Hi Girlies,

Hope you are all well - sending you all PMA & BABYDUST!!!!!

I only just found this forum after being on TTC then onto Pregnant (Got my BFP on 22/09/08 - will never forget it!!) - Then starting to bleed on 1st October, I got a MTX shot on October 7th (worst day of our lives EVER!)

I just feel so DOWN & like i'll never feel happy again!!! - My DH has been amazing and just could not give me more support if he tried but inside i still feel like a complete failure as a woman. I've never wanted children with anyone before and since i've met my Husband it was all i thought about!! We got married in January and decided to try in July nothing could've been more perfect, happy life, man i adore and then getting BFP in September - just to come crashing down in October.

Please someone assure me that this horrible down feeling i have will go away - i looked at TTC earlier and it seems everyone on the planet is getting BFP's and going on to have Healthy Pregnancy's (NOT THAT I WISH ANYTHING ELSE FOR THEM - I WISH THEM ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD) but i just burst into tears and thought WHY ME!!!!

My HCG levels have dropped from 275 last monday to 108 this monday - not bad i suppose - but the 3 month wait after the shot before we can TTC is gonna kill me!!!!

I tried to do everything right - stopped drinking for 8 months, took folic acid for the 3 months prior to trying, ate healthily etc etc the list goes on!!!

SORRY for the rant, i'm sure people on here have experienced worse and if anything good is to come of this i suppose it's the fact i'm not TERRIFIED of getting blood taken any more!!!!

Anyone on here had a normal happy pregnancy after ectopic and MTX????


Broxi xx

Hi hun,just wantes to say rant away! We have all felt the way you are feeling,you feel like the pain is never going to end,but it does.
I had a mc 2 months ago and i am finally feeling myself again,you never ever forget what has happened but you do start to feel better about things,it may take time but you will get there hun.It sounds as though you have wonderful support from your DH which is great.
I hope you start to feel better about things soon,(((((big hugs)))) xx

Hiya- it's the other ectopic girl on here!!!

I wish I could tell you that yes, it happened to me, I had ectopic then got BPF, but I'm afraid it hasn't happened yet. I would love the two of us (and all the other girls with their MCs) to get BFPs soon and all have healthy happy babies!

You actually got your BFP the day I had my op (didn't get the MX injection). My BFP was the 12th September

I know what it's like though- you just want someone to reassure you. I am constantly doing google searches to find reassurance. More often than not you just get worst case scenarios though! Although I found a forum yesterday where a girl said she had two babies when the egg transmigrated from one ovary to the opposite fallopian tube ( they scanned her and could see which ovary had ovulated) which made me so happy!! Of course that doesn't really apply to you

Did they give you a reason why you may have had an ectopic, or did it seem to be just bad luck for you too? I tihk I was just born with one dodgy tube

xx

Hi,
I hope you dont mind me gatecrashing, but felt I should reply to your post.

I had an ectopic pregnancy in March this year which they diagnosed at 8 weeks. I had the MTX injection and within 10 days my HCG levels were down to 3 so I was discharged.
It really was the most upsetting thing, and the thought of having to wait 3 months before ttc again would reduce me to tears. I know that this may not be the thing for everyone, but we bought a little teddy and kept that along with the 4 (lol!) positive pregnancy tests that I had done, as I felt that I didn't want to just forget my baby, and having somthing to actually look at and hold was quite comforting.
I went through so many emotions in the few weeks after, somedays I felt that I had killed my baby (even though there was no way it could survive) and other days all I could think about was trying again.

I know its easy for me to say, but it does get easier.
As soon as we were able to start ttc we got straight to it, and I am now 18 weeks pregnant.
This pregnancy has been fine and im excited to meet my baby.
I wont forget the baby we lost but you do move on.

I hope this has helped and not upset you.
Take care
Naomi xx

Hi,
I hope you dont mind me gatecrashing, but felt I should reply to your post.

I had an ectopic pregnancy in March this year which they diagnosed at 8 weeks. I had the MTX injection and within 10 days my HCG levels were down to 3 so I was discharged.
It really was the most upsetting thing, and the thought of having to wait 3 months before ttc again would reduce me to tears. I know that this may not be the thing for everyone, but we bought a little teddy and kept that along with the 4 (lol!) positive pregnancy tests that I had done, as I felt that I didn't want to just forget my baby, and having somthing to actually look at and hold was quite comforting.
I went through so many emotions in the few weeks after, somedays I felt that I had killed my baby (even though there was no way it could survive) and other days all I could think about was trying again.

I know its easy for me to say, but it does get easier.
As soon as we were able to start ttc we got straight to it, and I am now 18 weeks pregnant.
This pregnancy has been fine and im excited to meet my baby.
I wont forget the baby we lost but you do move on.

I hope this has helped and not upset you.
Take care
Naomi xx

Hi Naomi,

Thank you so much for giving me a glimmer of hope!! CONGRATULATIONS on you're pregnancy and i'm praying it will be a very happy & healthy one!!

Thanks for telling me it gets easier - and you're idea of the teddy is a good one - I also did 4 Pregnancy tests!!

How did you cope with the 3 month wait and did you do anything special or were you advised anything special - i'd really appreciate any help or advice you could give!!

Thanks to everyone for responding don't know what i'd do without you!!


Broxi xxx

Hi Broxi,

We put the teddy and the tests in a litle gift box, and on days when I was feeling bad I would just go and look at it or hold it, I know it dosnt replace the baby you have lost, but the feeling that you have somthing to keep to remind you definatly helped me.

The 3 month wait I definatly found difficult. At first I wasnt interested in my oh as I thought that if we couldnt make a baby what was the point. I wouldnt even cuddle him in bed, and he found it hard and felt like I was rejecting him. After a while, it became easier, but we only had sex twice in the 3 months following my injection. I put the date on my calender that we could start ttc again and that gave me somthing to focus on and the time seemed to pass quite quickly. I didnt want to risk ttc before the 3 months was up as I wanted my next baby to have the best chance.
On the 12 of June we could start ttc again and oh took me out for a suprise meal to try and relax us both, and in the end we didnt even baby dance that night as it was just nice to be back to normal and not be guarded with each other. But soon after we got trying!;\)

When I got my BFP I was worried about how I might feel, but ive managed to stay quite calm. My doctor aranged for me to have a scan at 7 weeks and all was fine which was a weight lifted from my shoulders.

As long as it seems now 3 months is only a short time, be careful not to push your oh away as you both need support. The MTX injection wont have any long term effects on your abillity to conceive and the ectopic pregnancy means that doctors will be more careful and reassuring when you do get another BFP. It will happen!!!

Naomi xx

Hi Naomi,

I feel like 3 months is an eternity!!! So does my 3 months start from the day i had the MTX shot?? If so we will be able to start TTC again on January 6th 2009 (1 day before our 1st wedding anniversary) A sign perhaps????

Did you take folic acid or anything when you were TTC, I took folic acid, ate properly, exercised etc etc etc but i feel like "WHATS THE POINT!" just now but i do want our baby to have the absolutely best start in life!! It's soooo confusing!!

I'm trying not to push my DH away but i feel EXACTLY the same way as you - we can't TTC so whats the point!!!! My DH hates condoms and doesn't have a high sex drive so maybe we'll be ok.

I think i'll get something to commemorate what we've been through. I got upset again this morning - the news was going on about the increase of teenage unwanted pregnancy's and i felt myself wanting to scream at the TV - BUT I WANT ONE!!!! it's so unfair!!!

Thanks for all the info and support Naomi, please keep in touch and tell me how you're pregnancy is going and if you have any other info to tell me please do or email me on my email button.

Love, Dust & PMA to all


Broxi xx

Hi Broxi

Have you looked at the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust's website? They have nice pinbadges and mobile phone charms to remember your bay by for a small donation

I got my charm yesterday but I'm not hanging it from my phone as I don't want it damaged- I'm keeping it in my purse

Lots of love x

Hi Kimmy,

I did see them on the website but was unsure how to get one? How do you pay for them etc???

Thanks Broxi xx

I donated ??5. There is a link on there to put card details in and then a link to email them and tell them you have donated and what you would like them to send you. I did it Monday and received my charm yesterday

The system they use can only accept ??5 and up so you can donate less but you have to write to them. The address is on there

It's really pretty. I'm keeping it in it's little gripseal bag because I will cry if it gets damaged!

The bag is stapled to a compliment slip with the Trust's logo on it which is really nice- I'm thinking about getting it tattooed somewhere. I want to collect as many things as I can to remind me of my baby and so far I only have scars!!

Aww babe that's so nice, think i will get 2, one for my husband also!!!

Hope you're scars heal soon and you start to feel whole again. Are you TTC again yet??

Take care

Broxi xx

Yes although they did tell us to wait for first AF before TTC again. If my fertility is going to be affected by this I am not waiting just so they can get the dates right!

It has been 32 days since the op and no sign of AF so far, but they did say it could take 6 weeks. I will be testing tomorrow morning as I am supposed to be going out for my friends birthday (wine!!) so I want to be doubley sure before I get pi$$ed!

Scars have been much better and I think the stitches are now dissolved, but when I see them in a mirror when I'm getting changed they look horrible- I felt so self-concious in front of the lady at the bridal shop last weekend

Big hugs x

Hi all,

I really feel for anyone going through this. I had an ectopic pregnancy Chirstmas 2005 ( was in hosp xmas eve!) after a year of trying for my second. I had the surgery and lost my right fallopian tube. I got pregnant the following cycle (didn't want to wait), but suffered a miscarriage. To be honest I wish i'd waited for my body to recover before trying again. Now nearly three years on., I have a beautiful daughter who's just turned 1. And she was all the better for waiting for. I will never forget what happened and my babies but it does get easier in time. I think the ways people have suggested remembering are lovely ideas. Take :\)time to get yourself healthy and then you'll have the perfect home for another baby for a happy 9 months! I know it's hard- I remember it seeming as if everyone was pregnant but me!!
Best of luck to you all TTC after something so heartbreaking.

Hayley, x :\)

[Modified by: hayleyramsey on October 23, 2008 12:37 PM]

Thanks for your story- that's aweful being in hospital Christmas Eve!

Did you feel, like I do now, that even though you were grieving you had to try again straight away? I feel like I have this need to be pregnant you know?

Hayley, can I also ask if they gave you any reason for your ectopic? I was not in any risk group for it and they say my left tube looks fine. Either it was atotal fluke with me or I was just born with one dodgy tube

Hi broxi im posting this to you with tons of pma i have tried for 10years had 3mcs 1 late one and an ectopic with right salpingectomy,i adopted 2 kids as was told very unlikely id ever conceive but am now 6 months pregnant and am as well as any of the other women on ere am due end of january!
It wasnt expected and took a few years after my ectopic but just wanted to give you hope hun.
Wishing you and all the other ladies trying all the luck in the world!!!
Claire.xxx.

Hay Broxi,

I counted the 3 months from the day I had my injection, I dont think its a exact deadline to be honest, they just want to be sure the MTX is out of your system.
I did take folic acid when we started ttc again, but be sure to wait the 3 months before you start as I dont think it mixes well with the MTX as they had to wait 48hrs after I had taken my last dose of folic acid before they could give me the MTX.
I think the fact that you can start ttc again the day before your anniversary is definatly a good omen! Maybe try and do somthing special so you can both relax!

I will definatly let you know how I am getting on, and same with you. If you have any questions or just need a rant or cheering up I am always about!
Take care
Naomi xx

Hi,

In answer to your questions, no I was never given a reason for the ectopic. I was just told it was one of those things. There was nothing wrong with my tube. Kind of wish there had been a reason as it just left me feeling as if I might have done something wrong. Was left wondering things like should I not have had that glass of wine or lifted heavy things? Stupid really as nothing could have prevented it, and I don't know if a reason would have made me feel better or not. And yes, I did feel like I wanted to start trying straight away, even though the docs told me to wait at least one cycle (for dating I think more than anything). But, again, I was left feeling, if I hadn't been so stubborn and just been patient maybe I wouldn't have had the miscarriage straight after. I really think I should have waited for my body to recover. For that reason, I think you having to wait a bit to try is not necessarily a bad thing. Like I said before, if you're healthy, it's a much better position to be in to conceive and hang on to the pregnancy. I hope that helps. Unfortunately it's all about patience- something I know I had very very little of when trying to have a baby! But it was well worth the wait- and I only have one tube!!!
Good luck and baby dust to you all.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx