Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
11/07/2014 at 11:08
I've never posted on a baby/ttc forum before but it's got to a point where I need to talk to someone about how I feel or I think I'm going to go crazy!
I have endometriosis and have had 6 laparoscopic laser treatments over the last 10 years, the last being over two years ago. When I saw my consultant after that one, he said the next time I see you I'm sure it'll be because your pregnant (unlikely as I wasn't even in a r'ship then) but he said there was no damage to my tubes or ovaries and everything else was a lot better that it had been. Since then I continued on the pill and have had no endo symptoms .
We've been TTC since December 2013 when I came off the pill, I had a couple of months of unsettled bleeding and then since feb I've had fairly timely cycles, avg 28 days each. Thing is every month, during the TWW I drive myself insane, symptom spotting, internet searching every little thing and convincing myself I'm pregnant, whilst the other part of me tells me it's never going to happen.
Most girls grow up thinking if they slip up once they'll get pregnant and it'll be awful etc etc. I was diagnosed with endo when I was 17 and have spent the last 10 years thinking exactly the opposite. One ignorant pig of a doctor even said to me, look on the bright side at least you don't have to worry about contraception! So it's just ingrained into me it'll never happen. And that thought hurts so much, so so soooo much as all I've ever wanted is to be a mum.
This month I was due 5/7. I had very light spotting on CD 15 and again CD21 and CD30, very light pink and then one day a bit browner, only when I wiped. I had bloating and cramping as if AF was going to arrive but Since then nothing, I did One Step pgt from CD 15 every couple of days, one night last week I did 4 one after the other because I kept convincing myself there was a line - there wasn't I'm just mad. I did a First Response the day AF was due and 2 days later and then yesterday I did a sainsburys own - all BFNs.
So I'm clearly not pregnant, my periods obviously late for whatever reason and by keep testing I'm driving myself mad. I know this, yet there's still that tiny, teeny seed of hope.
Anyway this has been so rambly and I don't really expect any answers I just needed to write it down and get it off my chest. Thank you for reading, and if you got this far, even bigger thanks!
11/07/2014 at 12:12
Although I don't suffer from endo - it took 18 months of TTC-ing to get pregnant with my first child. I am fully convinced it was because I was super-stressed regarding symptom spotting the whole time. My H & I fought and DTD turned into not much more than military planning to ''get pregnant'' - not fun at all. I felt so pi**ed that you are lead to believe you can get pregnant so easilyand it just was'nt happening to me. I decided with my H in October that if nothing had happened by Jan, I would go to the doctor - this decision seemed to relax me and I got my BFP in November.
Now it seems with the endo things may be more complicated on your side but you can and should look into stress breating things such as aqupuncture or talking to someone. TTC can take over your life and is a big thing.
Good luck and I hope you get a BFP sooner than you think
11/07/2014 at 12:29
Hello & welcome - love the username!
What CD are you on now? How long are your cycles normally? Are you tracking your ovulation? If not, I would strongly recommend you do that as it will help you understand when ovulation is occurring so you will have a better understanding of your cycles. I found that, when I first started tracking cycle length - they were anything from 23 to 33 days and I worried myself that there was a problem. However, since I have been tracking ovulation, I've found I just ovulate later on some cycles - often, I can pinpoint these to stressful times at work/home/etc.
One other thing, given that you have been trying for what, 6/7 cycles now and you have endo, can you not go back to your Drs to get checked out again? Or did they tell you when to come back if it has not happened yet for you?
On the ignorant pig of a doctor, I'd probably have snapped at him for saying that - you are right though, it's ingrained into us that we'd get preg so easily, it's horrible when you realise just how hard it can be.
All of us on here drive ourselves mad during the 2ww so feel free to come on here for a chat any time you like. We even have a rant thread that you can just have a brain dump about the horribleness of TTC if needs be! x
11/07/2014 at 14:54
Two ducks, you have come to the right place. so firstly welcome to the lovely world of TTC!
I have no experience of Endo but I know that it can really play havoc when TTC. I agree with Suzi that the stress cannot be helping. If you like I have a large supply of OPK's kindly sent to me from a fellow mumdrumer, I am sending some to another mumdrumer but if you want me to fling some your way at least you can attempt to track ovualtion like Tayto has said. If you're interested, I'll post my email address and you can send me your details I;ll get them posted next week for you. x
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