Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
16/08/2011 at 07:29
16/08/2011 at 14:48
16/08/2011 at 16:51
19/08/2011 at 06:09
25/08/2011 at 14:43
27/08/2011 at 06:04
27/08/2011 at 09:48
18/03/2014 at 11:14
30/03/2014 at 17:03
Cas, you made me smile when I read this! Bless you!
I know it sounds patronising but you are still so young! Being young and enjoying life isn't just about going on nights out (god knows I'm not one for going out every Friday and Saturday, like you say you're not either) but about having the ultimate freedom to do tamer things, like to go out for food whenever you want, go away for a weekend with a minute's notice, go to the cinema on a whim, go to a spa with a friend, spend a little extra on clothes, have sex wherever you want in the house, lol! I got married at 24 and we were married over 5 years before we decided to ttc - I honestly would not have had it any other way! So many of my friends conceived within a year of being married/moving in with OHs, but we've had a freedom that is unrivalled (and that they envied a LOT, lol!)!
The best thing is, is that you could have a good 3 years of literally doing what you want, getting your place, doing it up, etc etc and STILL have a family at a young age Just don't rush into the decision (although I realise broodiness can be a hard urge to resist!). It's not that children restrict you or that they ruin life, but it requires a complete life change - make the most of life and live both Freedom, then the beauty of kids! You sound so much like you've got your head screwed one, looking at things like maternity pay, etc, which sounds inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but can make all the difference.
But yet if it's desperately what you want and you feel like you can provide for a child and be able to give them a good life, why not?!
Congratulations on your new job, btw.
Wishing you all the best!
PS.This isn't meant to be against all those who start families really young! Everyone has their own path by choice, others get plunged into having a family unexpectedly - I'm not for one minute suggesting anyone like that is missing out! Far from it. I'm just offering the point of view of someone who didn't start young. (((I wish I'd had 3-4 years of marriage then started ttc, rather than 5-6 - I've got PCOS (which to be fair, I've known about for years) and starting aged 27 might have been easier....but it's easy to say that with the gift of hindsight, isn't it!)))
31/03/2014 at 09:27
08/08/2014 at 20:05
08/08/2014 at 20:15
26/08/2014 at 12:16
MissK, don't worry, people can still read it!
Statutory maternity is available but it's pretty crappy - it's only just over £400 a month, so if it were that alone, I'd be losing out on £1300 a month!!! Her employer might offer her maternity pay in addition to statutory, which often pays full pay for 5 weeks, then onto half pay, which makes a massive difference.
Good luck with your situation - just because your boyfriend doesn't want to try now, doesn't mean he'll never want to. Just give him time - my husband felt exactly the same and it wasn't up to me to make him want a baby. Eventually, after a lot of talking, he decided it'd be ok to try in 6 months. Just a shame for us that I have all sorts of complications - he's gained another 18 months of freedom from babies... hehe!
Good luck xx
26/09/2014 at 16:08
Me and my hubby are thinking of ttc, we are just so worried about the money side of it. He is leaving his job soon and my contract is coming to an end, so we will both be on new pays, but less than now, so we are worried that adding a baby into the mix is not going to be do-able.
But I keep having dreams where we have twin boys and as we both have twins in our family, part of me just wants to bin the pill and get starting on our family.... if only we weren't so sensible!!
I'm even considering doing a course in cake decorating so I can earn some extra money! A baby would just complete us.
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