Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
07/04/2015 at 14:38
I hope you all had a lovely Easter!
I think I ov'd last week but I missed one of the most important temps as I got very drunk on Saturday!
Hi to all who follow!
07/04/2015 at 14:52
Hey Lulu, hope you had fun on Saturday! Hope you managed to catch ov :-)
AFM - I had a great Easter, was back in London for four days - didn't realise how much I missed the place until I came back. Was good to live as a Londoner temporarily! TTC-wise I think IUI #3 has failed. I am only 6DPIUI and 5DPO (I think the latter is right) and have already got sore boobs. So I'm out of the running for a 2015 baby definitely. Have an IVF meeting on Thursday and although I know it's a positive that we have that in our plans, I can't help but feel glum about it. I said to H the other night that I'm struggling in Copenhagen at the moment - I now associate the flat with infertility, as strange as that sounds, so sometimes when I'm about to come home from an evening out or just home from work, I feel my heart sinking as I'm coming home to my infertility. I know it's not a great attitude but I can't help it. I want a baby in the flat and we haven't got one. We're not even allowed to get a cat. I wanted to get a rabbit so I can have something to care for but H isn't up for it at all.
Sorry, I'm not feeling *that* down today, despite how the above reads! Am still doing yoga every morning and will be going for some exercise tonight. I just don't think I'll be 'right' until I see those two lines and then a scan. I'm sick of being the only one without a child/child on the way in this office.
07/04/2015 at 17:08
Evening ladies - sorry I'm a bit late - mad busy today!
Lulu - Hope you had a lovely Easter too. Did you enjoy getting drunk?! :-)
Enjayee - Oh I'm sorry to read this - I had hoped the extra stimming would work for you. I wish I could give you a huge squishy hug and say something to help but I'm afraid words are of no use to you right now. I don't think associating the flat with infertility is that strange - I do the same with our living room! I had planned it in such a way that we would have boxes for baby toys and loads of space for a cot but have ended up with H's rubbish in those places instead! I know what you mean about a pet to care for - I'd love a dog but can't justify leaving it alone all day. I'm thinking of helping out at a shelter - could that be an option for you?
AFM - CD6 and expecting ov this weekend but H will be away on Sat & Sun so we might miss this one. I guess I'm just waiting for our fertility appointment really - not that I've given up on falling pregnant naturally, I'm just keeping myself grounded that our chances are very low.
Hello to all xx
07/04/2015 at 18:57
Evening lovely ladies,
Lulu - fingers crossed! Did you have a good Easter?
Enjayee - sorry you think you are out. Big internetty hugs for you. Hope Thursday goes well. I'm glad you are still doing your yoga. X
Tayto - glad you haven't given up on a falling pregnant naturally. Did you manage to reschedule your appointment? I think I might have missed when it was.
AFM - spotting started yesterday as well as a temp drop so think I'm out and expecting AF anytime.
Hope you all had lovely Easter's. Xx
07/04/2015 at 20:57
Evening girls x
Fingers crossed LuLu, hope you had a good night x
Enjayee I know how you feel, in our old house I put off decorating our box room thinking one day it will be the nursery so wanted it left. We have since moved and hoping it doesn't get to that stage again. Sorry to hear you think you are out, I hope you aren't try holding on to that hope x
Tayto, I hope you do managed to catch ovulation x
SallyLou sorry to hear you think you are out x
AFM been awol again, always came on late at night like tonight and it was quiet. CD4 today on cycle 11 I believe so feeling pretty low, made worse by the fact we are supposed to be seeing our pregnant friends this weekend and I really am not feeling like I can cope with it which then in turn makes me feel worse for feeling the way I do when any child is a miracle.
Hope you all had a lovely Easter x
08/04/2015 at 08:58
Morning all. Thank you all, as always, for your kind words.
Tayto - glad you don't think I'm strange. I have an area in our dining room like that but we've now put nice IKEA storage units there which reminds me less that it was supposed to be for a cot. Glad you haven't given up trying naturally. I don't think I could help out at a shelter - I want something that's mine that I can bond with.
Sally - sorry about the spotting :(
Mrs T - I do have some hope but I'm trying to let it go because I know that come Monday (when AF is due) I'll be devastated. Hope you're ok. Are you going to make an appointment with your GP seeing as this is cycle 11? As they may not have any immediate appointments meaning you'll be on cycle 12 by the time you see them. And if AF doesn't make an appearance for cycle 12 you can cancel. Be kind to yourself about the pregnant friends too, it's TOTALLY natural to feel glum about it. I don't usually subscribe to the 'every child's a miracle' thought although I do believe it's a miracle anyone gets pregnant at all when there's 12 hours per month that it can happen!
AFM today - I've been contacted by a recruiter regarding a job in Copenhagen who have just taken on a good agency as a client. From looking at the job it seems quite operational which is not what I want to do, but it does seem to work with numbers (something I am good at but never get to do at my current place) so I'm going to ask for more details. I don't see the baby thing happening for me so I might as well try to make other areas of my life happy! In other news, I came down suddenly with a horrendous sore throat yesterday and highish temperature. Felt awful last night, woke up this morning with a worse sore throat and bit of a temperature (although that appears to have gone now) so I'm staying home. Work just irritates me at the moment anyway!
08/04/2015 at 10:13
Enjayee - Your London weekend sounds great glad you had a good time! Sorry you think this round is out but I'm still going to hope for you. I hope you feel better soon! xx
Tayto - I hope you don't miss your chance this month but know what you mean about just waiting for appointment.
Sally - I'm so sorry the spotting has started hope you're ok xx
Mrs T - Sorry you are feeling low, I hope you are ok when you see your friends at the weekend.
AFM - Very strange cycle again had temp rises to confirm ov but had 2 days now of low temps so guess that means I'm out but still going to hope anyway as what harm can hoping do?! Been a bit bad with drinking this cycle as we went away at the beginning and then had boozy weekend so going to get back to being good now and try to start some form of exercise!
Hi to all who follow! xx
08/04/2015 at 14:45
It's weird, I feel better already, although I still have the sore throat ... felt absolutely horrendous last night! H reckons it might have been the London living but we didn't go that crazy and I felt absolutely fine on the Monday (we got back Sunday). Ah well, will just chalk it up to a 24 hour thing and be grateful it's not flu - was worried last night it would turn into full blown flu and that I'd have to cancel my IVF appointment tomorrow! I've prepared nine questions for them so far, I don't believe that there's such a thing as overkill when it comes to this, haha.
Lulu - fingers crossed that's a good sign and of course there's no harm in keeping hope. Boozy weekends are fun, I'm enjoying them once in a while, while I still can :-)
08/04/2015 at 15:16
Mrs-T - I'm sorry you are feeling down, lots of internet hugs heading your way too.
Enjayee - glad you are feeling better! I've had a scratchy throat for a couple of days, I thought it was another cold but I'm wondering if it's the start of hayfever! I'm pleased you've asked for more information on the job, it can't hurt to find out some more about it. It's good that you are trying to improve other areas of your life as well, but I'm absolutely positive you are going to be a mum at some point. xx
Lulu - fingers crossed you aren't out, glad you still have hope! What more can we have?! I think we need the odd boozy weekend, I polished off a few bottles of wine over the long weekend with the other half!
AFM - feeling a bit crampy so AF is probably going to make her appearance this afternoon/evening. I'm feeling ok I think, we'll see when it actually arrives. But I wasn't hopeful this cycle (intuition perhaps!) so I haven't got the usual crash. Will be moving on to cycle 10 though and feeling like we're heading towards a deadline now, not sure what my thoughts are on that right now. Still got time!
Hi to all who follow. xx
08/04/2015 at 16:23
In fact - make that CD1! Fingers crossed for 10th time lucky! x
08/04/2015 at 17:17
Sorry it's CD1, Sally. I'm glad you're not feeling so much of the crash but sending hugs anyway. I made an appointment with the doctor after ten cycles but that was because I became paranoid about my age (I was 33 and turning 34 in a few months from then), even though the private clinic have since said that in their eyes I'm still a very young woman! I sincerely hope you don't have to go through that - everything crossed for cycle 10 xxx
My sore throat has pretty much gone! I still sound slightly raspy and was wheezing by the time I got home on the bike but all the ill feelings from yesterday have almost disappeared - hoorah! The job wasn't to be I'm afraid - I didn't have experience in something quite technical which was vital but never mind - was good to speak to a recruiter as it reminded me there is life outside of where I am at the moment!
09/04/2015 at 07:13
Well, today is the IVF meeting. I've prepared questions but even though I have been feeling positive that we have a plan I can't help but feel sad that it's come to this. Naïvely I though that we wouldn't need to get to this stage this year as IUI would have worked ... feel a bit of a fool to think that it would. The cramping has started in earnest now, 8DPIUI and 7DPO. It doesn't mean anything other than AF, H is trying to keep positive but I told him yesterday that I have been experiencing AF for 21 years so I know what to expect and when. Kinda regret not going for private IVF in January but we really thought that IUI would work but now I find out that cumulative odds are 40% for three cycles. I have this vision of my eggs being completely crap too. My AMH numbers were fine but they apparently can't tell the actual quality of the egg until they are extracted. Even though the sperm count has been the main issue, I'm still lumping a hell of a lot of pressure on myself and can't seem to stop!
But bring IVF on. I'm sick of infertility and I'm sick of feeling so sad. If IVF can get women pregnant who have ovulatory issues coupled with sperm issues in a man then there's no reason it can't work for me. I have to admit that I feel slightly resentful of H sometimes as his life seems to go on as normal, whereas I'm the one who has to do all the injections, all the invasive scans, all of that stuff, when there is nothing wrong with me, other than I am 34 (even though I was 32 when we started trying). I know it's a horrible thing to admit but I need to be honest. At the moment he's just watching the TV and I don't hate him or anything, please don't think that, but there is a small part of me which wants him to experience how I feel. When I told him that I was nervous about the injections he brushed it off saying "well you said that you'd do anything, are you telling me you're backing out?" - er, no. I'm saying that IVF is a lot more intense and a lot more uncomfortable and I am nervous about that. That is what I am saying.
Mini rant over. I just hope IVF can bring us the baby we both long for.
09/04/2015 at 07:21
Just tried to speak to H about how nervous I am for this morning. The answer "so admit that you do care whether it's IUI or IVF". I said that of course I cared and that I could do anything to get this baby, but it doesn't mean I can't be nervous". His answer: "can you just say 'this is what I believe' and 'this is what I feel' because they are two separate issues".
All I needed was some reassurance that, I don't know, he was nervous too. Or that he knew it was tough for me and that he'd be there. I'm tired of him being so logical all the time, I know it's not a bad quality trait but with something emotional like this I want his support, not his instructions. I know I'm being unreasonable particularly because it's because of male problems we have to go down this road. I don't really know what I'm expecting ... maybe an admission that he knows it's him. But then what good would that do? Nothing.
Sorry - am kinda using this as my own rant thread which isn't good!
09/04/2015 at 08:46
Enjayee my lovely - good luck for today! I hope you get all the answers you need and they make you feel more reassured about the process. It's going to be tough no question, but you can and will do this. I understand what you mean about your husband, I'm generalising hugely but they don't seem to ever work on quite the same wavelength and can be very clear cut about things. I wish I could do that but my brain goes haywire!
I wish a could give you a big hug to wish you well today, but I'll be thinking about you instead. What time is your appointment?
Thanks for your lovely words yesterday - I'm 30 in July so I think still young enough in the doctors eyes! We planned that we'd go when we get back from Italy in July if nothing before then, but may change my mind and go before hand!
AFM - CD2. Nothing to report! Feeling fine apart from crampy and tired.
09/04/2015 at 08:55
Enjayee, just crashing to wish you lots of luck for today. I hope you don't mind me saying so, but I really want to shake your husband! You don't need comments like that , he needs to give you a great big hug and tell you that you are doing the right thing and everything is going to be ok. I'm sending you a big squishy virtual one if that helps. You can do this Mrs, and we are all here right behind you holding your hand every step of the way! xxxx
09/04/2015 at 08:56
Hello to the rest of you lovely ladies. xxx
09/04/2015 at 09:14
Thanks to you both. Claire, you can come over and shake him as much as you want - he can really irritate me sometimes!!
Sally - the nurse at the private clinic said to me that at 34 I'm still a very young woman to them so you don't have anything to worry about with 30 :-) CD2 is one day closer to the best bit of the cycle!
Leaving for the hospital in 15 minutes ...
09/04/2015 at 09:57
Sally - Sorry af arrived, fingers crossed lucky number 10 for you xx
Enjayee - Good luck today I hope your appointment goes well and you get all the info you need. Bigs hugs to you I hope your H can start being more supportive soon xxx
Hi Claire! I hope you and your little boy are doing well :-) xxx
AFM - 3rd day of lower temps, even though ff has put ov in for last week I'm not convinced I ov'd at all as when my temp did rise it wasn't as high as the last couple of cycles. Going to phone the clinic today to see if we are getting anywhere with our appointment as it was over a month ago we went to the doc.
Hi to all who follow! xxx
09/04/2015 at 15:18
Lulu - hope your clinic get back to you with an appointment soon, glad you're chasing up! I'm rubbish with temps and the like, hopefully someone more experienced will be able to give you advice!
Well, I actually feel positive. The only thing which was slightly frustrating is that we now fall into the unexplained category as H's results have really improved since the initial tests. Oh, and they couldn't access my left ovary but I'm not *too* worried about that as they've been able to scan me at the private clinic without any problems before so they said it might be just temporary and they'll look again on a further scan.
Anyway. If I have my calculations right, AF would be due on 7th May, which is the same day they are holding a general meeting. We have to have attended that meeting before undergoing treatment and if my calculations are indeed correct then treatment could start on Sunday 10th May (pretty sure they told us they're open all the time apart from the three week summer holiday period in July). And of course we'll have the option for a fourth IUI before that but I think we might just try naturally instead as I want some time out from all the injections! H and I have decided to go out on Saturday 18th which is the day after I'm due to test, even though AF probably would have been in town for 5 days by then. We're treating it as the last time we go out properly as just us two - even if the treatment doesn't work first time, I've decided to go teetotal and H is going to cut down even further. Both of us have been sensible - I tried to go teetotal during my second round of IUI but all it did was stress me out even more so I'm behaving pretty much as normal this time.
09/04/2015 at 17:30
Sorry not been about much recently.
Enjayee hope your h starts treating you better! He needs to understand what fertility treatment is like. I do think men don't understand what an ordeal treatment is for a woman. All the injections, internal scans, operation to collect egg etc etc!! Hormones all over the place. They have it very easy in my opinion and your h needs to put you first.
I had considered IUI as my first step but now I'm not so sure and may go straight to IVF as only few months till I'm 42 :-(.
Considering acupuncture too as heard that it helps.
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