hi ladies not quite in the same boat, my mum didnt have early menopause. she did have really excessive bleeding that made her very anaemic and they had no choice but to do a hysterectomy at 37. her sister had the same, much earlier, in her early 30s. i dont know if this could also happen to me.
im 33 with a 2 year old, i'm glad we started when we did (pg at 29, ds born 2 weeks before i turned 31). i know now i have a lo we could never have coped with an 18 month or 2 year gap. its been hard and i still find myself twisting my oh's arm (and sometimes my own!) about another.
However, i do want one more. i always imagined a 3 year gap and all done by 34. Oh is taking a bit of persuading but the further our lo's are apart, the greater the leap back to the beginning. its been a tough road and i want to do nappies and sleepless nights again while i have some energy. i want the excitement to be there that we had with a 1st but im just not sure it ever would be with a 2nd, we know too much now (lol, not saying for one moment i wouldnt love another as much).
i can say the sleep deprivation and sacrifice is tough even in your early 30s and this also makes me want to get on with it, it has to be harder in late 30s even if you are one of the lucky ones this is possible for.
never thought too much about my mum, maybe because we have a child already.
cazzasimpo - good that you've thought about not being under pressure to have a 2nd if you start a bit earlier. can't tell you how much of a dilemma that can pose when you have one. its tough on a relationship to survive it all once, you do need to pickt the right time 2nd time for whole family.
xxx