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Trying to conceive
11/03/2014 at 05:16
I've been lurking around the forum for a while as i haven't felt ready to join in as i'm not pregnant nor actively TTC........just yet!!
I am currently living abroad and due to return back to the UK at the end of July.. nearly 4 months left to go, who would have thought that people got excited to move back to the UK! I got married in Oct and as i'm pushing 29 soon, it was always the plan to TTC ASAP, being mindful of our circumstances. I finish my last pack of pills at the end of this month and originally we were just going to get on with it, obviously not knowing how long it was going to take but now I'm trying to be realistic. I'll try and make this as brief and less confusing as possible for advice, so bullet points it is!
I'm pretty sure I've just blown my own head to pieces trying to make it as understandable as possible, so really hope I've kept some people this far!
So i guess what i'm trying to say is WWYD in my situation? TIA x
11/03/2014 at 10:01
If you can genuinely afford to live off H's wage for the whole pregnancy and as long as you want to be off with the baby then start trying whenever you want. If you can't afford it I would wait until you've worked enough to be entitled to some help. Have you looked at maternity allowance? You only have to have worked so many weeks out of the year to claim that, it's not about when you started your job. Can't remember specifics though. I know it feels like a long time but it would fly.
11/03/2014 at 10:44
What OB said, if you can afford to live off your OH wages go for it, if not I'd wait, by the time you've moved, found a job and got settled you'd be amazed at how quick that would come round.
11/03/2014 at 10:55
Hello Tonka and welcome to MD.
Only you and your H can really have your ideal answer to this. Like OB says there is also the MA, from what I remember you have to have worked 20-30 weeks in the year (it's a bit more I think) leading up to your due date. As a supply teacher with a school, so no contract and suffering very badly from morning sickness. I did not qualify for any maternity pay. So in a way you have the bonus of being able to consider this in advance, I guess. Other than child benefit we are not entitled to anything else, so as a family we have to live off OH's salary alone. Yes, some months are tough but we've found ways to save us money and we make sacrifices, to allow us to still put some money in savings each month in the hope that one day we will buy our own house etc. but at the end of the day, we are happy. Going back to work would cost us more money, as I'd have to buy a car to be able to commute and with the cost of childcare I would come home with less. However, this has just allowed us to see ttc baby #2 now is the right time for us. Our plan is for us to live off H's salary alone until our family is complete. Yes, there are days when I find this tough to see H's career progressing while mine is on pause, but I love being a mum and on days where I struggle with the fact I don't contribute financially H reminds me how much money I am saving us by us not having to worry about childcare.
Whatever decision you make, I hope you and your H are both in total agreement and that your TTC journey is a short one for you. x
11/03/2014 at 11:05
Hello & welcome - I have nothing further to add - some excellent advice given already!
11/03/2014 at 11:20
Thanks so much for your replies so far ladies, really appreciate it!
It's not helping with H changing his mind so much telling me that we can go for it and that we'll be able to afford it based on our predicted savings before we come home, to then going back on himself and saying if i can work as soon as i get back then that's wages coming in during our TTC journey and then maternity pay that we don't have to cover ourselves.
I just have a feeling that we won't be entitled to anything based on his income and the fact that we haven't been contributing to the UK in the four years we've been away, but have done between the ages of 18-25. I just don't want to have to keep waiting any longer than i have too when I've had my hopes built up so much just to get to the end of March!
Thank you so much Sapphire, that's really useful to know that it can be done, hope no.2 doesn't take too long x
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