Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
16/03/2015 at 08:35
Hope you had good weekends :-) We painted our living room yellow in one evening and one day, including the moving back of all furniture - can't believe we did it so quickly! Next weekend will be the dining room.
TTC-wise ... I don't think it's good news. I still have sore breasts but this morning I woke up with what can only be described as a hormonal mess. I'm 9DPIUI and took a test and of course it was BFN. I don't know why I tested, I guess to see if the IC would pick up even a faint line. I know it's too early to know but I also know in my heart that AF is on her way. It's three days before I'm due on and the hormones have kicked in, which is the usual timing. There's a very slim chance that it's not AF but I'm not grabbing that hope as I'll only be disappointed. I decided to come into work - my friend hasn't made a big announcement and I don't know whether he will do, but I figured that I would want people to be happy for me so I need to do the same for him, as painful as it might be at the start. I know it'll happen eventually, but I just want to know when that eventually is. I'm starting to doubt that I'm strong enough for this ride. My husband told me similar this morning too although to be fair, it was in the middle of an argument. He always wheels out the "if you can't cope with this then I have to question whether you'll cope with being a mother" - I'm bored of that argument, I think it's because he feels completely hopeless. His latest bit of advice for me today (after he said that he can't just listen to me go on) was to speak to myself, if all I needed was to get it out. Oh, and that I should try to be at least a quarter as tough as men. If women going through this aren't strong then I clearly don't know what strength is.
We've made up now but he can be such an a**ehole about it sometimes. Hope you are all having a better time than me at the moment!
16/03/2015 at 09:07
Morning Enjayee. I'm sorry to hear what you've been through since I was last on. I see so much similarities between your OH and mine in terms of how to cope. Please don't doubt your abilities to ride this storm out; you can and you will. Are you still going to your psychologist? Can you get him/her to help you cope with your OH's behaviour to all this?
AFM - I hope you guys will have me back; I've missed you too much to stay away! I thought the break from temping, tracking & being on here would help but it hasn't so I'm back to stay! TTC wise, I've decided to continue tracking, I'm CD9 but I'm not holding out much hope this cycle (or any others for that matter). H has still not made any changes despite it being a month since he got his bad SA but I'm giving up rowing about it now. I'm concentrating on all the other things I need to get done in my life; finish learning to swim, see a CBT about my driving on motorways phobia, get back doing salsa & zumba, be more active, lose weight and meet more people as I've been in this country now for 3 years and have no social circle to speak of really!!
Sorry for the long essay; hope everyone is well - hugs & vibes to those that need them xxxx
16/03/2015 at 09:26
Hello my lovely ladies,
Enjayee - your H does come across as a bit of an *** sometimes. I'm glad you've made up. I really do hope it is good news for you this time though. Well done you for going in to work, and for the epic painting skills! You
Tayto - welcome back lovely, we missed you. You sound in a better place, how are you doing? I like your plan of action focussing on other things for the time being. Sorry your H is being an *** too!
AFM - CD3. Weird AF though which made me a little crazy but think I'm over it now. Very light and is pretty much over already. Assuming it's a fluke but it's been a bit confusing me shall we say. Full of cold too, I can't seem to shake being ill at the moment, roll on some warmer weather.
16/03/2015 at 09:32
Morning Sally! Sorry you're full of cold - two of my colleagues are out with really bad doses of it today so there's definitely something doing the rounds - hope you recover soon! How long is your AF normally?
16/03/2015 at 09:45
Yeah there is at least 3 of us sneezing in the office so far!
It's normally 4-5 days and relatively heavy. I've not had to use tampons and barely a pad, which is what threw me. x
16/03/2015 at 10:26
Have you tested, Sally? Wondering if it could be implantation or something.
(will reply properly later but thank you for being so nice as always!)
16/03/2015 at 10:46
Enjayee - So sorry you think af is on the way and that you and your H had and argument, remember you are so much stronger than you think xxx
Tayto - So lovely to have you back, I hope your H will come round and make some changes soon as it really can help. Glad you've got lots to focus on as well.
Sally - As Enjayee said if it was that light could it be implantation? Might be worth a test.
AFM - Spotting started 5 days early which is really annoying, wtf is wrong with me?! Struggling to lift myself out of this bad mood, been like it for over a week now which is unlike me, I normally only have a couple of bad days but really struggling at the moment. Hoping to feel better once I've got the refferal date through.
Hi to all who follow xx
16/03/2015 at 12:02
Sally - agree with enjayee, worth trying a test in case it is implantation. fingers crossed for you x
Lulu - nothing wrong with you; you're allowed be in a bad mood, wish there was something I could do to help. I do hope the referral comes through nice and quick so you can get a plan in place xxx
16/03/2015 at 14:33
You girls don't think I'm being crazy then? I'll test in case but assume it's a dodgy AF unless proven otherwise. x
Lulu - sorry the spotting has started early. Hope that date comes through for you shortly and that you don't have too long to wait. x
16/03/2015 at 14:50
Definitely not crazy Sally fingers crossed for you!
Looks like I have a bit of a wait ahead of me, just called my gp and it takes a couple of weeks just to send the letter and then another couple of weeks to recieve an appointment! I was hoping to get some treatment started before we hit the 2 year mark in June but that looks unlikely now :-(
16/03/2015 at 15:48
I feel for you Enjayee. Husbands sometimes just don't get it do they?!
What we all have to go through shows that we are indeed strong. I'd like to see the men swap places and go through all the procedures we are having to and see how they like it! . I Don't think mine quite gets what I will have to go through.
I have to think about logistics of getting to and from hospital too as I am the only one who can drive. H has a driving ban but that's another story which I would prefer not to go into.
Tayto. Good to see you back here!
I've kind of given up on charting etc as will probably going straight to IVF.
I do find you all great and love how we are there for each other. It's reassuring to have someone to 'talk' to who understands.
16/03/2015 at 23:47
I can't keep away lol besides this is probably the best place for me to be with feeling so down & glum about everything :-(
Enjayee- Must admit your H's attitude had me angered! You are a very strong lady don't be told otherwise. All these things that are trying us and proving our strength just go to show just how prepared for motherhood we all are. Sending hugs lovely and really got everything crossed that af stays away and you get your bfp x
Tayto- Welcome back! Glad you're feeling more positive, I hope H will start to make changes to help things along for you both, maybe he just needs a bit more time, which I know is still frustrating for you.
Sally- Have you tested yet? Hope it's good news!
Lulu- Sorry you're still in a low mood & it'll take a while for referral, on a positive note at least you've got the ball rolling. Have you got things you can plan or have in place in the meanwhile?
Hopeful- Yes it's nice to have somewhere to go where people really do understand.
Afm- Cd37, no sign of af :-( seriously fed up now. As I said before cb digi reckons I didn't ov this cycle. I seemed to have settled on a cycle length of 33 days for past 3 cycles, but now I'm 4 days late, have had 3 bfn's and mild cramps only every now and again. So this cycle is really messed up and don't have a clue what's going on. Didn't cope very well with mother's day yesterday either as it's been 10 years since my mum passed away, and really hoped I'd be expecting by now. Really hit a bad depression atm. Sorry to be all down. I have an appointment with health adviser on Thursday so I'll see what she has to say about it.
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