I'm on cd 11 on my cbfm and I know that my high days are approaching and I'm feeling petrified... Why do I feel so scared.... I'm so despirate to do it and i'm terrified that I won't... I just think I'm putting so much pressure on myself and I don't have any one to really talk to as in trying to keep ttc quite low key with Hubby coz the last thing I need is to make him feel like he has to perform bless him....I think il feel better once I'm in the 2ww as I will know il have done everything I can but I just can't shake the feeling of being a failure... I'm really sorry girls if iv brought a downer on things it's just really hard... Me and my hubmeister have had our baby names chosen since we were 14.... I just want to sob.:cry:
Hi Melissa, don't feel scared hun, I know it's such a lot of pressure, knowing there is such a short window but you need lots of positive thinking - and at the end of the day see TTC as a fun time for you both!! I don't know how long you've been trying, but it's really important not too put too much stress on yourself as it isn't good for conception (not easy I know!).
Your right and I do try and keep it fun and chilled out... We've never really been that careful in 9 years but we have been properly trying since the wedding at Xmas 07.... This is my 1st real month of cbfm as the last one was kind of a tester.... I just think iv been thinking about this a lot.... Phew.... I just need to breath.
Hi hun, it's so hard this TTC malaki! Im the same as you, trying my hardest not to put too much preassere on myself anf hubby as I don't want to take fun out of BD and don't want to make hubby feel he has to perform on cue lol!
This month I've decided to use a ovulation kit and also invested in some nice new underwear to treat hubby too! Lets just hope it works.
xxx
swit swoo missy!! ;\)
I can so understand how you get scared after months of BFN's it must feel like here we go again, but you know it will be soo worth it in the end.
that is so sweet you have you baby names chosen since you were 14!! bless you you've been trying a while havnt you :cry: it will happen one day & are you joking me OH gettin bored of that body - you nutter!!
KJxx
Your so kind kj!...... It's heartbreaking every month when you see af arrive and know that youv failed... I take such solace from BE because it opens my eyes and shows me I'm not the only one having difficulties....my papa said oh sguger plum don't dispair you can have ivf as many times as it takes ... Cost no object but I fontvwant it to come to that.... I want it to be natural .... Oh I don't want to dwell.... What's your story????? Xxxx
Sorry to hear that you are scared. My sister (who doesn't know I'm starting to try) has been TTC for ages now, and she confides in me how upsetting it is, and how much pressure it puts on her. It sucks the fun out of the whole process of trying, and this in and of itself doesn't help her chances of conception. In some ways she feels like the actual ovulation week is harder emotionally then expecting and getting her period, so it seems like its very natural to feel stressed by this.
Now, having said all this, you are you because of all the experiences you have had in your life, and to some extent, from your genes. You seem like a lovely person, so whatever bought you to being 'you' was a good thing. If you had been conceived a month earlier, it would have been a different sperm and a different egg, and a different you. Would you have the same life you do now?
Now, think about your future babies, and all the things that will happen to them to make them who they are. Who knows which month will provide the right conditions to give your first child the best start in life, and if you don't get your BFP this month, maybe it just isn't this one.
One day you will conceive, and you and your husband will have those children you have existed in your own inner worlds for so long. You have built up love for these children since the name was picked. Allow yourself to consider the time you spend waiting to conceive more time to build on that love, for both the children, your husband and yourself.
Life isn't a test, and each month isn't an exam that you can only pass by getting a blue line in that window. You just go on the the next experience, and the next 'chance' to meet your blissful baby. Remember, at least half of his/her DNA is already packaged up and ready to go inside you, so she/he is real. Keep loving him/her and your hubby, and you'll all get to meet one day.
X O X
Ps. Sorry if I sound ever so tree-huggy, but I feel real pain when I see my sister going through this, and I wish I could help her and by that, any other person going through the same thing.
Hi ladies,
Adelicia that is a lovely post and has certainly made me feel much better.
Melissa - I really hope it happens for you. Please don't be scared!
xx
That's a real lift! .... Thank you sweety I really appreciate that you took the time to respond to my post and give me your words if advice... I have actually been counting my blessings of late and I do appreciate my life... I realise I am a lucky girl who is blessed in so many ways... I am healthy... I have amazing friends and family and I want for nothing ... Except the obvious of course.... So thank you for you post.... I haven't thought that the baby already excists before and it's s real comforting way if thinking about it...... I think if you were to confide in your sister that you were trying to concieve too you could really proove to be a real support to each other.... I do have a coligue who is ttc too but she is having the weight problems that I had a while ago so I'm supporting her through that and she benefits from my knowledge of how to gain weight correctly ... Once she is on track with her healthy bmi like me then il hopefully have some one to chat to about all this properly..... But untill then I still have you guys... Thanx again!!!!
Sorry 2 hear u r feeling like this hunny but its understandable!! This TTC game is certainly not an easy one!! Keep up that PMA and u WILL get that much wanted BFP soon!! Good luck xxxx
Thanks sweety.... I'm just waiting for my peaks now.... I hope I get them!!!!...... I'm feeling a bit better today.....I think pma is the key!!!!