Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
21/11/2014 at 22:03
i haven't been on for a while. My hubby and I were ttc but stopped when his depression flared up again. We fell pregnant without actively ttc but on Tuesday when I was just about to hit the 5 weeks mark I began bleeding. It started as light pink spotting and gradually became a worse than usual period. My gp has said that I have to take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks as that's apparently how long it takes for the hormones to calm down. They won't scan me because a heartbeat wouldn't be visible at that gestation which i completely understand. I'm still bleeding I know it may last for weeks yet. I just want to feel normal again. This baby was a complete shock but we were incredibly happy for the few days we knew It existed. We've named the baby I was adamant it was another girl. I know that sounds totally rediculous I know she was still at the cells stage but it's helping us cope with the loss. I feel stupid because I know so many women here have been through so much worse but I can't help but cry and cry and cry. I don't even know why I'm posting this, I'm just hoping someone will understand how much this hurts.
22/11/2014 at 07:41
Oh Luna, i dont post here much now, just lurk from time to time but i had to respond to this. I'm so sorry to hear this. A pregnancy loss at any stage is devastating so there is no need to feel stupid. Although what I went through is slightly different, you are grieving the loss of your baby and I completely understand how u feel and how much it hurts. It's probably made worse as you are a little in limbo, not being able to confirm things as youre too early for a scan, so just waiting for bleeding to end is v.hard :( Naming the baby is a way to help you through it and isn't ridiculous at all, its actually a lovely thing to do for your baby and you and your h also. Nothing I will say will ease the pain but honestly, and I know its a cliche but its true: time is a healer and things will feel better eventually. You'll never forget but in time the pain will ease. Sorry to hear of your h's depression flaring up too, do you have good support from friends/family? As this can really help. Sending you big hugs x
22/11/2014 at 07:56
Big hugs to you and your H. I wanted to echo what CO has said. You're grieving for your baby, no matter what stage you're at, it's awful. Be kind to yourself, please don't feel stupid xx
22/11/2014 at 09:44
Luna, I'm so sorry to read this update - I'e no advice but we're all here for you if you need us. Take care & be kind to yourself x
22/11/2014 at 10:37
Thank you all so much. Co hope ur ok. We have a really good support network thankfully. Hubby had been doing really well and still is, it's me that's a mess. I'm getting there though. The bleeding is calming down but my morning sickness has come back. Xxxx
22/11/2014 at 11:51
Oh Luna I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you've got support around you. Give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourselves. You're not ridiculous for naming the baby at all my love, she was and always will be a part of your life. Sending you lots of hugs x
22/11/2014 at 12:02
Thanks PC xxxx
22/11/2014 at 12:13
Just to echo everyone else's posts really.
I am really sorry this has happened. You are grieving and cry as much as you need to there is no right or wrong way, I think its perfectly normal to have named your baby and will help you. As has been said time is a great healer you will never forget your baby but it will become easier.
Sending you massive hugs
With the testing in two weeks don't be surprised if it takes longer it took mine around 3 weeks until I got a complete negative.
22/11/2014 at 12:19
Thanks cc that's good to know. My go seemed very awkward like she didn't really know what to say x
22/11/2014 at 12:42
Oh that's a Shame :( well you have us :)
I found because everyone knows about ours that so many people just avoid talking to you..My best friend hasn't spoken to me since William!
Or they will message my mum asking how I am...why not message me yourself?!
Sorry that turned into a rant haha!
Be kind to yourselves and you will get through this together...! I know its made me and my husband stronger!
I saw you had been in the TTC thread take your time my cycles drove me mental after Jack for a few months just warning you!
22/11/2014 at 17:29
I'm going to give my body at least three months to recover fully, it could be longer though couldn't it? Just going to have to see what Mother Nature has in store for us xxx
22/11/2014 at 17:35
Sound's like a good plan... It took mine about 4ish months with a little help from some herbal stuff I take to get pregnant!.
I have my fingers crossed that it doesn't take longer than 3 month's for you... But just prepare for the worse and then its a nice surprise when it's better:)!
22/11/2014 at 19:04
Hi Luna, I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is absolutely awful to lose a baby at any stage so you shouldn't feel stupid to feel how you do. I think that you just have to go with the flow and feel how you feel if that makes any sense?! I'm glad that you've got a good support network around you both.
Just to echo what CC said, I got a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks after I had an ERPC after my first mc. I was absolutely gutted as I really didn't want to see it, so the next time I waited 3 weeks to test.
Sending you and your H a big hug xxx
23/11/2014 at 21:18
Than you so much lottie. The bleeding is stopping slowly but surely but my morning sickness is in full swing and my boobs are killing me. I hate this, I just want it to be over.
25/11/2014 at 14:03
Got my negative today after a week so just need to see how my cycles is going to go. Thank you again for all your support and advice xxxx
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