Toddlers & Older Children <
02/12/2010 at 10:51
I live overseas in an expat compound. Our neighbours have a 3 year old boy who is bullying my 2 year old son. He constantly hits out at him and won't allow my son to play with him, his toys or with other children. The child doesn't do this to any other child other than my son. His parents reprimand him for this but they punish him by putting him in a cupboard for being bad. I think this cause this child to then think that it is my son's fault that he is in the cupboard which then leads to more bullying.
I don't know what to do for best. I have tried to stop them playing with each other but they both go to the same playgroups and as we are neighbours, it is hard to keep them away from each other. I don't really want to make a fuss by going to this child's parents either but I don't know what else to do. I have told my son that he shouldn't hit other children and he always walks away when he has been hit but it is upsetting him. Today he came in saying he has a sore head from this child hitting him. He came in last week with bruises on his arm from where this child was holding his arm to stop my son going near any toys.
I have told my son to hit this child back but he won't as he is such an easy going wee boy that he would prefer to walk away. Help! What do I do?
02/12/2010 at 23:20
anyway u can stop your child from playing with him for the meantime. bring your child to some other places??
it is so diffcult to teach a good child to stand up for themselves.
first time, i will ask my children to walk away. but next time, i will tell the kid off. sorry, i dun think i do much help here.
03/12/2010 at 10:33
2 and 3 yr olds aren't exactly great at sharing, especially if it is their toys and they are still learning how to share. Maybe you could arrange with your neighbour to take them both to a neutral place for them to play, it may help.
If its been going on a while I think you need to step in for the sake of your little boy. If you have tried to tell him how to deal with it and its not worked you need to go speak to the other boys mother, if you see it happen you have to speak to the other boy.
I hate having to speak to the other children and their parents when they pick on my daughters but it has to be done, my daughters know I will protect them from getting hurt by other children but treat them exactly the same if they are the ones picking on other children. If you ask his mother to only give attention to the child that has been hit and praise them when they are sharing and playing nicely it may help. Otherwise you just have to keep them apart for a while.
03/12/2010 at 22:03
My two and three year olds fight constantly.Hitting does happen,they're not good at sharing,they're not good at reasoning,or expressing themself.You have to step in teach them that's not the way to behave,and they will stop doing it.I wouldn't ever think of locking them in a cupboard as punishment,that can't be helping a little boy learn to play nicely .If you stop the two of them playing together,the issiues won't be resolved,and next time they have to play together,be that nursery or wherever it will still be there.I would talk to the mother.Maybe arrange a playdate where you are both on hand to intervene if the other little boy does start hitting,if you can see it about to happen you can intervene before it does so that he can see he doesn't have to have everything for himself,there's enough toys to go round,and it's a lot more fun to share.Avoid toys you know will trigger trouble,or maybe try games where two need to play,you can't play catch on your own,that sort of thing.If the other Mum says nothing when he does it then maybe you have to.
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