hi ladies. Im having man trouble. We are both ready and excited anout trying for our first baby but we cant get in the mood if you know what I mean. Because we know we have to what its for it seems so much harder(excuse the punn) to get in the mood. I suffer from cyctitis alot and i had a really bad attack not long ago and get worried and have to be very careful and extra clean whan we have sex. This doesnt help either. Was supposed to do it last night as we didnt do it the night before and he just said im tired and dont want to. He feels pressurised to be in the mood. I undetstand him but he wouldnt even try. How do I make it fun. We seem to be falling out alot more over it too. I really want it to happen this month and was willing to do it alot even if i were in agony with cyctitis. any sugestions x x x

I think this is common in a lot of couples ttc, it certainly has been for us!!!

We've been trying for 6 months and I had literally become obsessed with ttc and I think it turned into a bit of a chore, all focused around when we thought I was ovulating.

We tried to relax slightly last month and actually went back to basics and put the fun back into it with a lot more foreplay and build up. It certainly helped and hubby didn't feel so expolited either :lol:

He's away now until the end of November so we're on a baby making break :cry: but I hope you get your BFP soon xx

thankyou army wife. it should be fun but its not really, i look forward to the end of the sex session rather than the actual thing, as its the sperm i want. Does this sound silly. im also an army wife and he goes away when we really need to be doing things. Does your husband get tired alot as mine is constantly wanting to sleep and its driving me mad. where do you live? sorry all the questions x x

I totally agree, hubby was getting upset because I'd basically just want him to 'climb on' and wasn't putting any effort in myself to make it fun!! Eeeek!!

I naively thought I'd come off the pill and we'd be pregnant straight away!!

How long have you been trying for?

x

ps We live in Wiltshire but hubby is based a few hours away and commutes (when he's home!), what about you?

This is only our 2nd month of trying but its our second time trying as we had to stop before because of my really bad attack of cyctitis i had. We live in southampton. Hes never really been into sex as much as other men, well what i mean by that is some men wont say no but he will. sleep comes first. I want to be a mother more that anything as all the women on here do but it seems like an uphil struggle all the time. we have been together 5 years this year and married for 1 year. how long have you been trying? what does your husband do in the army? x

I can sympathise with you there as I had a bad bout of cystitis over the last bank holiday weekend and ended up having to see the out of hours doctor :cry:

Sometimes I do think it might not happen but hubby thinks we should be more positive and really tries to cheer me up!

I just wish he was home so we could get on with it!!

We've only been married 5 weeks tomorrow so the timing is pretty bad too... x

I felt like this after we had made the big decision to TTC. What I personally found helped the first time was to have a couple alcoholic drinks (cider is my tipple!) in the evening as I am sooooo much more confident under the influence!! We are now more comfortable with the idea and BD for fun again, even though as soon as it is over I am wondering if we just made a baby!!

Good luck TTC

XX

Thankyou for the advice. alcahol plays my cyctitis up so thats out of the window unfortunately. if he drinks he gets more tired. Us bickereing doesnt help either, over the most silly things.

Congratulations army wife on your marriage. Hope you have a long and happy one. I hate it when they go away.

Hello

My OH went out and bought some lingerie that he would have liked to see me in. That makes it more exciting for him. He was considerate enough to get nice things, even though it was from Ann Summers! :lol:

Maybe suggest that to your OH.

I do know what you mean about wanting to get it over. It's important to bd for fun, as well as for a baby. I guess with cystitis that can be difficult. xx

iv done that before but because he knows im not very comfortable with my body he finds it difficult to look. i never used to show myself off. im in pain alot sometimes and sometimes have sex anyway but i find it difficult myself to get in the mood so then he gets down hearted. its all a big circle. thanx for the advice will keep trying to think of something x x x x

I'm not comfortable with my body. But OH likes it! I felt I needed to do something, as he was feeling like we only bd'd for a baby. Which is true as we bd around ov. I find it difficult to get in the mood too, but I guess the goal allows me to get on with it! :lol: xx

Hi Wannabe,
Sorry to hear about your man trouble and cystitis.
I used to suffer with it terribly and it can really affect your mood and feelings towards sex. I thought nothing would every help but then I bought a self help book in desperation although I did think this is going to be a waste of time but it wasn't.
I would really recommend it, it's called Cystitis by Angela Kilmartin. Really easy to follow and I have never really suffered from it again and that was from about 10 years or so ago.
Hope this info is of some use xx

thanx lulubell, i will look that up straight away. I try and control it by using Waterfall D mannose but its expensive. My life has become so stressfull since ttc and his too. weve had a massive row today and he keeps changing his mind on weather he wants one or not. He says he does but doesnt want the pressure and wants to BD when he feels like it as he finds it difficult to get in the mood. I would do anything to have this baby, Y doesnt he feel the same? I want it to be fun for us but its so difficult for some reason. thanx for the advice x x

Hello wannabe a mummy, I understand your feelings and I have a suggestion.

If you want a baby its going to be hard trying to get pregnant if your both feeling pressured. When me and my husband was trying for a baby we didnt think about it even though we were excited we just did it every month when we fancied it and 'made each other happy' if u know what i mean? Sometimes I got real down when my period came but he was so patient and it came 5 months later a BFP

Don't push each other into doing it. Just go with the flow and do it as often as you both want. Like mithical said try lingerie he mite like u 2 wear. Don't try anything that might put any of u off.

In short time it will happen.

Good luck to you both and let us know what happens. About if you get pregnant and if you both feel any better? ok. xx

thankyou ladies for all of youre advice. i took it all on boared and everything seems so much better. we ended up bding last night which i didnt plan but it was great and he felt the same. i ever thougth it would effect our relationship so much but just have to work a little harder x x x x