Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
08/08/2013 at 12:42
my sister was 5 weeks on monday but shes got a urine infection so they wanted to do an ultrasound today. I'm really happy for her because she has PCOS so she didnt think she could get pregnant, but i'm also hating hearing about her pregnancy. When i came off the pill she just decided to join me and do it too. She was tracking cycles with me and we would phone almost all the time and share our expereiences and now I just feel like i have no one.
Its a horrible thing to say, but I almost dread answering the phone to her. She text me a picture of the scan a minute ago - How do you guys deal with other peoples pregnancy's? Am I the only one that feels a bit gutted? I would never wish her pregnancy away and give it to myself, just so we're not confused. I'm just gutted i'm not in the same place she is enjoying the same experience. I know my time will come, i'm just on a real downer this week waiting to see the doc.
08/08/2013 at 12:48
On the whole I'm not too bad. I have plenty of pregnant friends and everything is fine, the ones I have 'issues' with are quick to think it is because they are pregnant and I am jealous, but actually they are just knobbers!
I am fiercely protective of friends who are struggling to conceive, and do feel for them when they are surrounded by pregnant people and BFPs. Sometimes it can get too much. In your position I would be honest with your sister, rather than her think you are off with her. Explain you are thrilled for her and can't wait to be an auntie, but it has also made you realise how much you want this for yourself. Hopefully, she will take the hint to keep you updated with the pregnancy but make sure you talk about other things too, and also if you have an off day or a meltdown, she will understand.
08/08/2013 at 12:49
Good luck for seeing your doctor by the way. Make a list of of everything you need answering so you don't forget under the pressure.
08/08/2013 at 12:54
Its completely normal to feel like that, you wouldn't be normal if you didnt.
I had a MC last July, and have had to watch my best friend go through a pregnancy which i made myself ill over dreading the birth, and now i am watching another close friend and my brother have another baby, thankfully they will be all over and done with my mid Dec!
Its a very strange feeling, you are over the moon for them, but deep down you are so upset.
I found my best friends pregnancy very difficult as it was only a couple of months after what should have been my dates and stuff, and cause it was very soon after my MC, it should have been be going through it all and it was very hard. I was dreading the birth but i was very surprised how well i dealt with it and it wasnt as bad as i thought.
My brother on the other hand, when he told me, i had a massive breakdown. I had to have time off work, i was sick, it was just horrible. With him already having children, it was my turn and not his again! But now i have come to terms with it all and i am stupidly excited about having a new healthy niece or nephew. Yes i may feel emotional when the baby is born, but thats going to happen and they know that, infact with the past i have had, they have been pretty amazing with the way they have dealt with it all towards me.
I have said this lots of times to people, but the only way that i can really deal with things at the moment is have things to look forward to. Like nice days out, breaks away, holidays, especially around when AF may be due aswel.
Sorry if i haven't really helped, just wanted to share my experiences with you and to let you know that you not on your own
08/08/2013 at 13:28
god i havent even thought about when its born! If i'm not even pregnant by then that'll be a whole nother heartbreak to go through!
none of my friends are trying for kids yet, i'm the first to get married, one couple have recently got engaged but no kids on the horizon yet. I think thats why i clung to my sister, because at least we were doing it together and it was someone i could talk to about it. no one knows we're trying so she was my partner in crime. I've recently just confessed to my friend that we're trying and she did the predicted "why didnt you tell me sooner?!" thing. so its nice to begin to have someone else to chat to about it. OH doesnt like the topic much, it makes him sad to think about it possibly not happening, hes a bury your head in the sand kinda bloke. Think i will have to text my sister and say "so happy for you, but go easy on me"
I dont really know what to ask the doctor other than "why is this happening" or, more correctly, "why isnt this (AF) happening?". Also ducky, on my other post you mentioned getting the PCT guidelines for my area - i'm either a complete moron or they dont exist. I've found the ones for IVF, which like you say, i'm not eligible because he already has a child, but i cant find anything about the stages of how long you have to have been trying before you can try various medicines. Maybe thats a question to ask her on saturday though... (I'm East Sussex by the way)
08/08/2013 at 15:41
There is soooooooo much that can be done before IVF so please don't get bogged down by that.
The Dr will probably ask you about your cycles (or lack of!) and other general health questions. The fact your H has a child is a sign his sperm are good, but they will may still want to check them.
Take it one step at a time, and try and plan lots of happy/exciting things in the meantime.
08/08/2013 at 15:43
In general, if you have cycles they like you to try for a year before they will start initial tests or refer you.
If you have a known issue, like no cycles at all, and it has already been noted, they may refer you straight away. It isn't an exact science and often depends on how understanding your GP is or whether they are stubborn and still want you to try for a year.
08/08/2013 at 15:50
oh no, sorry, i wasnt thinking about IVF any time soon, its just the only information that came up when searching for my PCT and fertility. it seems thats the only info out there. Also its probably better to know now that its not going to be an option then in 5 years.
i've broken it up into little chunks, first one being getting regular cycles, second will be ovulating on those regular cycles lol a girl can dream!
08/08/2013 at 20:51
Hi Wishful, you aren't the first and you won't be the last to ask this question :) I was also feeling pretty low recently when a colleague happened to show me her phone with the pic of the '2-3 wks' pregnant on it, I wasn't ready for it and certainly not when I had only tested that morning and got a negative. I won't say its easy but you do cope and get on. My colleague has her 13wk scan a week on Monday and I will be ok about it.
Don't be so hard on yourself and don't feel like you are out there on your own because you aren't, come here talk instead, plenty of hand holding goes on here :)
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