Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
02/04/2016 at 13:25
I lost my beautiful baby boy Harley at 31+4 in February this year. I've been given the green light to try to conceive again. I am scared yet excited about starting this journey all over again to give Harley a little brother or sister.
I would love to share this journey with others who have experienced a loss and are trying for their beautiful rainbow baby.
02/04/2016 at 18:44
Hi Natalie, I posted in the other thread before I saw this one.
We have decided to ttc our rainbow too.
We had our little ones funeral Thursday and it was really helpful to hubby and I to clarify that we won't be happy until we hold a living baby in our arms😢
Fingers crossed it happens for both of both of us soon.
I'm equal parts desperate and terrified of falling pregnant again.
It will be good to go through this with someone else in a similar position.
02/04/2016 at 19:33
Oh that's wonderful to hear that you are going to ttc your rainbow too.
The funeral is so difficult harleys was on the 22nd March. I know exactly what you mean though it definitely confirmed we need to ttc again and hopefully have a bring home baby next time.
I really hope it happens for us really soon too. Did it take you a while to conceive Huw or did you fall quite quickly? I fell really quickly with harley and I'm worried now that because I want it so much it's going to take forever!
I know exactly what you mean. I'm worried about being pregnant but desperate to get a bfp too.
It will be lovely to go through this journey with you. We deserve a happy ending and fingers crossed that's what we shall get.
02/04/2016 at 22:56
I know, I worry about ttc too. I somehow fell like I've lost my chance of having a baby. But we won't know until we try :)
It took around 10 months for us and I just started to loose a bit of hope when I fell pregnant last time. I'm hoping it doesn't take that long this time around!
I'm glad that after I had Huw I kept taking my pregnancy vitamins etc so hopefully my folic acid levels are still good!
I'm coming up to 34 so I really feel the pressure to conceive soon so I don't miss the boat altogether.
I agree we definitely deserve a happy ending after everything we have been through!
I look forward to seeing some bfp photos for us on here soon!
02/04/2016 at 23:08
I hope it happens a lot quicker for you this time around. It would be lovely for us to get our bfps at a similar time too.
That's good that you continued your vitamins. I've started taking pre-natal vitamins again.
I don't think 34 is pushing things, I'm 25 but I understand your concerns.
That would be so fantastic! Xx
03/04/2016 at 09:46
I'm not sure that I would have been strong enough to go through this at 25. I wasn't even mature enough to have a baby back then. So I really admire you!
My husband is very excited about trying again...no surprises there!
I ended up using opk's last time and finally got pregnant within 2 months of starting them. I'm in 2 minds about using them again.
I so want to be pregnant again but at same time I'm still emotionally fragile so I feel like if I do try really hard and do opk's etc and I don't get pregnant then I will be pretty upset.
It's such a strange feeling to be so torn about the whole thing. I really am struggling with it all.
03/04/2016 at 10:55
Aw thank you.
The men do have the best end off ttc and pregnancy and birth.
I used opks the month I got caught. I know what you mean I too feel if I do all that and it doesn't happen I'll be devastated. I think this month I'm just aiming to dtd every other day and hope nature takes its course. If not then I may consider opks. That way I'm easing myself in gently.
It's an awful position to be in and nobody can tell you what the right thing to do is. I just look at it that I don't feel I'll be anymore emotionally ready if I wait 6 months or more. The next pregnancy is still going to be a rollercoaster.
Be gentle on yourself xx
03/04/2016 at 22:08
Yes I've been given so much advice.
The only person I've really listened to on the subject is my mother in law. My in laws lost their first child, who was stillborn. She went on to have 2 healthy children afterwards (one being my husband ).
She said that the biggest healer is having another child, so I think I'm going to take her advice and just go for it.
I've looked at my box of clear blue opk's and some go out of date this month and the rest in June, so I'm just going to start ung them. The instructions say to wait 2 cycles before you star so you know your cycle length, but since they are going to expire this month I may as well use them.
I don't know about the husbands getting the best deal, my hubby is so worried as well. He has told me he doesn't want me going back to the same hospital where we had Huw due to the poor care received that we feel contributed to his death. Luckily we live in London so we do have a choice.
Hubby is pretty desperate for a bub too, especially as he is turning 40 this year so he wants a family more than anything.
I agree the next pregnancy is going to be a roller coaster and the coming months ttc
We will just have to hang in there and try and support each other!
03/04/2016 at 22:52
I can understand you listening to your mil particularly as she has experienced it and gone on to have healthy children afterwards. I am pleased that she says having another child is a healer as I really hope it is.
Yeah you may as well start using them there is no point letting them go out of date and it may help give you an insight into what is happening for you.
I know my OH will certainly worry when I announce I'm pregnant again he has already told me he may be emotional when I do. I can completely understand you not wishing to return to that hospital particularly due to their negligent behaviour. Unforgiveable isn't a strong enough word to describe the situation with that hospital. You deserve and need the best care in your next pregnancy. Being able to attend a different hospital may also help to remain positive as it will be so different? I am pleased you are able to be under the care of a different hospital though.
I hope the ttc journey is kind to both of us and we get our bfp's sooner rather than later. We certainly can support each other through it. The thought of a rainbow baby makes me hold onto hope. Let me know how you get on with the opks. I have downloaded fertility friend on my phone I've not used it before but I've heard good things about it and it is good to input data on there so liking it so far.
04/04/2016 at 08:30
Hey guys I'm pretty similar to you both, I'm 24 it took me 4 months to conceive with my little girl who I lost in March at 21 weeks due to an infection making me go into early labour nothing wrong with her at all.
Me and my partner are both scared of trying again but have said we aren't "trying" as we don't want to add pressure but we aren't using any contriseption either.
its nice to see I'm not the only one and I was so worried about wanting another so soon too, like people will judge me thinking I'm trying to replace my little girl.
i wish you both luck on this tough journey
04/04/2016 at 11:31
Sorry to hear you are going through this too.
Was your baby your first? Did you name her?
I've realised through this whole thing that I really don't really care what anyone else thinks. I think you have to go with your gut instinct regarding if you are ready for another baby or not.
The advice that I have had is that nothing will replace your lost child. It will just help you heal when you give them a brother or sister.
I once had a dream of having 3 children, now I'll just be happy having one. It's funny how these things show you what is really important in life!
Stay strong! X
04/04/2016 at 12:39
I typed a long message and my phone deleted it!.
Sorry you have to join us and for the loss of your precious little girl.
I can understand your approach, it does add pressure when you say you are actively ttc. Although I am actively trying.
I too worried about being judged for trying so soon but then realised nobody has the right to judge me as if they do they don't understand what I'm going through. Like Phillisdsa says it's best to not care what others think only you can know when you are ready. We all know that we aren't trying to replace our angels and we wouldn't even if we could. We simply want a sibling for them. Our babies were very much wanted and that want doesn't go away.
Please keep us updated on your journey. It helps to have support of others.
06/04/2016 at 08:45
yes it was my first and unplanned but she made me and my partner realise we are more ready then we thought, I know I can never replace her and I wouldn't want to but I do feel it is right for us to start our family.
we did name her, the whole experience though has scared both of us due to the lack of care I received making it alot worse then a horrible experience had to be.
thankyou both for your kind words :) I hope you both get the families you deserve :)
06/04/2016 at 08:56
I too received poor care at my hospital during my labour, which I strongly feel contributed to the death of my little boy. It's really hard I know.
I've even had to go to counselling to try and process what happened. It has helped a lot and I'm not having as many nightmares etc.
I've also joined my local Sands group and I'm going to my first meeting next week with my partner, so that hopefully will help too.
Sands has been really fantastic support if you have a group in your area.
Do you have a choice of going to another hospital for your care next time?
I'm definitely changing hospitals next time, but I'm in London so I'm lucky to have an option.
Hang in there, I'm being positive and I know everything will sort itself out eventually!
06/04/2016 at 09:15
Yeah lucky for me my mother in law works at a doctors and is close friends with a midwife who's going to take extra care of me next this time and change my hospital, I wish he was my midwife from the start! I text my midwife the day I went into labour and I've still heard nothing from her!!
ive heard a lot about the sands groups! They look really good.
06/04/2016 at 10:49
If you feel it's the right time to start a family that's all that matters. You are already a mummy just not in the way you pictured it.
I'm really sorry to hear that you had such a negative experience with lack of care. It baffles me how many pregnant women experience it. But I am pleased that you know next time you are going to have a better midwife and support from the beginning. I think it's disgraceful that your midwife didn't even respond to your message. It's also positive that you can change hospital.
Phillisdsa,I'm pleased to hear you are not experiencing as many nightmares and that counselling is helping you.
Sands is wonderful I don't attend the groups but actively speak on their forums. I found their memory boxes very comforting. I hope your first meeting goes well. I've heard a lot of women felt they really helped.
I can't wait for us to have our beautiful rainbows xxx
06/04/2016 at 11:08
hi...posted in another group wen i came across this group n very very glad s i jst lost my beautiful boy 5 mnths ago..m ttc s wel n waiting for next normal AF after provera to take clomid...very hopeful...
06/04/2016 at 12:14
Sorry for the loss of your little boy, did you name him?
Hope AF comes soon for you so you can take clomid.
I think we are need to remain positive. We have all managed to conceive just sadly didn't get to bring our little ones home. We can conceive again and hopefully soon xx
06/04/2016 at 16:56
How long did it take for your first period to return??
06/04/2016 at 17:20
Sorry to hear about your loss.
Hopefully the medications are successful for you.
Wantingapossitive - AF returned for me 7 weeks after I gave birth.
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