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Help: New Baby and Jealous Toddler

Chat < Toddlers & Older Children < Toddler

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  • Saz31
    Saz31

    01/09/2007 at 10:59

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    Hi
    Need some advice, I have a two year old son and a new baby. Oldest son is very jealous of younger son. Previously a well behaved dream child now a monster and trying everyone's patience at a very stressful time as new baby has bad colic and screams between 7 and midnight every night. He has started to try and pull the baby off my lap when feeding or sit on him when I am changing his brothers nappy, he has also started hitting me. Have been using the naughty step to no avail. He also previously loved his vegetables and food in general and meal times are becoming a battle ground. Professionals tell me its about control?!? Any advice, tips experiences very welcome.
    :\?
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  • mumto225
    mumto225

    01/09/2007 at 17:51

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    sounds really hard, you poor thing, don't really have any advice but it sounds like he's probably just as stressed as you if the baby screams all night. hopefully it'll get better when the colic disappears and you'll all get a better nights sleep. my older one is 4 so it's easier to explain about baby but at 2 he probably doesn't understand that he has to be gentle etc.. hope things get better soon x.
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  • StrawberryGirl
    StrawberryGirl

    02/09/2007 at 08:54

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    Does sound like a control issue, bless him. It might be worth concentrating on this and giving him small tasks or chores or 'things' that he is responsible for but by involving the baby too - so when the baby is being dressed he chooses the outfit for his little brother. If you are bathing the baby let him choose some toy's for the baby to 'play' with, that sort of thing.
    I think it's also important to stick to any kind of routine that you previously had with your eldest coz I am sure when the new one arrived it threw everything into chaos a bit and probably unsettled him.

    I found this on the net : http://www.juniormagazine.co.uk/page/juniormagazine?entry=jealous_toddlers_by_rachel_ragg

    Hope things improve for you soon!
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  • hayley_l
    hayley_l

    02/09/2007 at 10:52

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    hi saz, poor you, my lo is 19 weeks and i also have 3 other children the 2 year old was sooooo jealous when isaac arrived and still shouts at me and pulls lo about sometimes, it does get better, try making him responsible for things like getting nappies, be really over the top about it i used to say "would you be a really big help and get mummy a nappy please" then when she did it i would tell her what a help she had been. Also try to make a bit of time just for your older child, i always try to make sure that my 2 year old has a lovely bath and bedtime story with just me and i talk to her then about what shes done that has been good and helpfull in the day and always tell her how much i love her. It wont change over night but it will change gradually, try to remember that his whole life has been turned upside down by the new arrival but he will soon settle.
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  • laurenfaith
    laurenfaith

    02/09/2007 at 13:28

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    im so glad i am not the only one!!! i have spent the afternoon in tears that my darling daughter is turning into a monster!!! the thin with her is she is fine with the baby and loves him to bits but anything else she has become sooo naughty!! shouting and screaming at me, refusing to do anything i tell her she keeps trying to kick me ect. help!!!
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  • Saz31
    Saz31

    02/09/2007 at 16:31

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    Thanks very much for all the advice, I will def have a look at the web article and try out your tips will def try the outfit choosing in the morning. Nice to know it is not just my angel that has turned in to a monster. Tonight I did have to laugh much to hubbys disgust as he tried to force his brothers dummy in his mouth as it had dropped out. As he was doing it he said "come on Thomas dummy in" I thought at least he is aware the dummy is his brothers and that it stops him crying. Could just about tell him to be careful with Thomas as the tears were streaming down my face with laughter. Think the bizarre reactions I am having to situations is down to hormones, screaming baby and sleep deprivation! Hope I am not the only one.
    Thanks again
    Saz
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