Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
09/10/2012 at 19:00
I'm new on here - but wanted to share and get some support regarding my situation in the hope that I can post something positive back in return!
I was taken into hospital last Sunday at 28w + 2, at around 9am - not thinking for a second that I would have had my baby boy at 6.10pm that evening. Sadly on Monday night we were called at just after midnight and asked to come to the hospital, even though he was doing well and was 2lb 9.8oz and pink/looking strong - he had a bleed that they did not expect and he passed away in our arms at 4.38am on Tuesday morning.
It has taken me a long time to even want a baby, I've always been pretty anti babies - but now that I've been able to hold my baby I know that we have to try again - I know that its the right thing to do and I just wanted to see how quickly everyone tried again after they went through this horrible time?
I dont want to forget my baby, and I dont want to replace him - if anything, he's given me more in the 2 days that we go to spend with him than I could ever have imagined - he's stopped me feeling scared/nervous to hold a baby, which I did before he was here and he's made me maternal, and again that was something that I kind of struggled with. But what I do want, is to be able to have the same feeling again, that I did when I held him for the first time.
My midwife has told me to wait for a minimum of 3 periods. She has also told me about the cervical stitch that I've seen mentioned on here, just in case I have a weak cervix. There are other options, but we havent fully discussed all as I have another appointment tomorrow with the bereavement midwife to talk things through.
What did you all do for waiting to TTC again?
And I dont want to be terrified the whole way through the pg - but not sure how I'll get through the time without it playing on my mind constantly. How do you cope wiht such a stress....something I dont want to put onto our unborn baby.
I'm also not looking forward to going back to work as I'll need to tell loads of people externally why I'm back. Most of my colleagues know, and they have been amazing - its not that part I'm worried about. So many things running through my head, just can't believe it's happened to me.
I'm coping fairly well at the moment, I really dont know where the strength is coming from but I know the funeral is going to be horrible, and I'm dreading Christmas as he was due on 21st December.....I'm lucky to have amazing friends, family and my husband to keep me sane.
Any kind of advice you could give me would be wonderful.
Thanks for listening, and sorry for the long first post.
09/10/2012 at 20:53
10/10/2012 at 09:46
Thanks Froggy123. My husband and I have spoken and he feels the exact same as I do with wanting to try again straight away. I will listen to the doctor / midwife as I want to give our 2nd baby all the chance in the world to have a better chance of making into our world for longer than Dexter did. I will do whatever it takes and whatever they want me to, that is a given.
I'll never forget my wee guy for sure, he was with me for way more than the 2 days in the outside world - and he gave me a good few scares before he made his appearance, all that will never leave me, but he also made me smile lots - even when he kept me awake kicking all night.
We're speaking to the bereavement midwife today to start making arrangements for Dexter's funeral, and I think that will help me as I'm feeling bit in limbo which is making me feel frustrated and like I can't move forward until we sort this part out.
I hope that I am blessed with the same luck of conceiving this time round, as we were only trying for a short time the first time.
I'd like to update my journey on here to hopefully share some good news with everyone at some point.
16/10/2012 at 08:54
31/10/2012 at 10:20
Feels like so long ago that I posted on here - and hadnt even realised that you'd responded, so sorry.
Dexter's funeral has came and went - a hard day but it was a lovely as it could be
With regards to my midwife - she wanted me to have 2 or 3 periods to make sure everything was working the way it should and to give me time to recover from the birth, get some folic acid into me and just generally feel better and be in a better condition to hopefully carry to full term next time round.
I have my consultants meeting today at 2pm, but not really sure what I should be asking but hope that she'll be able to give me good advice as to where we go next.
I feel stronger every day, and don't feel down most of the time - going back to work on Tuesday will give me a focus as I'm wasting my days at home, I'd rather be at work and appreciating the time at home with my husband, just now I'm fed up of being here whilst he's back at work (went back part time this week)
I think for ttc - you and I just have to take it each day as it comes, if we're lucky enough to fall pregnant again lets keep everything crossed for each other that we get a lucky break soon.
20/12/2012 at 20:50
I just wanted to update - tomorrow is the wee man's due date, and I'm pleased to say that he's sent me my rainbow baby - I'm 5 weeks pregnant, terrified, excited, sad and every other emotion that you can imagine. We'll mark his day by letting off chinese lanterns on the beach tomorrow after we've visited him in the morning.
There's not a day that goes by that I dont think of him.
I'm in shock that we've fallen pg the first month of trying (was told by mw we could try after one period after she initially said 3) - lets hope this little bean sticks around long enough for him/her to be ready to face this big bad world.
To all that have gone through the heartache that I have found myself in - there is hope for us all - and lets pray for this little bean to come home with me at the end of August
30/10/2014 at 16:57
Hello, having been through my own heartache recently and having read this thread I would really like to hear from you? how did your pregnancy go? how is life now? I hope you had your happy ending.
30/10/2014 at 20:05
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