Toddlers & Older Children <
20/07/2010 at 22:09
Hi im hoping someone out there can help us or give us some advice. my little boy will be 2 next month.
from 4 months he slept thru, apart from the normal disturbed nights due to teething ect but would always go to sleeping thru again after a week or so.
He has always fallen asleep on his own, i.e we have left the room when he is still awake, and occasionally he would cry when we left the room, so we would just stand in the room until he fell asleep. we used the baby whisperer pick up/put down technic a few times when he was a lot younger if he ever had trouble settling and that worked.
the problem we are having now and this has gone on for 3 months nearly, is that he cries EVERY night when we leave the room so now it is the norm for one of us to sit queitly in his room for between 10 mins to half hour and creep out when he is asleep. he is not standing up or getting out of bed so pick up/put down no longer applies, its just crying when we leave the room.
he then wakes in the night, and from the minute he wakes it is a desperate urgent sream like the world has ended, with real tears. He sometimes climbs out of bed and bangs on his door calling mummum (he has been in his bed for about 6 months and apart from middle of the night waking he stays in bed, he doesnt even get out of bed in the morning, just calls us until we open his door as he cant pull the handle down yet) we go in and put him back to bed and then again just sit in his room until he falls asleep, but it then happens again and again! some nights its hourly and on those nights one of us ends up sleeping on his floor!
we cant go on like this. I think part of the issue is that he has forgotten how to fall asleep without us in the room, we have tried leaving his room and he rarely gets out of bed just cries in his bed so any kind of back to bed techniques wont work as he is in bed anyway.
I dont really want to resort to controlled crying.
Thanks for anyhelp xx
20/07/2010 at 22:38
If your son needs you in the room to go to sleep you need to break the dependency.You could try changing where you sit in his room,so that you're further and further away,over several nights,till you're sitting in the doorway then out the doorway,but still able to say "I' m still here" if he needs you,so eventually he doesn't need you there with him.
Controlled crying is the other option,going back to reassure him every few minutes but then leaving again.
Have done both,depending on the circumstances.
21/07/2010 at 21:18
thanks I prefer the idea of leaving his room gradually, problem is that the foot of his bed is only 3 ft away from the door anyway so i sit in the gap between bed and door- i had thought about moving his bed to make it further from the door but didnt want to chance unsettling him further.........i might try sitting with door open then as you say gradually moving onto the landing.
thanks for replying, means a lot! xx
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