Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
04/02/2014 at 10:08
I tested BFN today at 12dpo, so looks like we're out for yet another month. I'm feeling really frustrated, sad and generally pissed off today. I could scream. Why is it so hard? I will get my 21 day blood test results tomorrow, hoping to get a docs appt friday morning to discuss them and any next steps. I just feel like I'm broken :(
18 months TTC and 2 losses. I'm about ready to just give up.
04/02/2014 at 10:32
Oh rod, I have been thinking about you recently wondering how you are getting on (in what hopefully didnt sound like a stalker way lol). Maybe talking about future steps will help you feel less in limbo about things. Please keep talking here, there are many people who have been in your situation who will hopefully come along soon and give you some good advice.
04/02/2014 at 10:33
Hugs lovely xxxxx
04/02/2014 at 10:37
I just dont know how to feel. I keep being told to relax and stay positive but thats VERY difficult to maintain!
I just feel rotten today.
Oh Rod, have the most enormous hug. I wish I had the words to say that would make it all ok but there are none. TTC is blooming hard and the worst emotional rollercoaster there is. It is ok to have the down days like you are today: my advice would be to be kind to yourself right now and if you need to hide under the duvet, eat cake or do whatever it is to comfort yourself, just do it and don't beat yourself up about it. If you're right and this hasn't been your month, the emotions you're feeling will be being magnified by PMT which makes everything look even worse. You will keep going, and you will start to feel better and give it another try next month but for now just look after yourself.
From somebody who is a year down the line from you and has been exactly where you are so many times xx
04/02/2014 at 10:57
Oh Rod I'm sorry your feeling like this. I know how you feel about being broken, I got so frustrated with my body not doing what seems so sensible. I'm hoping that the gp can offer some help. Do you think taking a break from ttc would help? I have enforced breaks when navy boy deploys and find I can sort my head out a little bit xx
04/02/2014 at 11:03
I dont want to take a break from TTC. I want to get pregnant, and taking a break wont help with that.
I want it to work. Thats all. Not too much to ask is it?
I hate this.
04/02/2014 at 11:04
Oh Rod, I'm sorry that you're feeling so low. The bloods really are good progress though, hopefully they will provide some answers and allow you to move forward to a BFP.
04/02/2014 at 11:05
I don't think I could have voluntarily taken a break, it felt like wasted months!
No, your not asking to much lovely. Life is just so sh1tty at times xxx
04/02/2014 at 11:08
I will be fine. I'm just not at the moment. I will carry on because thats all I can do. I just WISH it was different.
04/02/2014 at 11:09
I am sorry to read that you're feeling so low, I don't blame you for not taking a break it would feel like I am wasting time and you prob know by now your cycles, I hope that the GP will be able to offer you some support, have a really inadequate hug!
04/02/2014 at 11:15
thanks. I dont know what would be worse, the gp finding an issue or not finding anything wrong. at least if I'm broken it gives some reasoning behind this.
04/02/2014 at 11:19
Oh sweetheart :(, I would be the exact same, but wouldn't it be easier to find an issue and it can be fixed? to not having a reason and then you continue in the position you are?
04/02/2014 at 11:22
Rod I'm so so sorry that you are feeling this way. I hope to god that you get some answers on Friday. In answer to your last question, when we were undergoing our fertility investigations, I often said that I don't think I could handle being told that "everything looks fine" as it was I had tubal damage and I found that comforting in a way. At least I had a reason why I wasn't falling pregnant. You are such a strong person, you're still here, after everthing, wanting to get cracking and I know with all my heart that your time will come. It just may take a bit more time and maybe some more tests but I strongly believe that it will happen for you Rodders. xxxx
04/02/2014 at 11:31
I'm so sorry about the BFN. It's cruel and harsh and unfair. Being sad and angry is your entitlement (I think I'd have to be restrained from punching anyone who said relax and be positive). I think I would also want information and an answer, something to explain why it's happening and that can be worked on. So I hope you get some on Friday.
04/02/2014 at 11:33
Oh rod, there's not much i can say to make you feel better but I know exactly how you feel hun, I have been there before and it's horrible. But you will feel better, things will get better even if right now it feels like they never will. Have some massive hugs xxx
04/02/2014 at 11:39
Thanks everyone. I'm just on a downer today. I appreciate the hugs and love I really do xxx
04/02/2014 at 12:55
Sending a big squeeze your way rod x
04/02/2014 at 14:02
Just popping back on while I eat my lunch to see how you're doing. As others have said, getting bloods done is a start and for me that was an important step in feeling like I had some control. It was only a little thing but at least I was doing something. For us all the tests came back normal so there is nothing to fix. And that sucks. Because I can't do anything about it yet my body just won't do the one thing it is supposedly designed to do which is fall pregnant. Bizarrely being referred for the tests also made me feel a bit better because again I was doing "something". I'm sharing this to offer a way I found to get through it all because I can empathise with your hurt and anger and total frustration at a crap situation. But that's for you to consider another day, for now just look after yourself for today. Either wallow alone if that helps or get a good mate round to slob out with. More hugs coming your way xx
04/02/2014 at 14:24
KittyKat if you dont mind me asking, what is the next step? After the 21 day bloods what did they say to you? Did they send you for any other tests? I'm not sure what to expect either way.
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