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09/06/2017 at 13:30
Hello.How many times do you reckon you say ‘No!’ to your child every day? If you’re anything like us, it’s probably a lot. But it’s no fun, is it? Wouldn’t it be great if we all knew some more positive ways to get our parenting messages across?To help all of us escape from the land of ‘No!’, LEGO® Juniors would like to hear your tips for turning negative or critical parenting words or actions into more positive ones.And you could win a LEGO® toy bundle, worth £100, for telling them!All you need to do is post on this thread and tell us how you’d get your child to do what you want them to do (or stop doing what you don’t want them to do!) without being negative or critical.So, for example, if your child is being really shouty, maybe you’d say ‘Use your quiet voice please!’ instead of ‘Stop shouting!’ For more examples, you can have a look at our article on 9 ways to say no to your child - without actually saying no.Everyone who posts about their tips for turning negative or critical parenting words or actions into more positive ones will be entered into a prize draw to win the £100 LEGO® toy bundle, including Mia’s Farm Suitcase, Andrea & Stephanie’s Beach Holiday, Demolition Site, Police Truck Chase and Fire Patrol Suitcase.We'll keep this thread open until Friday 7th July, and we'll announce the winner's name on Tuesday 11th July.
This discussion is sponsored by LEGO® Juniors. Terms & conditions apply. Please note that comments and pictures you post here may be used by LEGO® in future marketing material.
09/06/2017 at 20:45
I just use the old tried and tested methods really, ignoring bad behaviour where possible and giving lots of praise for good, and also distraction when I'm trying to get my 2 year old to stop doing something... fortunately she loves animals and still falls for things like 'Ooooh, is that a cat/dog/bird over there'
09/06/2017 at 20:59
My two (💙4yrs and 💝1yrs) are always fighting over the same toys. So instead of separating them I ask my oldest to 'teach' his sister how to play games with the toys. We roll play in our toy kitchen or park their cars in the garage. They play nicely together after a little directing xxx
09/06/2017 at 21:13
I struggle to get my little one out of the bath. I always distract her with if we get out quickly and get our pyjamas on we can play hide and seek. She loves to do this and then surprise Daddy by being all ready!
10/06/2017 at 23:33
I try, wherever possible, to use distraction when the children are displaying behaviour I would rather they weren't doing. If its possible I try to model the behaviour I expect for example if I want them to stop shouting I ask them quietly its not go shouting at them to stop shouting.
If I've asked them to do something and they aren't keen I make it into a game, who can pick up the most, lets race to see who is the quickest, etc I've also been known to make up a song about a wide variety of things from playing nicely to tidying up toys.(I should probably apologise to my neighbours! ;) )
Talking to the children and explaining why I'm asking them can help sometimes.
11/06/2017 at 10:18
I just encourage my kids when they do something good and try to show anger when they do mistake then suddenly they realise they did something wrong they apologise and give me kiss. Showing anger and stopped talking will definitely work trust me
11/06/2017 at 21:29
I use a song that my daughter likes - as soon as I put Barbie Girl on she knows it is time to tidy up/stop watching tv/stop arguing with her brother etc! She has a little dance and then knows it is time to do what I am asking her to do.
12/06/2017 at 11:22
Join in and show them how to behave. It's important to be a good role model. Indoor voices, kind hands, thoughtful play (not knocking down someone else's Lego or snatching!)
If you shout, they will shout. If you snatch, they will snatch.
It's really hard to do, but you'll be pleased with the results!
12/06/2017 at 12:26
be a good role model and a good routine
12/06/2017 at 14:36
My youngest hates tidying her toys up so for years and with my other 3 children we have always used the "lets see how quick you can do it" or "see if you can do it in under 60 seconds." This has always been good for us and 99 times out of 100 she will get involved and tidy up or take things upstairs.
There is also the one where if there is loads of mess like jigsaws, lego ect. you can say to them, whoever picks up the most, wins a little treat, or an extra 30 mins before bed.
Another trick we always use when she does not want to eat her food, whether it be carrots, chips, sprouts, or just spoonfuls of potato or other food, when she says NO! we always say well how old are you.... Ok then eat that many spoonfuls and you can leave the table. She will eat that many then I always add on an extra one for luck.
There is also the feeling the arm muscles to see how strong they are the more they eat, this is a really good one to get them to eat and has also worked a dream for all 4 of my kids.
12/06/2017 at 15:50
If our daughter is talking too loudly we tell her to use her home voice and not her Playground voice.
There is a 6 year age gaP between our 2 and often our son wants to do things that his siter is doing so we have to say that he will be able to do that when he is a bigger boy.
12/06/2017 at 16:43
For me the mornings can be a mare getting my son to get dressed for school. I have a 6 month old too. My son is nearly 5 sometimes he can be so slow at getting dressed it makes us late but if I say I bet you can't get dressed before me and we gave then he gets dressed super fast. I hope this top helps :)
12/06/2017 at 19:46
My daughter is currently going through a phase of saying no alot, sometimes even when I know she really wants to do something. I try and ignore the behaviour when possible or distract her into something else. If that doesn't work I try and talk one and one with her about her behaviour. Quite often there is another reason why she is being difficult.
12/06/2017 at 19:49
We've all been there. You tell your toddler it's time to turn off the TV, and he screams, "No!" Then you probably dig in your heels and find yourself in a shouting match.
But as you've already discovered, power struggles don't promote cooperation. They only make each of you angrier and teach your child to resist you even more.
The key is to control yourself. Maintaining your composure instead of showing your frustration lets your out-of-control child "borrow" some of your calmness. How can you do this? Label his intense feelings without judging them: "I can see you're really mad now." Then state the unacceptable behavior and give him a better alternative: "Kicking your truck isn't right. You can tell me you're angry without hurting things." If your older child likes to argue, look for something you can agree with: "That's true—it's more fun to play computer games than it is to do homework."
Remember, it takes two to keep a power struggle going. When my kids were younger, I often found that if I dropped my end of the rope in our tug-of-war (even though it pained me to do so!), they'd eventually stop resisting me, give up the battle, and concentrate instead on their behavior and how they could change it.
12/06/2017 at 23:43
With my daughter, I've found that telling her what is going to happen and when can help encourage better behavior. When she's doing something she enjoys, she is given either a time limit (ideally on a timer she gets to start) or a number of times she can continue (like 3 more times on the slide). It seems to reduce tantrums when it's time to finish. When she has a tantrum, I do my best to be calm and consistent. The last thing I want is for her to think the tantrum is a way to get what she wants.
I also work with one and two year old children, so I've been getting a lot of practice with positive discipline. I use phrases like gentle hands, walk inside, and sit on your bottom to help model appropriate behavior. I talk about how the other child might feel during conflicts and guide toward a resolution that is appropriate for their age. It's not always easy, but it's important for them to learn social skills in a positive way.
13/06/2017 at 07:24
I try to ignore the bad behaviour and distract from what is going on. I try to find something really interesting that makes my son forget what has been going on. Plenty of praise when I see the behaviour I want works well, too.
13/06/2017 at 07:51
I have a board I the kitchen with stickers in the shape of stars which I use to praise my child for good behaviour. When I want them to do something I will set a reward at one or two stickers and this gives them a sense of achievement for completing the task.
13/06/2017 at 08:49
To encourage my LO to do something she doesnt want to do I speak in a cheerful and chirpy tone while making it sound exciting and if that doesnt work unfortunatly I resort to bribary.
13/06/2017 at 09:01
My eldest two (6 and 3) never want to get dressed in the mornings. So we turn it into a game. We make it a little competition who can get ready first - kids vs parents. They spring into action and help each other to get their clothes on whilst we pretend to be slow. They love being the winners. plus it's nice as they work as a team.. Rather than arguing!
13/06/2017 at 09:19
When I am getting a refusal to do what I have asked I usually do things as a race between me and them (usually deliberately losing obviously!). Even with homwork I join in and do it alongside them to keep them focused
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