Toddlers & Older Children <
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15/11/2012 at 11:33
My wife and I have the same situation with our 2y3mnth old. Three months ago she started with this behavior. It is not every night, but it happens enough for us to be concerned and for me to search for a solution. As you describe is the exact same thing that happens with our daughter. This was not the situation with our now 7 year old son, but she is much a different child to begin with. I believe that the night terrors have something to do with a seperation anxiety of some sort, as when she was a baby we had he in a seperate room from almost 6 months (but with her brother in the same room), Her borther and her share a very large room *it was originally two rooms that the common wall was removed to enlarge the room (not by me). Now that she is not in a crib with 4 wall (as she was climbing over the crib and I feared an injury), we removed the cage and now she has a bed of her own. Well, back to the issue... she wakes up 1-3 time a night, depending on the night, and it is scary! I almost feel like she is posessed... her eyes are vacant and dark, I don't know if she is awake and cohearent or if she is still asleep or awake... hard to tell! All I know is that there is nothing we can do to calm her fast...20-30 minutes of screaming, stomping, running around, and just uncontrolablility. She goes from one room to the next, yelling, calming, and then somthing sparks another outburst. My wife looses it, I try to calm now both of them...not a good situation for me or either of them. I believe that my wife started this situation months ago when she would almost run to the bedside of our daughter at the slightest whimper, I would always say, "don't go, gove it time", but night after night my wife would leave our bedroom to go and take care of our daughter. She even blames me saying I never helped at night, but I say she was not helping by always running to the room after the slightest movement or sound. Now we have a daughter that wakes us up in such a disturbing way that the nieghbors must think we are abusing our child or that we are neglecting her, but this is not the situation! during the day our daughter is mostly the most loving and cuddly little princess, but on occasion can throw a fit...but this is during the day when the noise doesn't bother us and we can deal with a 20 minute fit... but at night when all is quiet in the complex, this is the problem! If we were in a single family home with no connected neighbors to hear, I think this problem would have been solved earlier by us letting it go for 30 minutes and then back to sleep, but when you live in a building with 20-30 other families and only a hallway and a few doors to dampen the sound, I am worried they will do something that makes us look like bad parents or worse, not fit! I only can hope that my wife an I agree on a plan to deal with this, as our lack of sleep is taking a tole on us both! We have tried some natural homeopathic remedies, they don't work or help! I believe that we will have to maybe get a night light for her side of the room, maybe a new "big girl bed" and possibly disconnect the night time trips to sooth her.
I just don't know what to do, I only know that the more I read the better I feel as I am not alone. I don't hear it much from the men...but the women can certainly gove some good advice. So if you know how I can tell my wife how to stop her habits of coddling our child, please do so! Lastly, if there are any tricks to making the tantrum shorter or quieter..please send the solution my way! I don't mind the tantrum, I hate the noise it makes and possible distrubance to our neighbors.
So to end this long rant, after 2 hours sleep and work on top! I have to try somehting...this
29/11/2012 at 23:27
I completely understand what you are going through. Everything you say I relate to. My 19mth old (twin) daughter is behaving exactly the same way. Nothing I do will settle her, and she runs and throws herself around so dramactically that she actually gave herself a bloody nose last night! I'm so afraid that she is going to do a serious injury to herself, but if I try and hold her, or comfort her, she goes into a worse fit. I have tried taking her into the bathroom and turning on the shower, and at times hoping in it with her. It actually has settled her on occassion. I was told that running water (similar to waterfalls) is soothing, and can calm a distraught and negative child. I warn you, if you try this, most likely your daughter will go crazy prior to calming - obviously for all the reasons we have both described - being held etc. And in regards to you and your wife... it is the same for me and my husband. I completely lose it, as i feel like I can not help my daughter, and I'm so afraid she will hurt herself, plus I have absolutely no idea of how to help her. But what i need from my husband in these moments, is for him to take control of the situation, and stay calm as I am not - I need him to try to calm my daughter, take her out of the room etc and I also need him to give me support. A hug or just some kind words. I understand it must be hard on him (and you though) as you are trying to hold EVERYTHING together for everyone. Keep strong together though, as frustrated and angry parents that are at each others throats wont help her, or even your son. Kids pick up on the vibes. and another thing to try, is not to let her get overtired... Good luck!
04/12/2012 at 12:59
We are having a similar issue with our 21 month old daughter. A happy and cheeky child during the day, going to bed is not a big problem either although she does want us to stay with her until she falls asleep. If you try to leave she would start whinging and it would progress on to crying which does not stop ( I have tried CC as well in the past for over an hour but I only tried it if she was messing around and not trying to go to sleep. If she was lying down I felt okay to provide her comfort through my presence or slight patting.
Our daughter has never really slept through the night. Even in the recent months, she would wake up around 1 or 2. If it was just a whimper we didn't go in but if it was a cry one of us would and she would be standing up in her cot. Usually she would just lie down again and want us to stay with her until she fell back to sleep.
But these outbursts in the middle of night are something else. We were on a holiday recently where she slept in our bed each day. On our return it took us a little while to transition her back into her room but bed time routine is back to normal now.
Now we have this new middle of the night issue. In the last few days, she woke up around 1, was frantic by the time I got to her room, would not let me hold her or pick her up, thrashed about and generally was very angry. The first day I was trying to pick her up. Next day after reading about night terrors, I just stayed in the room and let her calm down. After 20 minutes of crying she did calm down but didn't go back to sleep. She wanted cuddle and then wanted to come into our room. We have allowed her to be in our bed in the past so I let her. Same thing happened the next day. But after all that she wakes up perfectly happy.
So last night I thought I should try giving her a choice of sleeping on a mattress on the floor in case being in the cot is causing a feeling of entrapment. Bed time was fine. She opted for mattress and went to sleep easily. Didn't wake at 1 or 2am, so I thought RESULT! but alas, she woke at 5:30. She was out of the bed and standing and crying when I went in. As soon as she saw me, she walked past me into our bed and then started tantrum. Although not as wild and frantic as the night before and she was responding with No's to all my questions/suggestions, I could only deduce that she was cross at not finding me or daddy by her bed when she woke and this was not a nightmare or night terror. Eventually after 15 minutes of crying she wanted a cuddle and then wanted to go downstairs to get some milk. It being nearly 6am by now I figured she may well be genuinely hungry for her morning bottle so I gave her the milk.
Experienced mums and dads can probably pick out a whole number of things I am doing wrong, but I do not know what I could do really.
Is it just a phase? I thought that she might be overtired, but she naps 1.5 to 2 hours in the afternoon and looks happy and active.
24/06/2013 at 03:38
Not sure if anyone will see this as no one has posteI about this in over a year
My daughter is 2.5 and sometimes goes into these fits of rage either while sleeping or after napping where she screams and cries at the top of her lungs, stiffens her body like a board, starts pulling her hair, scratching or hitting her face even. This has primarily happens only while she is with my parents while I am working or on errands. The fits get so bad it worries us all that something my not be right. This could not possibly be normal, right?
28/06/2013 at 18:39
Children do develop routines and sometimes they are very inconvenient routines. My daughter kept waking up at 1am and screaming. We eventually worked out it was because the heating has gone off by then (and she kicks her blankets off) so the cold wakes her up. We improved the heat insulation and now she rarely wakes up
The sick thing must be a nightmare though. Unfortunately if kids know it will get them what they want they will repeat the behaviour but that isn't an easy battle to win
21/07/2013 at 05:31
We are raising our 3y/o foster grandson (after raising five children of our own and never encountering this problem).
We are now experiencing these night 'tantrums'.
We have worked out a few things but not a real cure. Firstly, the 'tantrum' can sometimes be averted by a distraction. Eg.When it starts, if I can pique Josh's curiosity with an unusual sound or song or story or a short home video on my phone for instance, he will often quiet to see whats going on,stop the hitting kicking and screaming, accept comfort, climb on my lap, calm down and listen or watch and go calmly to bed shortly after. (I have to have several distraction ideas at the ready as the same one doesn't work every time).
Secondly this issue is often associated with the need to urinate. If I can get Josh to relax enough to sit on the potty and he relaxes enough to release the urine, there is a usually a large amount of pee released... though often he seems too tense to release it.
Josh has had what I consider to be an unusual life up to this point, and I am sure he is acting out of stress... He seems to have to blow off steam (in a big way), but he mostly controls himself during the day. When his defences are down in the night in the half awake half asleep phase he can't stifle this out of control behavior.
He has his worst nights after his routine has been upset... even when it's a great day of fun and activity that is outside his 'same old- same old' home routine.
We are still studying Josh's 'symptoms' and trying to modify our lives to create even more calm and security hoping to stumble across the underlying cause of his angst. I hope this helps... It makes me feel better that we are not totally alone... I was starting to worry that it was mental illness as that runs in Josh's family line.
04/08/2013 at 12:05
29/09/2013 at 19:59
My kid is 1 yr 4 mts old, since last one week he started throwing tantrum between 1 am to 2 am. He started crying in his high tone, not drinking water, try to feed him breast milk in vain, he is simply out of control.rolling on floor.
I tried to take him out of home and drove him in a car- I think it worked he immediatly calmed down, second time I tried this again it worked.
11/10/2013 at 23:10
il, I feel for you, my eldest had very similar episodes as you describe, also she was about one year older than your lo. We tried all sorts of things, like no milk before, bed or cheese, or iffy stories or programes just pre bed. most nights for about 2-3 months she woke up crying and screaming and then had to come in our bed because she was physically shaking she was so frightened.
But, the good news is, after a period of time, it all stopped just as fast as it began.
Good luck, and hang in there.
29/10/2013 at 06:54
19/05/2014 at 19:16
I have four children - 6, 3 and twin 20 month olds. These night tantrums have happened with each one so far and we're enduring it with our oldest twin now. The first thing to remember is that they are not awake, even if they look like it. Think sleepwalking , but in tantrum form. Next, stay calm , stay with your child. Try offering a drink, or a change of scene but don't be surprised if it doesn't work. Then wait for it to end while making sure the child dosn't hurt themself. It will pass. Try making sure bedtimes are consistent and on time. This isn't a pleasant phase but, like learning th most efficient way to clean up vomit, it's part of learning to be a parent. You can do it.
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