Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
07/01/2015 at 14:50
Hi there and Happy New Year to you all!
Some of you may know me from Baby Expert, I have a little boy who will be 4 in July, and we fell pregnant last year after trying not too long but sadly suffered a full miscarriage on the morning of our first scan in hospital.
I am just going through the grieving process now, I think at the time with having our little one at home etc I stayed strong for both him and my Husband, who was really suffering at the time and still cannot talk about it in great detail now...
We did say in October that we would stop and not try again, having gone through such an ordeal etc, and we were blessed enough with one child and should be grateful we are so lucky to have him.
However, after some time has passed esp for me, I find both my heart and my body craving a baby once again. I myself am an only child, and would hate for our son to feel at times as lonely as I did, and left out, as like me, his cousins are a big group. I have lost both my parents to Cancer, in 2007 and 2013, so have faced plenty of heartache in my 33 years so far!!
Any advice from any other mums who have been in a similar position? Did you find it nervewracking discovering you were pregnant again? Any tips? Also, did you find the care you got was better this time around, and were you given more checkups and scans etc?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and any feedback will be gratefully received.
Fingers crossed for BFPS for us all someday, and happy, healthy pregnancies all round!
07/01/2015 at 17:40
Hi alfiesmummy1, I remember you well from Baby Expert and am so glad you found us over here on MadeForMums.
I wanted to reply to you, as your very sad experience rings a bell with me. My first pregnancy was perfect - I think I was quite naive as the thought of miscarriage never, ever once occurred to me. I sailed through and now have a five year old girl.
Then my husband and I decided to try again and fell pregnant quite fast. I was 8 weeks, and thinking to myself, something doesn't feel right. I put it out of my mind, and a few weeks later, started bleeding. It was a MMC.
I know from reading about what you went through, your MC was horrendous - mine was 'tidy'. I went in, had a D&C, it was over. Apart from the sadness and emotions that come with losing a baby and the grieving. But like you, I wanted more than one child. My husband was happy to stop (he really didn't want another), but for me, I just always felt one child was not enough, and again, I was craving a baby - body and soul.
We fell pregnant a while later. The paranoia was insane. I couldn't shake the thoughts of the miscarriage. Every ache, every pain, every twinge. I was 5 weeks gone, and having intense sporadic pains, so went to the GP who gave me the worst advice ('just go to the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital with this letter and demand they see you') which I did, and of course, they shook their heads. Kind of 'you can't just rock up here for an appointment!' But they made me one, and it was twins.
I still couldn't relax at all - the constant fear of panic. But then I had to remind myself, I'd had a perfect first time pregnancy, I could and would do it again. At our 12 week scan, only one twin had developed, the other never made it past a few weeks. Heartbreak again and the confusion - you have one, you lost the other. My head was all over the place. The hospital were fantastic though and monitored me very closely. I was taken extra special care of.Sorry i'm blathering now, but I want to say this: Something awful has happened to you. It takes time to heal, but you have your lovely boy - you can do it again. Course it'll be scary, and tense, and harsh, but i've got two awesome girls (the baby is actually a bleeding nightmare sometimes!!!) but I made it - you can too. x
ps my best friend miscarried 2 weeks before me - she now has two boys and is 20 weeks with another! Sending good vibes.
07/01/2015 at 19:19
Hi alfie's mummy.... Good to see you on here. Im sorry that your family is still going through the grieving process... That is such an awful time! I remember asking people when i would be able to think about my babies (i've had 2 miscarriages & no other children yet) without crying. Every now & then i still all of a sudden just have a little cry but i promise you it does get easier... You do start to feel stronger.
my first miscarriage was a horrendous experience... Mmc diagnosed at 9 weeks, docs made me wait to try & miscarry naturally but nothing happened so given medication at 101/2 weeks which brought on full labour pain contractions & severe bleeding resulting in an ER visit. Then had to retake the meds a week later as my hcg had not gone completely. All this happened the same week my husband got hit by a car! Man oh man.
so following that we got pregnant again on my second post miscarriage cycle (shocked at the speed but very happy!) but of course i was SO scared... Every twinge I worried, every time i went to the loo I was knicker checking. I had a tiny bit of spotting at 6 weeks so went to the ER. early scan showed baby all good & saw heartbeat. Then went to my OB who did another scan at 8 weeks... Baby had progressed perfectly (growth spot on & heartrate had increased perfectly) & i was basically told to stop worrying as everything looked fine. My OB was not at all concerned about the previous mc as they say 1 is so common so i didnt get any extra tests etc. i cried my eyes out in the scan room that day as they put the sound on so i actually heard my baby's heartbeat & then with their reassurance I really started to get happy & believe this was it. I stopped worrying & started to cherish my little bean. But then at 91/2 weeks I had a massive bleed all of a sudden. Scan at the hospital showed that baby had only just died (measured 9 weeks exactly). The hospital staff & my doctors were great & so supportive although at the time I was just too devastated to take it all in. Had a d & c a few days later which was much less traumatic & much less painful.
that was last june. My cycles returned in August but we did not conceive that month (likely an annovulatory cycle as i had that after my first mc too). Then at the beginning of september my husband went on deployment for 4 months to afghanistan!. That was really tough as like both of you have saId... After a mc your body just yearns for a baby so badly.. But there was nothing I could do about it! I did though have a great spevialist pregnancy doctor take care of me during this time who ran lots of tests to check everything was ok... Which it is so it looks like it was just super sh**y bad luck for us. He also prescribed me progesterone supplements... There's not many large scal studies to prove its effectiveness yet at preventing mc but there is lots of anicdotal evidence & my doctor said it does no harm to use it... It also really helped me as it feels like I'm doing 'something' to hopefully have a good outcome next time.
i think third time round the doctors definitely seem like they'll take better care of me... I have been told to go to my specialist as soon as I get my bfp so he can run all the tests he wants to & then only on e he can be sure (after first trimester) that things are going well will he transfer me back to my regular OB.
So... Hubby came home last tuesday... & perfect timing I O'd on friday!! :).... & of course having not seen each other for 4 months meant we did not miss a single opportunity last week! Lol :). So now I'm back in the dreaded tww!
whenever it does happen for us again I'm sure I will be very scared until i get way far into the pregnancy (if i ever manage that!)... Which I know will 'rob' me of the excitement in those early days.
07/01/2015 at 19:23
...but the thought of living my life without children in it is much worse... So we do what we must.
wishing you lots of luck & strength alfiesmummy in the times ahead & hoping we both get our rainbow babies soon x
08/01/2015 at 09:25
Hi Danielle - yes I tracked you all down again, hooray!
Thank you for replying to me, and your words really helped and made sense. We have been talking about it again and, at some point in the not so distant future, we are going to see about trying again for baby number two.
I will of course, as always, keep you updated on here, and support the other ladies as per!
SW2 - your story is both heartbreaking and yet full of positivity and hope! I am keeping everything crossed for you both, that you finally get your little rainbow baby. Do keep us up to date and we can all support each other no matter what happens, we are always here to talk to!!
Big hugs all round, and thanks once again to you both for taking the time to reply and tell me your stories and messages too, they mean so much!
08/01/2015 at 11:06
Alfiesmummy1 and SW2, can't tell you how much we wish you both BFP's this year - and sticky beans too. There is always hope as long as we don't give up on it! Positive thoughts, as tough as it is. We're so glad to have you ladies here x
08/01/2015 at 12:37
After reading everyones story and all the other forums on ttc after miscarriage I thought I would add my own comment.We fell pregnant in September after 1 week of ttc. I had only had the nexplanon implant removed and by my dates had conceived 1 week after removal so we were very shocked and delighted when we got bfp.I didn't really have a lot of symptoms no nausea at all but my mum had advised she never had any with me or my other siblings. We had scan on 27th November at 10 weeks. seen the Midwife first and she confirmed a viable pregnancy but when we seen the Consultant he advised scan was showing no HB and i was measuring 6 + 4days. We were told to prepare for the worst and to come back in 2 weeks for another scan incase we had got our dates wrong. We were devasted, after 2 very long weeks of tears and sleepless nights we returned to hospital on 9th Dec and the consultant confirmed we had a missed miscarriage. I had a feeling it would be that as the night before i had some brown spotting. it was strange as when the MMC was confirmed i felt a huge weight had been lifted and we could eventually move on. I had ERPC the next day as i was 12 weeks and baby had died at 6 so Docs advised it would take a long time to miscarry myself. I got my AF today, 4 weeks after ERPC and was so delighted and relieved to get it. Its quite heavy which i was advised it would be. Cant wait now to try again as my body is returning back to normal. My MMC was my first pregnancy so im hoping it was a blip and a one off and very positive about the future. has anyone else had any problems since getting implant out? thanks and good luck to all TTC x
07/02/2015 at 13:19
Hey alfiesmummy... How are you doing now?
Well you asked that we keep you updated so wanted to let you know that I am pregnant again... Happened the week my hubs got home & I am now 7 weeks. Had a scan at 6 weeks which showed heartbeat & i have another scan on friday when i'll be exactly 8 weeks. As predicted I am scared! I am living for scan days... all i can think about when i wake up each day is how mich longer until scan day! Hoping & praying this little one makes it & i'll finally be able to snuggle my baby in my arms.
09/02/2015 at 09:56
Hi Alfiesmummy, how are things going with you? i too have got a BFP. praying and wishing for a sticky bean. im only 4+5 so fingers crossed its smooth sailing from here.
Baby dust and prayers to all xx
17/02/2015 at 15:23
Hi there all, so sorry I haven't seen a notification for these replies!!
I am good thank you, we have been talking about it more, and at some point in the not so distant future, we are going to start trying again
Advice might be needed now.....! I was due on my period on Friday, and I am now still waiting for my period - I haven't stopped my mini pill yet but I have been very late in taking a few of them, due to being out of the house for family events etc. Could it be that I could be expecting, or is it just one of those odd times that I will be very late?
Has anyone else had this? I have cramping in my tummy and right hand side, am very tired, emotional etc etc, all the usual symptoms (for periods and pregnancy alike!) I am just concerned that I am alright, that nothing is happening to me??
Being impatient I went and got a cheap Sainsburys test earlier, but it came up as Negative. I got a two pack so if I have tested too early, I will test again next week if no show still.
Congratulations on your lovely news both of you!!!! Hope that it is smooth sailing for all
17/02/2015 at 15:38
Hi alfiesmummy... Yes I would say test again in a few days if AF doesn't show as you def shouldn't be late if your pill has been working correctly! Keep us posted!
17/02/2015 at 15:46
Thanks hun, I deffo will as I want to know what is going on either way!! x
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