Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
03/01/2014 at 17:20
So the 1st of my post natal friends has just announced she's pregnant. I just feel like I'm surrounded by pregnant people. The trouble is it's the 1 person in my group who I'm not exactly friends with (you know the ones that always have to be 1st with everything & trying to outdo everyone else). If it were anyone else I think I'd feel ok about it. Life is just so tough sometimes. Oh well, CD12 today so better get busy over the next few days & cross my fingers & toes.
03/01/2014 at 18:17
It is the law of sod that as soon as you start trying everyone gets pregnant. I seem to be surrounded by pregnant people at the moment.
It does suck, doesn't make you a bad person to be a bit grumpy about it and usually after a couple of weeks you feel better.
And yes, why are you on here?! Get busy! X
03/01/2014 at 18:24
Thanks Honky, just feel a bit crap. It's just so frustrating that there's not much you can actually do to speed things up. My hubby is still at work for at least an hour so no fun stuff for a bit. Need to get out of this funk 1st though!
03/01/2014 at 19:27
Have you any wine in? Not advocating that wine is the answer of course but nothing like a well placed glass of red to see that the world is not that bad a place!
I have never known months to pass so slowly, Christmas seemed to go on forever! X
03/01/2014 at 21:58
I find that even if I really like the person who's pregnant it's still sooooo hard to feel good about them having a baby when I'm not, I think it's natural! I deleted Facebook and that's helped stop me from spiralling into envy/worry. I know the waiting is tough, I'm cd 12 now but knackered after going back to work this week but feel like we need to bd tonight! I agree with Honky that a glass of wine does help!
05/01/2014 at 10:47
I was talking about this to someone other ladies who have been trying a while. We came to the conclusion that everybody who has been trying longer than a year gets a pang of jealousy/frustration/unfairness when you see an announcement.
I try (and often fail) to remember that I don't know what they have gone through to make that baby.
However if they are one that fell first month trying I think you're allowed to feel a little despondent, TTC is rubbish!
05/01/2014 at 11:17
Hugs to you, I'm sure it's an entirely natural feeling that all women get, even if you are genuinely happy for the person.
05/01/2014 at 13:00
It is a natural feeling when ttc and does not mean you're a bad or horrible person. I too deleted Facebook as it made me feel I was surrounded by pregnancy when actually I wasn't it is just my FB friends are all similar age so at the same point in life. IRL I have a bigger mix of ages if that makes sense so the proportion of pregnant people was less. In the event I do get pregnant, I am hoping to use this experience to be more sensitive in how I announce and live through any pregnancy because as others have said you never know what other people are going through (they could have a 'band aid' baby or be struggling to conceive) and how they might react to the news behind closed doors. Hope that all makes sense
05/01/2014 at 16:10
Whilst I was never rude to anyone I did feel like being at times. Like the friend who told me she had got pregnant by accident and that was the best way and she was so glad she wasn't 'one of those women' who had to try for months to conceive. I just smiled and changed the subject and reminded myself that we had chosen to take the route of being private with our TTC (even parents don't know how difficult it was) and people didn't know our personal circumstances so didn't mean to be insensitive. I did delete a few Facebook friends and hide updates of others though and I got good at changing the subject or never even going there in the first place. Something else that helped keep it in perspective is a good friend of mine who has been trying for years now, had 4 failed IVF, but is still (in public) wonderful about others people's babies. I figured if she could do it so could I.
Like kittykat it's made me think about how I will pass my news on and how I talk to people about having children. Whilst I can't take away that feeling of 'why not me' hopefully I can at least be sensitive.
05/01/2014 at 23:51
With difficulty. You are allowed to feel sad, cross, whatever. Don't beat yourself up over it.
I agree, I got worse after a year of trying. Church on Christmas Day was hard for me, seemed like hundreds of babies in cute outfits were there & I was like a bear with a sore head.
But not everyone gets it's easy , you don't know other peoples journeys etc. comparison kills contentment.
remind yourself of all the things you can do now & what you can't do when pregnant - alcohol, Brie, dippy eggs. And enjoy them while you can, as your time will come. X
06/01/2014 at 21:41
Thanks ladies for all your replies, they've really helped me, Found out a colleague at work is pregnant but I feel a bit better about it today (maybe because I'm at CD14 & at the point in my cycle where I believe anything is possible! I've 'only' been ttc for number 2 for 5 cycles but it already feels like forever. Gonna book a nice hot holiday for August to give me something to look forward to. Thanks again ladies x
06/01/2014 at 21:54
I know exactly how you feel, me and OH have been trying since we got married in August and my SIL announced her pregnancy a couple of months ago she got pregnant a week after our wedding. I took it really badly (obviously in private) which I felt terrible about and it just hurt so much, I couldn't explain to OH why, I was of course happy for her but jealous and gutted for me at the same time. Thankfully I don't feel that way anymore and can't wait to be an auntie again, I had no idea it would bother me though so was quite shocked.
A nice holiday sounds perfect, it's always good to have something to look forward to and keep spirits up x
07/01/2014 at 11:48
We've been trying for our first for 16 months with 2 miscarriages. I hate anyone who announced they're pregnant. I cant help it. you just get used to it and plaster on a smile and say congratulations.
It doesnt get easier, you just get better at hiding your disappointment!
07/01/2014 at 14:25
There is a woman at work who is 21 weeks with her second. She is a senior member so a lot of her job i(appears to be) swanning around and chatting to all the team leaders about the latest news, targets, meetings. She has this really penetrating voice and ALL I hear ALL DAY LONG is her telling colleagues about her latest maternity appointment, scan, baby purchase, birth plan, talking about her first birth etc. seriously, there can't be THAT much that changed since yesterday! And she has the same chat with all of them so it goes on all morning, the same stuff about how he was waving his hand at the scan last week. As I sit in the middle of the office, I hear the conversation 10 times over. Drives me loopy.
07/01/2014 at 21:22
In a funny way I'm glad to hear I'm not the only 1. It just seems like sooooo many people are getting pregnant, & guess what my hubby text me to say (&I quote), 'got some good news but not for me' & turns out that another friend of ours has just had their 12 week scan, now again I'm happy for them but I'm not sure why my hubby felt this was good news as his text implied that it wasn't good for him which I read to mean good for me. Arghhh. I had a handle on it yesterday but had a bit of a crappy today today. Ducky, what a pain for you. & thanks for the advice Rod. I went to give blood today & the woman asked me if there was any chance I could be pregnant & I could easily have ranted at her. Take care all x x
08/01/2014 at 18:42
I had someone tell me they were pregnant whilst I was on my way to work this morning, they obvs didn't realise I got a bfn this morning but it hurt :( then I had to go into work...... Bleugggggggg ttc is awful :(
08/01/2014 at 23:52
What a way to start your day Honky. Sorry to hear. It really does make you think about what you might say or post when it does happen. Take care x
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