Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
12/11/2014 at 11:02
12/11/2014 at 11:03
Sorry I'm posting from my phone there were paragraphs when I wrote that!
12/11/2014 at 11:21
LuLu - I think it may be worth you having a HSG just to be sure that the dye is coming out both ends. They'll do one anyway even if you are referred for IVF, one positive is they couldn't see any nasty fluid which is great news. You sound in good spirits though and I am really pleased that your bloods and H's SA came back ok. It's also lovey to hear that you are feeling inspired by some of us DTC'ers who have been fortunate with IVF. It's such a daunting prospect to think you might need to go down that path but I just looked at it in the way that it was helping me fulfil our dreams of becoming parents. Wishing you all the very best over the next few months LuLu and of course I hope it happen naturally for you but if it's not to be then you will be in good hands. xx
12/11/2014 at 13:17
Hi Lulu - good to hear your bloods and husbands SA came back fine. Sorry you didn't get full answers following your hycosy though. You do seem positive though which is lovely.
I'm enjoying Masterchef - Marcus is way better than I expected, I quite like him!
Hi Claire lovely - I do like seeing your ticker!
AFM - as I said in the other thread, just taking a laid back view this month, no opks etc. I tracked CD1 and we're just going for the every other day approach and see how we get on. Fingers crossed!
Still feeling a bit headachey, and now have swollen glands so I obviously have a bug of some sort going on. Not helped when people at work come in sick though - I don't want your germs!
Hope everyone else is well! xx
13/11/2014 at 09:37
Lulu - I'm glad you've got some answers. Personally I'd go for the lap, only because I'm the sort of person who wants the full story. Obviously only you can decide though so keep us posted.
Sally - good to hear you taking a relaxed approach. Weirdly I find that approach more stressful than tracking ovulation.
I'm not really enjoying masterchef, I finding Marcus a bit 'robotic' like he's got no emotions!
Ttc wise I'm cd25 and about 11 dpo. This will be my shortest cycle yet if af arrives over the weekend. I'm hoping this is a sign that my body is settling down.
I am also out of hospital and back home. Going to go back to work tomorrow for the morning as we are off for a relaxing weekend in the forest of Dean.
13/11/2014 at 11:53
Claire - I'm not sure about a hsg as the doctor didn't mention it, it was only when I googled I found out it can be more reliable. I'm going to think about it all more in the new year. I am feeling more positive that it can happen as you lovely ladies have shown that it can but I do feel sad to think we could still have a long and difficult journey ahead. I know where to come for advice on IVF though! Hope you are your bean are doing well x
Sally - I hope the laid back approach works! Sorry you've not been well.
Holey - I'm leaning more towards having the lap than the hsg and I think I would be more certain to get answers, will see how I feel about it all in the new year. Glad you are out of hospital now and feeling better, have a lovely weekend!
Tayto if you're lurking I hope you are ok.
Enjayee I hope your hsg goes well x
13/11/2014 at 13:34
I'm glad that your 21 day bloods and your H's SA came back ok and that the Hyscoy was able to give you some answers. I'm also glad that you are feeling positive.
SL - I'm with you on the laid back approach. we will be going for that next month. Fingers crossed for you
Holey - I'm glad that you are out of hospital and feelign a bit better. I'm with you on masterchef. I've been watching but just can't get into it.
Enjayee and Tatyo - I hope that you are both ok.
Dolly, CL and ST - I hope that the pregnancies are going well.
13/11/2014 at 13:35
Oh and AFM - AF is due next tuesday and my reorg at work announcement is next Wednesday. I've arranegd a but night our on Thursday as I think I'll need it.
14/11/2014 at 07:42
Lulu - good luck with whatever you decide, I hope you get answers either way.
Holey - glad you're out of hospital! Hope your body is settling down too.
SallyLou - I've found it so much easier just tracking CD1. I still do use OPKs but I don't look at what day I'm on, I just wait until the CM changes (TMI)
Peggs - tentative congrats again x
AFM - well, H got his results back yesterday, I posted in DTTC as I am 99% sure that's where I'll have to 'live' but in case you haven't seen it, the sperm quality isn't great. Count is low and the motility of the ones he does have are low. Neither of us properly understand the numbers so we don't know how low low is but the lab wrote a note at the end which said "this may be the problem of infertility and the patient should consider IVF" (not the best translation at all but it is along those lines). Apparently that's not the case in the UK where the lab writes things like that but maybe pretty standard in DK. Anyway, H went through the results with our GP and our GP thinks that it may have been a bit of a harsh thing to put, but the appointment on Tuesday with my fertility doctor will HOPEFULLY give us a plan of action. To be honest, I feel really nervous about it and also a little heartbroken - I know I shouldn't assume anything until Tuesday but at the moment I honestly don't think that we'll conceive naturally.
My husband feels fine about it (apparently) and I have spoken to him about how I feel, but he doesn't fully understand. We haven't argued but I don't think he quite gets what the woman has to go through in order to get our baby. I'm not asking for him to apologise or anything - that would be mad, it's not his fault - but an understanding ear wouldn't go amiss. Anyway. I'll have to bite my tongue over the weekend and wait for Tuesday. Which seems AGES away.
14/11/2014 at 07:51
Ah, also forgot to say. I wrote to a friend who had twins back in December - I found out a few months ago from a mutual friend that they had also had trouble conceiving. I didn't speak to her when I found out but I've been finding it tough at times so I wrote to her yesterday. Turns out it took them four years! They conceived via their first go at IVF. This may be a really really really stupid question, but how would it take four years? I mean, perhaps they didn't go to the doctor after a year, but it's been 14 months for us and we've already received a recommendation (of sorts) for IVF, I guess I'm just scared that it'll take us equally as long. I've just turned 34 and don't want to wait, I'm not very patient but I also don't want to go through this heartbreak anymore although I do know that there are ladies here who have been trying for just as long. I didn't ask details but could it be that they tried Clomid first or something? My bloods are fine and we'll find out what's up with me on Tuesday but I am anxiously curious. I'm kind of blaming myself too for not wanting to start trying earlier as we would know by now but there's no point in that so I'll try to stop. In any case, it was good to hear from her as I really miss her what with not living in the UK anymore. And she also gave me a lot of hope, the four year part aside.
Anyway on a non TTC note, I really like Masterchef! I pay for US Unblock so I can get the BBC programmes, although I have to download onto the desktop iPlayer first. Am really liking Marcus, he has a kind smile. Monica is still terrifying. Need to catch up on last night's one and then we'll catch up on tonight's one tomorrow. Am also loving the Apprentice too, I hate that wide boy James - screams Short Man Syndrome or what! I haven't watched last night's one yet though!
14/11/2014 at 09:13
Enjayee - I think the one thing you have to take from this is you have a reason now, you know why it's not been happening, I would rather know what the issue potentially is, rather than being told we don't know what's wrong just keep trying, I know ST will not mind me saying this, they found themselves in the unexplained fertility camp, resulting in having to wait 3 years for IVF referral, which is what could have happened to your friend with the twins. If that's the reason they make you wait in case it does happen naturally and sometimes that's not the case, so the fact that you are possibly being referred after just 14 months is really great news. (Going to look at your post in DTC now) xx
14/11/2014 at 09:16
Enjayee - just having a lurk and with regards to the 4 years, it may be the case that - like us - your friend wasn't offered actual fertility treatment until they'd been unsuccessful TTC with unexplained infertility for over 3 years. I would say though that as you're over 30 and it doesn't appear you'd fall into the unexplained category, if you were referred you would probably be referred straight away. Hope that helps x
Hello to the rest of you, miss you all xx
14/11/2014 at 10:38
Thank you both - I was a bit panicky earlier and I feel more relaxed after a long gym session where I could take out my anxiety on the treadmill and weights! Your posts have also helped me put at ease and Claire, I completely agree - at least we know there's at least one reason. I think 'heartbroken' was a bit of a dramatic word for me to use too, I think 'disappointed' is more the right term as I think we all dream of conceiving naturally. But despite the negativity and panic in my first post, I do feel positive about it. Of course I wish it didn't have to come to that but like you said in an earlier post Claire, it's just another way for us to become parents. I feel lucky that I live in 2014 and not 30 years ago where the probability of becoming a parent would have been bleak. So I'm going to keep telling myself that. Thanks again - sorry if I sounded ridiculous earlier! Xxx
14/11/2014 at 10:53
You didn't sound ridiculous at all! You have every right to feel disappointed. You feel a failure as a women when told you can't conceive, I remember battling with those thoughts when they told me that my tubes were buggered. Those thoughts don't last long, you'll soon have a plan in place and you're already sounding more positive! xx
14/11/2014 at 11:14
Hi holey - glad you're on the mend! Apart from on honeymoon I've used OPK's and I just couldn't be bothered peeing in a cup this month! Enjoy your weekend.
Hi Peggs - seen your other thread - great news x
Enjayee - thanks for updating us. At least now you partly know why it's taking you so long and you have the referral if needed. I hope you find out more and get a solid plan in place on Tuesday. I don't think anyone would think you were being ridiculous earlier - you're going to be feeling a whole heap of emotions. I'm glad you feel more positive now though. xx
14/11/2014 at 12:04
Enjayee - You do not sound ridiculous at all and that is what we are here for anway. I'm sorry your h's results are not good but at least you do know now and the fact that there is a problem you are more likely to have a plan in place very soon. I hope your hsg goes well and sending you some hugs xx
Peggs - About to look at your thread sounds good! xx
I'm also playing catch up with masterchef Enjayee, got last nights one to watch tonight! Also like the apprentice, H is bored of it but I still really like it!
14/11/2014 at 15:24
Enjayee, I'm sorry your H's results weren't good, but like the others have said you have a reason now and can make a plan to move forward. Have the Drs suggested repeating your H's SA, in the UK that's what they made us do as they can vary wildly from month to month depending on stress, health, alcohol consumption etc. Also all is not lost for a natural conception. My H's sperm count has been low at both of the tests we did. They consider anything above 20 million per ml to be ok, at our first test he only have 2 million and at the second test only 10 million.
The fertility consultant said that it can happen with these counts it was just likely to take much longer for us. We were told we'd be put into the unexplained camp unless we had zero sperm. If you are in the unexplained camp in our area you have to be actively trying for 3 years before they'll refer you for IVF, so like the others said this is probably what happened to your friend.
When I was told that H had a low count I went through all sorts of emotions. I had to be strong in front of him because I didn't want to upset him, but had a good cry in private, and in front of friends. I also felt uncomfortable discussing it with people in real life because it is such a personal thing about him. I never told my Mum about it and I usually tell her everything.
You don't sound ridiculous at all, I'd actually resigned myself to the fact I was ticking off those 3 years to IVF. I thought I was an idiot for bothering to take a pregnancy test! But as our ladies here have shown IVF can be very successful.
Look after yourself lovely xxx
Lulu - I'm sorry the Hycosys wasn't completely conclusive, but I'm so pleased you are feeling more positive. I think I would go for the lap, but I always want to know everything as soon as I can. Just do what makes you happiest. Lots of love xxxx
14/11/2014 at 15:38
Thanks ladies :-)
Dolly - he's done two tests now, we compared both papers and the numbers are pretty much the same. I'll be able to understand it more on Tuesday. Like I posted in the DTC thread the doctor apparently mentioned something else other than IVF and I thought it was IUI but H isn't sure if that was it, it might have been ICSI. So many abbreviations! But I'll keep you posted on Tuesday. I don't know what the standard is in Denmark in terms of waiting if it's unexplained but I don't think it's as long as three years. However I'm just guessing. The fact that the lab wrote that we should may consider IVF makes me think that we won't be placed in unexplained. Which is a good thing I think - it means there is something there that can possibly be fixed. Can I ask how your husband was after his results came back? It's just that mine is carrying on absolutely normal when I almost want him to admit that he's feeling some sort of emotion about it. At the moment it's almost like "oh well my results are crap but at least there are things we can do" - and even though that's right, it's not him who will have to go through everything. I am a little ashamed that I was a little quiet with him last night as I was a bit upset but I had a little cry in private and then when he asked me what was wrong I told him that I was feeling daunted and disappointed that it probably won't happen naturally. I also told him that I was not at all mad at him and I gave him lots of hugs too. I just wish he had more emotions about it, I'm sick of carrying it for the two of us.
14/11/2014 at 15:53
My husband didn't really show much emotion about it either. When we came out of the Drs I asked him if he was ok and how he felt and he said he was fine. He said that he didn't see the point in getting upset as there was nothing that he could do about it, and we'd just have to do what the Drs say. He did become more interested in taking vitamins and being healthier which may explain the increase of the second test. He had decided that as of this month he was going to give up alcohol completely, but he never got round to it. He never got emotional about it though, he did mention a couple of times he was sad he couldn't give me what I wanted but that was all. They do seem to be able to be more matter of fact about it all. ICSI was what they said we'd have to have as the sperm get injected straight into the egg rather than just going into the dish together. It's the same process for you though.
14/11/2014 at 16:53
I think that I'm a little cross with him because he doesn't even seem to be trying to make an effort. He started with multivitamins a while ago but stopped. No interest in really trying to cut down alcohol, although he doesn't drink heavily to be fair ... I asked him if he asked the doctor if there was anything he could take to improve quality but he said that he didn't ask as "the doctor would have made recommendations". So I'm going to ask the fertility doctor on Tuesday. My H hasn't mentioned anything remotely along the lines of he's sad - of course I don't want him to feel bad but just to kind of acknowledge something would be, well, something!
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