We have been married for 10 months. When we got married everyone who had children gave us advice such as "Enjoy your first few years married together before starting with babies".

I fully agreed with this and that was the original plan, however when we got married we both got quite broody and decided to start trying at our first wedding anniversary, which is this summer. After a late AF in January which shocked/scared/surprised us both for a week or two we got even more broody and decided to start trying in Feb/March.

Its funny how I suddenly became broody when I hadn't planned on anything for 2 years or so.
Now that I realise how difficult it is to get the BFP and then how common it is that things go wrong, I really wish we had just started on honeymoon!

Luckily I am 27 so am not in any urgent rush but now the broodiness is so strong that I keep thinking, if we had started TTC straight after the wedding I could have my baby by now!!

Just wondering what your thoughts were

xxx

I know the feeling Posy! We got married Sept, and then moved in Dec, with me starting a new job (DH is in RAF so he is in same job, just different place) I wanted to make sure I was here at least six months before ttc so I got maternity pay.

In the end we kept "forgetting" to use condoms, so gave and up and started ttc in March, and we got BFP straight away, but then mc in May and now it all seems so hard and upsetting and I've become this desperate, obsessed, poas addict that I think freaks out DH a bit, ha ha!

Wish we'd just started ttc straight away in Sept, or at least in Jan as soon as we'd moved. I dont know how other people cope with a mc....I keep thinking about how far along I'd be now, how I'd look etc etc. Its not what I thought ttc would be like at all i.e. difficult, upsetting and all I can think about!!

Sorry, turned that into a bit of a mc topic... xx

Hi Posy,

When we conceived last Oct it was unexpected, we had only just stopped using protection well it was more a thing of we were really rubbish at using protection.

We had always talked about having kids & it wasnt until we found out I was pg we realised how much we really wanted it & even so more when we mmc.

After that I felt like I was in a rush to get pg, then at the beg of this cycle I decided it will happen when it happens & tried to relax despite this week feeling quite the opposite, I guess I just presumed that we would conceive straight away like a month later! But I know it will happen in good time xx

Lulee...don't worry, all I'm thinking about this week is my MC as I'm supposed to be 8 weeks today, i need to move forward as well.

Laujai, I feel in a rush too! I want to get pregnant again in the next few months. The first time it took my 3 months, I hope it is just as quick this time

xxx

Posy im sure you will be fine hun. It's all still very fresh posy so it's natural you'll probably not think of anything else at the moment, but I promise you time heals & even tho I think about it still the pain does get easier to bear xxxx

I know exactly what you mean, I'm 28 in 9 days (which I know is not old), but I thought I'd be pregnant by then. Oh how wrong I was. I just hold on to fate, when it's meant to be it will.

Hang in there girls, it will be even better when we get there in the end.

I'm moving in two and a half weeks too so going with - new house, new baby

Oh I really wish I'd started sooner. I felt that I would want another when G was around 6 months and even asked my gp at the time if I still felt the same way when G was 18 months would she refer me for private AI. I then moved house and all my savings went on the house. It was over 2 years ago that someone told me about the sperm donors website and I didn't look for a while as I realised if it wasn't for me that it was my only option and I didn't want to face that.
Stupidly after I realised that it was a good option I then waited another 6 months before I joined and started my search for a donor.
As G was an accident I just assumed that I would be pg in a maximum of 3 months and here I am on attempt number 18!! I realise now that my eggs are aging rapidly (I'm 40) and really wish that I hadn't left it so long. Greediliy I would've loved to have had another 2 children but feel with my age that thats probably no longer an option.
I would also have liked the age gap between G and a sibling to be smaller, but thats life I suppose.
I know how lucky I am to have her and if I fail to get pg again at least I know I've given it a good try.
Whoops thats been a bit of a long post!!!!
H.xxx

I would've been 12 weeks next week...going to Take That next week though, so should take my mind off it

The thing I still find so bizarre is having spent all my life till now desperately trying not to get pg, if I'd known it might be this difficult, I would've come off the pill years ago! Ah, the joy of hindsight...

Samiana - trust me, 28 is not old...wait till you get past 30 and the wrinkles start to show And good pma - quite right!!

xx

And past 40!LOL!!!
H.xxx

i'm 38, ttc my first and while it's tempting to go "what if??" i don't wish i had started sooner as it took me a while to meet my husband and i wouldn't have it any other way. you can spend alot of time in life bemoaning your lot, but life isn't fair and we have to be grateful for the happiness we DO have. i have already made a pact with myself that if i can't have children i WILL focus on the good in my life and do everything i can to make my marriage and life with my husband wonderful. if you constantly focus on what you don't have you will never have peace. don't get me wrong, i long for a child but i also have play with the hand that i have been dealt and owe it to myself and others to be happy whatever happens.

i don't know if that makes sense but i feel very strongly about this. my mum lost her life at only 43 and i always have it in my mind being healthy is the most important thing in the world. everything else is icing on the cake.

Hi Posy, I too read your posts about the MC. Really really sorry about your bad luck. Hopefully I'l lbe reading about a BFP from you in the near future.

I'm in an awkward split place at the mo. Half of me really wants to start a family the other half is a little unsure. I decided I didn't like where my career was taking me last year so am in the process of saving up to learn new skills, on the one hand I'm longing for my BFP but the other I worry that if I do start that family now it'll put off what I really want to do for a career longer, but then if I do have a family now it'll mean less dispuption when I do finally get to where I want to be professionally. Any earlier though and I really really really wouldn't of been ready.

God I think too much.... I know I'll be over the moon when that BFP happens and all my savings will be blown on designer maternity wear!!!!

xxx

I definitely wish we had started earlier! I don't really know why we agonised so much about when the 'right' time to conceive was because it blatantly doesn't work like that! If I knew then what I knew now (as the song goes!).

Oh gosh, Posy your life sounds so much like mine!
I'm 27, got married last Aug and was going to wait for a few years first! However after a weekend away last year when a friend told me how there was never gonna be the 'right' time and that she had had a mc, we decided to try x
I had a mmc in march this year (should of been 12weeks pg) and my cycles are only just settling! I really wish we would have tried sooner!
I can't help thinking how far I should be gone now and how big my bump should be etc.... It all feels unfair but I know we just have to keep trying and it will happen when its meant too!

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope to see your BFP soon hun x x

Luckyvic-you are so right, health is the most important thing.

Thanks Bunnyhunny

Barley81- I feel exactly the same as you,

Its really interesting to read everyone elses thoughts on this x

Given the choice, I'd have married and had children in my early 20s - but I am absolutely 100% certain that I wouldn't have wanted to have children with any of the guys I met before my husband, so I have no regrets about not marrying any of them.

I also have no regrets about not having met my husband 10 years ago, as I don't think either of us would have looked twice at each other then - we definitely met and married at a time when we were both ready for it and able to recognise the qualities we love in each other.

I do wish time wasn't so much against me - I'm 39, and hubby is 46 - and I would love to have the time to have three or four children. But I'm glad I didn't settle for the wrong man in order to satisfy my desire to have children, and I know that I would be happier not having children with my husband than having children with anyone else.

I do get fed up with the media banging on about women leaving it too late and then deciding they want children in their late 30s - the assumption seems to be that anyone of my age who is TTC their first must be in that position. I have wanted to be a mother all my life, but I believe that in order to be a mother, you need to have a father on the scene - and unfortunately, some of us just take a while to meet the right person. No choice involved - just luck xx

I always thought that too LDOM-you see all these articles about women leaving it later and later to have their first child and how you should be having babies in your twenties etc. ....but what if you don't meet the right person until you are over 30.

Hon
I know obviously i'm Pg but felt I wanted to join in if thats ok. I really do wish we had started sooner. Like you we got married in June last year and ideally we both really wanted to start TTC then. We hadn't moved as planned and money wasn't great so kept putting it off. 5 months later we still hadn't moved and realised it was highly unlikely so started trying. It took us 5 months to conceive. I'm 13+1 today and celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary next Saturday but I really and truely wish we had a little one to share a first anniversary with. I know I sound greedy as i'm already PG but personally I wish we had just thought sod everything and started at the honeymoon. I would give up my trip in Rome for our anniversary to be at home nesting with a little one.
xxxxx

Of course you can join in Emma.

Are you going to Rome next week then? Lucky you, its sooo beautiful. How romantic! Hope you have a brill time, take lots of photos!

Just enjoy your anniversary, and you will have many more anniversaries to come that you can share with your baby.

I really want to be pregnant by our first anniversary, not to put any pressure on myself or anything, that only gives me 2 cycles.

LDOM, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Thanks Posy - yeah we fly out at 6am on Friday and I can't wait, it will be lovely to spend some quality time together and your right about lots more anniversaries.
I know how you feel, if I hadn't been pregnant by our first anniversary I would have definately been a bit upset with myself but even though it's easier said than done try not to put stipulations on yourself chick xxxxxx