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Trying to conceive
18/06/2013 at 13:50
My H is very laid back about TTC, and wants to just 'see what happens' I vary between agreeing with him and deciding I will stop tracking etc to thinking 'No! I'm going to buy OPKs and a thermometer'!!
I want to know what you guys think is best? I suppose what we're doing at the moment works (as it worked last time!) which is not using opks etc but i track my periods on Mydays and look out for EWCM - but I never actually tell H when its 'time' cos I dont want him to feel under pressure.... What works for you?
18/06/2013 at 13:55
I'm the same as you Rod. I track my periods (and will shortly start using my CBFM) but I never tell H when it's 'time'. I don't think he would perform well under the pressure!
18/06/2013 at 14:00
Its frustrating sometimes as I want him to know so I dont end up feeling like i'm pushing him for sex! He always knows when its time cos I instigate it more often!!
18/06/2013 at 14:10
I would have to track because I be gutted to miss an opportunity. But maybe that is because I've never had an opportunity as I don't ovulate, if I knew one was imminent, I would do EVERYTHING to make sure we dtd at the right time.
I guess it comes down to how often you have sex. If you have it at least 4 times a week (not all on the same day!) then you'd be covered whether track or not. If you regularly go more than 3 days without dtd, then tracking maximises your chances no end.
Falling pregnant is all about luck, so I would definitely control the parts I could to work luck in our favour.
18/06/2013 at 14:28
I don't think my H stops to think about it tbh. He doesn't pay enough attention to my cycles to cotton on and enjoys the extra sex when it's offered to him! I couldn't not keep track. I know too much to switch off from it all now even if I wanted to.
18/06/2013 at 14:29
I understand totally where you are coming from Rod. I prefer to track, although I rarely tell my H much about it. A) because he doesn't understand it all and B) The pressure thing.
At least with OPK's and temping you can see that you are definitely Ov'ing and give yourselves the best chance.
18/06/2013 at 14:47
im like Ducky, its such a rare occassion for me i have to make sure we dont miss it, if i knew every 28-30 days it was definatley going to happen i would be more inclined to relax a bit i think !
18/06/2013 at 14:53
I suppose it depends on your situation, I can see where you are coming from Ducky and Monnie. I suppose I am an old romantic and dont want TTC to become too scientific, but at the same time I do want a baby!
18/06/2013 at 14:58
Maybe just do OPKs for one month and see if you are ovulating when you think you are (by tracking your EWCM). Whilst the two normally go hand in hand, it isn't unheard of for Ov to happen a few days either side. You could be completely missing it!
If your OPKs and EWCM all point to the same day, then you know you were doing everything right to begin with, so can ditch the OPKs and carry on as normal.
We tracked, as were on a "time limit" to TTC before H went away again - as it happened we didn't need to as TTC was within ten days of returning from tour, but i'm glad we did it that way. x
18/06/2013 at 14:59
This is exactly my plan Ducky, hence the CBDM. I just want to know for certain instead of guessing all the time.
18/06/2013 at 15:00
I do understand the romantic idea though. If I knew I could say to myself 'oh well, we will do it at the right time next month' then Id probably a whole lot more chilled about it, as I knew we'd get another go in a couple of weeks.
I'm probably not the best person to comment as we have been waiting over 2 years for our first go at something that might have a chance of working.
18/06/2013 at 15:05
Different ways work for different people. There wouldn't be any harm in trying OPKs for a month and track it alongside EWCM etc.
As Ducky said, the most you can do is have sex at the right time. The rest is luck.
If you need any help with OPKs, temping, charting etc just shout as it can all get quite confusing.
I'm in your boat just now Rod. I'd like it to just happen without extra effort but I don't know how long that would take so instead I maximise my chances as much as possible by doing OPKs.
18/06/2013 at 15:19
We had intended just to see how it goes but it soon became apparent that my body wasn't co-operating. My random erratic cycles mean I have to track now to ever have a chance :(
18/06/2013 at 18:11
I track my cycles as I want to maximaise our chances, time isn't on our side. I'd also track a bit anyhow as I like to know when to expect. I've used OPK's but prefer temping. H is a scientist anyhow so he prefers to use scientific methods like temping. Intially I kept it from him but then decided that we are in this together so now we talk about it and I show him the chart so he can see when we need to DTD. I think it's imporatnt we are both in the know. I appreciate it can be more stressful to 'know' as it's more pressure but after a year, to be honest the whole thing can be pressured so the more informed we are the better really.
18/06/2013 at 18:29
I like to chart. Once i decide i want something then i want it quickly. TTC isn't like that and so i like to do all i can to help towards it. Also i'm a scientist so i already know a fair bit that i think most people have to research. I'm guess i'm lucky that i haven't had to wait long for a BFP but i have experienced loss on m ore than one occasion. I think because of my history with early pregnancy and how i know only too well how little control over it, i like to control the getting there as much as possible. I tell H whats going on, although not as much detail as EWCM (!), as i think we should be in it together and he likes to be involved too.
Some people prefer the relaxed approach. You have to go with what makes you comfortable.
19/06/2013 at 07:28
With L and W I went with the flow looked for ECM, with W I used opks as we had a non sleeping toddler so dtding was a bit harder, with Isaac and the 2 mcs I did the belt and braces approach and threw everything at it as after the losses I HAD to be pregnant iyswim I had to feel I was doing something
Mine had no idea I was doing anything until one day (a while after bop) I explained what the 'x's meant on the calendar in th kitchen...
19/06/2013 at 09:24
I dont do temperatures or anything - I could never get on to way of it.
I kinda 'know' now when ovulating / around ovulation - I feel it & ECWM is plenty.
Not that its getting us anywhere but I just cant bring myself to go down that route - I think it would be heartbreaking for me / us but I can understand why for some its a necessity.
19/06/2013 at 11:17
Personally I don't believe in not trying not to. If you are having unprotected sex then you are trying. Even if you don't temp/OPK/whatever, you will still at some point in the 2WW wonder if you have caught and potentially symptom spot.
For me, temping isn't about timing sex, it's about confirming ovulation. Also, as it gets closer to the end of the 2WW, I can see my temperature start to drop and know that we've been unsuccessful...this means that I spend less time wondering and less money on tests
Rod lovely - do whatever keeps you sane
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