'll respect my decision if I decide to raise the child absent of a father (I don't know why we can't be together all of a sudden!) He doesn't seem to want to work through our issues but still maintains his love for me? I'm so confused and upset and feel so alone. I haven't replied to his message because I've no idea what to say. His message was so final. I haven't even told my mum or family yet as I don't want them to think badly of him in case he comes back to me. I realise he's in shock. He's never made anyone pregnant before either so this is a massive surprise to him as much as it is to me.. I just wish he would see sense and come back to us. I'm terrified of doing this alone but I couldn't live with the guilt of terminating our baby, our baby made out of love.. How could we even carry on being together after I'd done that because it's what he thinks is the ''wisest, most practical'' choice?! I'm so lost. How can I do this alone?
06/04/2016 at 12:31
Unfortunately you have to do what's right for you now. Not dependant on what ifhe does this or what if he does that. Make your own decision and go with the flow. Take some time to think aswell don't rush.
Get out there spend time with close friends and do fun (but safe) things,
whatever he decides is irrelevant you have to live with your decision for the rest of your life either way when he will always be able to just walk away if /when he chooses. You not so much
02/06/2016 at 20:26
I know how you feel .... It's devastating but you will find strength and have an amazing bond with your baby xx
he might come to his senses but would you forgive him if he did??
Be strong but that's tough now I know but do you have family or good friends?? They will be so important xx
much love and be positive xx
06/06/2016 at 12:07
I found out I was pregnant for the first time when I was 22 had been with my partner for well 2 years the day baby was due he left me for someone else I was also living in a shared house and we had been arguing but he left and o
moved in to my parents who I hadn't spoken to for 1 year at 8 months after him having his fun I started to talk to him to see if he was going to be there and he was. But my parents kicked me out and left me heavily pregnant with no one in my eyes around me. That's when he left his girlfriend and we started again well long story short I'm now expecting his 3rd baby and things are hard but we are still in love and happy sometimes lol I wouldn't be here with my beautiful kids if he had stayed with her but I forgave him eventually for putting me and pur aby though it good luck dont make a decision u regret in the future especially if its only what he wants
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