Toddlers & Older Children <
31/03/2010 at 22:24
hi, my daughter is 4 years old and i am worried about her behavior, she is very intelligent, she can write,learning to read and can draw amazing pictures with details that just amaze me, however she has the worst tantrums that can last hours i have tryed the naughty spot but no kidding it could take me all day to get her to sit out her 4 mins, i have tryed sending her to her room but again she will scream and shout for ages and completly trash everything. She has some strange behaviour habits such as bitting her nails til there sore and now her nails are all gone she has chewed off her toe nails so they are sore to, she is very active and unless she is sitting down drawing she cannot keep still, she looses interest in toys that she really wanted so quickly and she goes through times in the day were she can talk non stop without me getting a word in for up yo an hour, she also find socialising with children her age a struggle, she has been at nursery twice a week for over a year now and she will still sit/play on her own. Do i sound like im being paranoid as this may just be normal behaviour, i want to talk to someone about it but dont no who?
Has anyone got a child so behaves like this? or does anyone no who i can go to for help/ advice
Thankyou for reading
01/04/2010 at 08:38
01/04/2010 at 19:09
I thought the same as Audrey,as I have 2 children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders and my younger son,now aged five behaves very,very much like you describe above.The tantrums are not just the tantrums of a normal toddler,time out does not work.He can't be reasoned with,and can trash everything in site,and anyone in his path.We were refferred to a specialist by our health visitor,who first noticed he was very bright,and his memory was and still is fantastic.He doesn't write,because he doesn't like doing that,that's not his thing.He was very solitary up until recently.Good news is that since seeing the specialist he's had the support he needs starting nursery and then school and at 5 is making friends and doing well.We still have the tantrums,I had to carry him screaming with no shoes on from a shoe shop a few months ago because I didn't explain to him that having new shoes meant he had to have his feet measured and shoes off in public was just wrong.Had to go hide in the van till it all calmed down.
My older son was similar at that age.He was very bright,reading numbers by 2,knew all his colours and shapes early and taught himself to read before starting school.He has an almost photographic memory,and his teacher describes him as a human calculator.He goes to grammar school in September.Most of the behaviour issues have now passed,he is now little different to any other 10 year old.If anything it's like having an adult,he doesn't actually play,he never has and you have to speak to him as an adult because that's where he is,but at the same time he's over sensitive to sound,so fireworks,things like that he can't stand,he hasn't learnt to deal with that yet.What you say about the toys your daughter wanted for ages and loses interest in,we have exactly that.He really wants something,has to have it for Xmas or whatever,plays with it once,then it's like he's done that now,what's next.And he could talk the hind legs off a donkey.
If it is autism,it's not a black and white thing.It's not he end of the world but a reason for the behaviour,and help for dealing with it.Our specialist says we're all just that little bit autistic,we all have our ways,but some have strong autistic traits that put them on the Autistic Spectrum and with the right help will go on to do very well.From what you say your daughter sounds very bright and maybe the tantrums are frustration,maybe there are triggers you'll probably work out for yourself.My 5 year old falls apart when he's tired,hungry or in an unfamiliar situation,like the shoe shop thing.We have a total meltdown.As she goes to school it will be helpful to have a specialist on your side,because to outsiders they often assume the child is badly behaved and the parent is to blame.With my older son we had years of trouble at school till he finally got proper support, but with my younger son he went to school already seeing the doctor and his teachers were fully aware of his special needs,right from the start.
Very long post,sorry I do that lots,but I wanted to say that although it sounds like a form of autism,it doesn't sound like classic autism where a child is shut off from the world.You have a bright little girl who may just need a little help in some areas.
I'd start with your health visitor,or your GP.They can refer you to a specialist who can properly assess your daughter.You're not being paranoid at all.
01/04/2010 at 21:52
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