Hello ladies,

Me and hubby got married in August, and have decided to start ttc in January. We were originally going to be 'sensible' and wait a bit longer but it's what we both really want so we have decided to just go for it!

At work, I am just starting a 2 year course, so obviously if we are lucky I will have to put the second year off for a while, which does make me feel a bit guilty as my work are paying for it and giving me day release to go. The main thing though is comments I keep getting, mainly from my manager, about how I wouldn't want a baby, how much hard work they are, how I should enjoy married life first etc etc. My manager has even jokingly said I am not allowed to go off and have a baby!! These people don't know me and hubby are thinking about ttc, but it makes me feel guilty that we will be and worried about their reaction if I do get pregnant.

Have any of you ladies been through anything similar? I am quite young (25) but I have never been very ambitious career wise and having a family has always been my number 1 priority.

Any opinions will be gratefully received :\)

hi!

im in a similar siutation, there are only 10 people in our workplace and 2 people are already pregnant and 1 on mat leave and the manager always says to the pregnant girls (tmi) how they can never keep there legs closed and timed it wrong! the manager does not know im ttc but some of the girls do know... im really worried about telling them when i get pg and at one point was going to put ttc on hold then i thought for a second and thought NO why should i put my life on hold for my manager. it could take years before im pg and putting it on hold wouldnt be fair!
i wouldnt worry as theres nothing our managers can do!
good luck

Thanks for the reply, sorry to hear you are in a similar situation!

I know what you mean, I considered whether we should wait but that would be the only reason for me waiting! You are right, there is nothing they can do!! And I suppose it is just selfish reasons on their part, as they are just worried about the extra work it will cause for them!!

And that's a good point about it possibly taking a long time, I would be so upset if we waited and then it took ages to get pregnant as well!

Good luck to you too, I hope you get your BFP soon xxx

Hi, we get comments from our manager in work all the time about having 2 be given maternity pay, its so annoying!!! At the end of the day, its ur life and up 2 u when u want 2 get pg!!!

Fingers crossed 4 that BFP very soon!! xxxx

Ah thank-you Wigzy! I think sometimes I am so worried about keeping everyone else happy that I forget to do what makes me happy!

I just hate the way I am made to feel that I would be doing something wrong, but you are totally right, we should be able to do it when it feels right for us!

Sadly I get the opposite - aren't you pregnant yet? You've been married ages?? Have you two decided not to have children?
I have been married 18 months hardly ages! If we go to the pub after work and I decide to have a soft drink (just because I prefer not to drink on a work night) everyone automatically assumes I am pregnant. That REALLY annoys me!!!

Oh no Pozzee Pod, what a nightmare!! I suppose we can't win whatever we do then!! :lol:

Hey Magpie,

I get the same sort of comments from my manager but he is saying it in jest (kind of!) Our team is full of virile young women and if we all got pg at the same time he would literally have very little staff left!

If i think about it too much i'd feel guilty about it but at the end of the day it's our lives and we can do what we like! Lol! I would try not to worry about it hun but i do understand what you mean. xx

Thanks KeenBean, it is nice to know other people can empathise!! My manager's comments are exactly the same, sort of in jest!!!

I guess the best thing to do is get on with the BDing, block out all guilty thoughts and once we are pregnant worry about the consequences!! :lol:

I wouldn't mind but it's ALLLL the time at the moment. If I say 'I don't feel well' -- they say, you must be pregnant. Stomach ache? Pregnant! Headache? Pregnant! Don't want a tea/coffee/alcoholic beverage? Pregnant! Weight gain? Pregnant! Weight loss? Pregnant. ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH. That feels better!!

HAHAHA! :lol:

That sounds like my mum, but I think that is just wishful thinking as she is very excited about grandchildren!!!

Its the same at my work Pozee_Pod, I have been married 17 months now and 3 of my colleagues are pregnant at the moment and I hate when they start talking about pregnancy stuff if Im there cos all I get is "you'll be next....you not fancy having kids..." It drives me nuts.....or if smeone brings their baby/toddler in and everyone asks if it makes you feel broody....thankfully I dont think it will be a negative reaction when my time comes....still hoping for a Junebug lol xx

I think it's because I work with nearly 100% boys and they seem to assume that the only thing that can cause any changes in the female body are your period (which they delightfully call 'ragweek') or being pregnant. Clearly no other earthly forces have an effect on me - maybe I am super human?

I'm hoping for a Junebug too bryony! It'll be a late one though if i get caught i'm on cd7!

Nitemare, its mostly women in my office, think there are only 5 men compared to about 40 women lol....oh if only they knew how much we want a baby.....lol

I think Ive miscalculated and more likely to have a Julybug, either would do nicely though!! I am on cd 10, start opk's tomorrow...xx fingers crossed this is the month for EVERYONE lol xx

i never had this from work BUT my inlaws say this sort of stuff all the time

i've learnt that they are just opinionated and that people will often tell you to do the opposite of what they did because they've missed out on opportunities or something - but ultimately you have to do what is right for you - there's no need for you to feel guilty

my MIL was 21 when she got married and started having kids straight away so she feels she missed out on a career. but when i look at my SILs, they had great careers but didn't start having children til their mid-thirties and are now knackered trying to find a balance.
i'm 26 and reckon i'll work it out as i go - i love my career but having children while i'm reasonably young is important to me (and to hubby of course)

i'll listen to advice but i believe we all have to take full responsibility for our decisions

so plleeeeaaase dont feel guilty - they will be happy for you when it does happen and probably feel they can say these things because they dont think you ARE ttc yet (people are insensitive :roll: )

best of luck

Hey girlies.... For me it has been really intense because I had to gain weight before I'd be likely to concieve... I was in a possition that my job would be at risk if I did as I'm a model so that was really hard but iv Bern with my agent since I was 4 months old so it's a really personal relationship I have with her .... I do high fashion so there isn't demand for pregnant ladies either but I'm ready to choose life over work!.... Xxx