Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
18/11/2013 at 08:59
I haven't been on here in a while - nothing to say or to report and have been getting quite down about our TTC journey. But things are now moving in the right direction- I had an ultrasound last Nov which showed nothing and bloods done which seemed normal (although couldn't do 21 day bloods as my cycles are all over the show).
I was finally referred for fertility treatment in May. Since then I have had a clymadia swab (all clear) as fertility clinics wouldn't touch us until I had that apparently?
OH has had a semen analysis (all normal). I have the HSG on Wednesday and am concerned about pain - they told me to take really strong painkillers in the morning before the app.
Any words of wisdom or advice? Anything would be much appreciated. I am sure this has all been done before but I have basically been sticking my head in the sand with TTC until apps etc started coming through in October.
I also had a mole removed recently that turned out to be cancer - malignant melanoma, I thought it was a mole, seen it went red in the sun when we were all on holiday so went to doc, he 'punched' it out & sent it away for biopsy. Turns out it was never a mole and was just malignant melanoma - it can just grow on your skin and doesn't always evolve from a mole. I cant remember how long Ive had it - I don't remember not having it. I met with a consultant last week and he is removing more skin around and cutting deeper to check for micro-deposits in surrounding skin and also removing more moles he doesn't like the look of, hopefully all before Christmas. Some of the areas are awkward and may require a skin graft, he wont know until he is operating. Will mean time off work as its done by plastic surgery and I will need to rest to make sure it all heals ok.
This year started off well - booked a holiday (which may have saved my life in the end) started a new job & had laser eye surgery. I was so hoping for that blue line at some point this year but just hasn't meant to be. Consultant did say my cancer should be contained in these next steps but wont know for sure until a biopsy is performed. He says at this stage fertility treatment can continue. Has also advised if we do have children that their risks of the same cancer are doubled which feels like a bit of a death sentence already and I don't even have any children yet. I am basically never allowed to sunbath again. I was never a sunbed person, always using fake tans etc, Its been such a shock.
So if its not one thing its another. Feel like I am going to be in hospitals in the future more than at my desk. My head is all over the place, I've so much to think & worry about.
18/11/2013 at 09:09
sasasi - i'm so sorry to hear about all that you are going through. what a difficult time. but it does sound like everything is being done for you which is good. that's so much to deal with at the same time. are you managing to find time to do things to try and help you relax - walks, exercise, baths? big weirdy internet hugs for you
18/11/2013 at 09:20
Sasasi it sounds like you've had quite the year! I do know how it feels to have one thing after another going wrong – it’s so overwhelming. WRT your HSG, I had one about 18 months ago and expected it to be the most horrendous experience, a few ladies on here told me they found it to be incredibly painful and uncomfortable so I took some painkillers beforehand (not strong ones though) in anticipation of this, and I figured that as I have a tough time with smears this was bound to be worse. In reality, I found it to be not too bad at all and actually less uncomfortable than a smear. It just goes to show that not everyone finds the experience of it the same. Maybe it helped me to go in expecting the worst, that way I would either be right, or find that it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
18/11/2013 at 10:16
I am so sorry you have really been through it this year havent you :(
I have no advice or words of wisdom, just a big hug and to tell you that you are not alone, there are always people here or on H who will listen xxx
18/11/2013 at 10:53
Thanks so much ladies for your replies.
V - I just cant relax at the moment - I keep losing my temper at stupid things & finding it hard to sleep. Trying to keep up healthy eating, exercise etc but some days I just want to hide away.
Thanks ST for the HSG advice. I generally don't find smears too awful so hopefully this is the same. Im taking the day off & just going home to bed afterwards. When did you feel normal again?
Thanks Rod - sometimes life is just really difficult. I seen your good news on here this morning - massive congrats to you & lots of sticky vibes.
18/11/2013 at 11:09
I felt normal pretty much immediately to be honest. I had the afternoon off work (largely because I worked a 1.5 hr commute away at the time) and I expected to have cramping but that never happened.
So sorry Sasasi you sound so brave though, sorry I have no advice I hope your treatment all goes well xx
18/11/2013 at 11:14
Thanks ST - I have a 45 min train journey and 5min drive to & from work everyday but work have been brilliant about all my hospital apps and let me have the whole day without using up annual leave. Its small kind things like that make this difficult time a tiny bit better.
Plan is to come home & chill out infront of the tv, OH cant get time off work but my mum is taking me to & from the hospital.
Thanks LuLu - Ive all my fingers & toes crossed to have a much nicer 2014!
18/11/2013 at 11:19
Oh SaSaSi what a year you've had! Really sorry to hear about the cancer but my fingers are firmly crossed it has been caught early and never to be seen again.
I've had an HSG and I can honestly say it was better than expected. I've previously had a coil fitted and it was horrible. Since then, any cervix rummaging makes me really anxious!
It really isn't horrendous. Get everything set up takes the longest and is probably the most uncomfortable bit. They use one if the large speculums which can be uncomfy, then put the catheter through your cervix and inflate a tiny balloon to 'plug' it. This feels a little pinchy (it made me jump!) but not too bad. That's the worst bit done. When the dye goes through it feels achey, like a mild period pain. And before you know it, it's done, everything is taken out (I didn't even feel the catheter coming out) and I felt pretty normal. A little shakey as I had been so nervous.
The whole appointment takes about 10 minutes. I bet you have the speculum in for less than 3! If you do find it horrible, it is at least very quick. You can take ibuprofen and/or paracetamol an hour before to take the edge off things. Treat yourself to a coffee or a bun afterwards!
18/11/2013 at 11:25
Gosh that is so much for one person to have to go through. I really hope the treatment goes ok. I have a lots of moles and you've prompted me to keep more of an eye on them than I do.
As for your HSG - I had a hycosy which is similar just with ultrasound rather than X-Ray, and although I found it uncomfortable it wasn't unbearable. The worst part I found was them blowing the balloon to expand your cervix and feeling the dye go through my tubes. It is painful but its ok. Take some paracetamol and you'll be ok. It was over very quickly though, so please don't worry about it. To be honest its probably better to go in without thinking about it as then it'll be all over before you really realise whats happened!
Good luck xxx
18/11/2013 at 12:57
Thanks Ducky & Browny - that's all really helpful information.
Ducky - apologies for my ignorance but what does OHSS?
So sorry for your losses browny :( how are things now?
18/11/2013 at 13:25
It's Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome. My ovaries over stimulated on the IVF drugs and whilst they took my eggs, they would not risk putting an embryo back as if I fell pregnant, it would make the syndrome worse.
It is basically big ovaries, leaking fluid where the follicles have been popped. The ovaries are painfully sore and the fluid builds up causing pressure and pain. They can tell who is likely to develop it by testing your hormone levels every other day whilst your growing your eggs. And also the number of eggs they collect. I had really high levels of certain hormones and made 35 eggs. So they froze all my embryos and I started medicine to control the fluid building up.
18/11/2013 at 16:58
Thanks, I'm doing suprisingly well considering. I have lots in place at the moment as distractions so thats probably why! I'm still waiting for my body to kick into gear post ERPC but I think its a losing battle knowing my body. I have provera to use if I get to the 8-week mark, but thats not for another 5 weeks! Then I start clomid again so I'm just looking forward to getting on with things.
Good luck for Wednesday and let us know how you get on. The person doing mine told me there and then my tubes looked ok, so maybe you'll find out on Wednesday if all is ok xxx
18/11/2013 at 21:55
So sorry to hear you've had such a tough year. I hope Wednesday goes well.
18/11/2013 at 22:05
Ducky that all sounds very complicated! Do doctors have any idea when fluid will settle down?
Browny- keeping busy is all anyone can do :( it's so hard though, you have had a really rough time too. Sometimes life just sucks.
Thanks rain cloud
19/11/2013 at 07:38
Good luck for tomorrow SaSaSi!
The medication was fab and I felt a lot better after a week to 10 days and completely normal after a couple of weeks. Although I know of ladies who have felt awful ages, one lady from my IVF group even got pneumonia from the fluid creeping up around her lungs! It's the clinic rule you have to wait 3 months between a fresh and frozen cycle (or 6 months between fresh and fresh cycles!). So we are just getting started for our frozen cycle now.
19/11/2013 at 10:59
First off - have a ginormous hug and be kind to yourself.
Like the others have said, the HSG is like a smear with an extra bit f the catheter. I personally found the dye the most painful bit but I went back to work after it and didn't feel too bad at all except a bit of a tummy ache a bit like period pains. Let us know how you get on tomorrow.
As for the melanoma stuff, that is a heck of a lot to take in not only for yourself but also for any future children. Whilst the consultant has said they would have double the risk this still does not mean they will definitely get it. For example, if your risk of getting a melanoma was 1 in 100 their risk would now be 2 in 100. Obviously I don't know what risk figure is the case for you so it might be very different. Don't feel you have to go through all of that treatment alone - if you like this kind of forum, Macmillan has an online forum where you will be able to talk to other people in similar situations. Alternatively, look on their website for your local support & Information service - they are usually a drop in and you can just pop in and meet a lovely person to talk to in confidence. They can put you in touch with more formal support if you want it or just be there for the bad days as and when you need them.
You have two emotional roller coasters ahead so please do look after yourself and keep talking either to us or to people IRL
20/11/2013 at 14:03
I am traumatised. Nurses were lovely, got a young male doctor which for some reason I didn't consider so I started to cry! Not a gd start. He was lovely but mustn't have been too experienced he couldn't get the catheter in right, it was taking ages & I heard him blame it on the gel on his hands I actually screamed at one point. So he removed everything & went away to get his 'senior' while I lay & cried & shook with nerves. God love the nurses they were so nice & kind. Told me I didn't have to do anything etc . But I knew if i didn't stay for procedure I wouldn't be back. So this senior male doctor came in & he was an absolute gentleman , used numbing gel & did it without the catheter. I still found it quite painful but nothing like the pain with first doctor. I still shook & cried the entire time. A nurse helped me off the bed & to get me dressed again - they gave me a pad & strong painkillers. Fortunately the test didn't show any blockages & the 2nd doctor told me that this test helps to flush the tubes so might help with TTC over next wk - 10 days.
Currently in my fleecy pjs in front of the fire. Feel achy, dreadful, drained & emotional. When the f**k is ANYTHING going to go smoothly for me?!
20/11/2013 at 14:18
Oh my goodness what an awful experience for you! As if it isn't bad enough having to have the procedure done, having it done by someone who doesn't know what they're doing is never going to help. Sounds like snuggling up with some treats is what you need right now xx
20/11/2013 at 16:51
Oh my goodness SaSaSi! What an ordeal. I would have been exactly the same as you, shaking and all. I know it's everyday stiff for the doctors but it is really scary for us!
It makes me so glad I had someone who knew what he was doing. Look after yourself tonight, treat yourself to something nice to eat xx
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