Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
05/07/2014 at 18:23
Ok so I'm in a relationship with an older man, we have been together for 2 years but I'm 20 and he is 53! Needless to say my family hate him. Anyway I got pregnant last June but because of pressure from my family I had a termination I really wanted the baby and I deeply regret it and ever since I had the abortion, I've heard none stop announcements off my friends that they are pregnant! It makes me really upset and depressed and I have a longing for that baby. My relationship with my boyfriend isn't always good but we live together and our lives are pretty stable apart from the age difference and sometimes I do think do I really want a baby with someone as old as him. The point is I want this pain gone from my heart and the only way I can think of doing that is to have another baby. I don't know if I'm being stupid that's why I have come on here to ask people's advice. Please reply with sensible answers.
24/07/2014 at 18:11
You sound as if you've got a lot of stuff swirling around in your head, Kirsten1.
I don't know if it will comfort you any but I think lots of women who've had terminations - for absolutely the right reasons - have feelings of regret that can sometimes take a long while to fade.
I hope you don't mind me talking honestly to you but you sound as though you think getting pregnant again will stop the pain you're feeling - and I don't think that's the best logic in the world.
I haven't had a termination but I have lost babies to miscarriage. And after each loss, I felt like you - like having another baby would heal my pain.
But it didn't.
Having another baby was hugely joyful, still is - but the pain of my losses are still there, not as sharp as they used to be but still there. I think you just have to learn to live with them, and eventually come to accept them as another of the many experiences, some good, some bad, some awful that shape your life.
Have you talked to your partner about how you're feeling? Does he feel ready to have a baby?
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