Toddlers & Older Children <
28/07/2008 at 14:33
O.k so some of you may know that I have been having troubles with my stepson and his mother recently. My partner had a text this morning saying that she is thinking of cutting our time with his son because of the way he behaves when he comes back from ours as if it's our fault! Grrr!
I am probably the most paranoid person when it comes to how well I raise my children and constantly worry about it and I do really struggle with my ss. He is rude, aggressive and his table manners are atrochious! His mother is accusing us of not sticking to the disipline rules that they had set together which involves the naughty step. Might I add that we have weened him off a dummy whilst he is here and she still gives him one and that I have completed a few parenting courses and am due to start another one in September! Ooohhh it is frustrating lol!
Anyway I just want to check what other mums do to discipline their youngsters. I think the the step is starting to wear thin with this particular two and a half year old or should we persist? He just sits on it and howls for his daddy so two minutes (which is the recommended time) isn't enough because he is still hysterical and not willing to co-operate. What do I do?!
28/07/2008 at 18:49
29/07/2008 at 14:52
Well you will never get us all in the same room together as her fiance is by partners step brother hence why they are seperated. I'm tempted to give Jeremy Kyle a ring!
Me and my partner have talked about it in some depth and have decided to use whatever method she uses at home just to make our lives easier. I don't think that she takes into account that whatever we do for one has to be done the same for the other so my poor four year old has to have all his discipline changed. Thankfully he is a very grown up little boy.
We will sit down tonight with a list of questions for her, write them all down and give them to her tomorrow and hopefully we can get something set up properly. We are going to have to know what she puts him on the naughty step for, how many warnings he gets etc etc. It's a headache at the moment but it will be worth it in the long run!
I'm a bit put out to that my tiny unborn baby will probably have to have the same discipline methods just to keep the piece so I kind of don't have a say in what I do with my two because she is so strong willed about what she wants for hers. But like I said, can't do one and not the others!
30/07/2008 at 07:24
It sounds to me like she is being difficult for the sake of being difficult! Lots of children have 2 sets of rules at different houses, it's amazing how even young kids can distinguish between different sets of people and how they should behave at their different houses!
If the naughty step isn;t right for you, why not get him a small circular rug or a special chair? Not a treat, but something that he can associate with a punishment.
I think communication, or lack of it on her part, is the main problem here! It's like she expects you to be telepathic! Is there no chance of you and her comminicating? Even via email so that you can discuss what you are both doing??
31/07/2008 at 09:19
I offered for her to contact me directly with anything to do with the lo but she obvioulsy isn't keen. Perhaps she knows that I will try to reason with her where my oh will just agree with her.
On the plus side, and it shouldn't make me feel so good but it does, she went with my partner to the health visitor to discuss their sons behaviour and apperently got shot down about everything she said. The hv was getting her to do role plays about how she should react to him when he is naughty and said that it sounded like we had a better grasp on the situation, lol. Doesn't it make you giggle...
My partner also asked if there were any surestart centres around so his ex could do some parenting courses and named a couple that I had taken. I bet that went down like a ton of bricks...oh well, what goes around comes around I suppose. She should have asked me first.
Thank you ladies for all of your support and advice. It's nice to be able to air all of this without moaning to my man about it!
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