Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
30/03/2015 at 07:28
Thought I'd make this a weekly one seeing as it's been pretty quiet recently and that it's a short week - we get the Thursday off for Easter as well as the Friday and Monday here which is brilliant :-)
Weekend was good. Painted a door white - against the yellow walls it really pops. Need to get more paint so I can do two more doors. Went to Copenhagen Street Food on Saturday, which is like a hipster food court in a former warehouse. I don't really subscribe to the hipster vibe but the setup is really cool with a few stalls being set up in retro campervans. I ate the best pulled pork sandwiches ever! Went out for a few drinks in the evening too which was good but it makes me realise how much I miss having my social life in English. I feel under a lot of pressure to speak Danish and I'm fine with that as otherwise I won't learn, but I'm a completely different person. I'm not as quick and I can't express myself properly at all. But never mind. Yesterday we stayed on the sofa and watched Netflix, did not have the energy to do anything else.
TTC wise I can't remember what day I'm on but I had my scan today, the first one since upping the meds, and I still only have the one follicle. I was hoping that two would have grown in order to up the odds but no. I'm a little bummed out about it to be honest, especially since we're flying to the UK on Wednesday evening meaning that we're out of the country for the optimum insemination time. I'm taking the egg releasing shot tomorrow evening which means ovulation will probably happen on Thursday. So I'm getting insemination on Wednesday just before midday, and then we've been advised to DTD on the Thursday. To be honest, I don't see why this time will be any different to the others - I feel like we're just going through the necessary motions before moving onto IVF. I've been able to be relatively positive about it but this morning I just feel sad. I'm going to allow myself to feel sad but will try to do other things which will help me move onto a more positive frame of mind.
Am looking forward to the UK trip but to be honest, as I thought I'd be pregnant by then I can't help but feel down about that too. Still - had better head into work now. That's another thing I'm unhappy with too but I won't bore you with the details. I wish everything was different. Sorry - am feeling really gloomy today and the rubbish weather isn't helping!
30/03/2015 at 10:58
Hi Enjayee. I'm relatively new round these parts so I don't know your full background but I'm sorry to hear you are feeling a bit low today. I think you're right to let yourself feel sad, there is no point trying to put a brave face on it, must better to get the emotions out than hold them in.
What do you have planned in your trip back to the UK?
30/03/2015 at 12:00
Morning! Been mad busy so only got chance to come on now!
Enjayee - Glad you had a good weekend - well done on keeping up with Danish conversation - at least you're making the effort! Sorry to hear you're bummed out about the one follicle and feeling sad in general - I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better xxx
Pook - hello again - how're things with you?
AFM - AF definitely on her way but I'm fine with it - if H can be relaxed about it, so can I!
Hello to all who follow x
30/03/2015 at 12:08
Hey Tayto, things are good with me thanks, how are you? Sorry to hear AF is on here way, but good that you are feeling ok about it.
I've been so busy so haven't had so much time to think about all things TCC but am trying to remain positive. I am going to buy a fertility monitor today and see if that helps. In other news I'm working from home today so am having a nice quiet day!
30/03/2015 at 13:12
Pook - thanks and good to see you back! Which fertility monitor are you getting? I have heard good things about ClearBlue :-) I decided to work from home tomorrow and Wednesday so I can go to a morning yoga class tomorrow! Long story short, we're going into our 19th month of TTC. Last year my husband was diagnosed with poor sperm quality, but my tests were fine. However in January his counts started to go up so we were referred for IUI, we've had two rounds which were unsuccessful so Wednesday will be our third. If that doesn't work we'll be on the waiting list for IVF but whilst we're waiting we get three more goes with IUI. So there's a lot of scans and a lot of injections! Luckily the clinic is only ten minutes away from me by bike which means I don't have to take loads of time off - now that's a positive about living in Copenhagen :-)
Tayto - sorry that AF is on her way. Hope you're doing ok. X Thanks for your kind words - I'm actually alright, just a little disappointed. To be fair the nurse did say that upping the meds wouldn't necessarily give me two follicles so there's nothing wrong, but I really wanted a higher chance.
I'm meeting a friend for lunch on the Thursday then seeing Book of Mormon in the evening. Friday we're meeting two friends we haven't seen since the wedding for lunch, then in the evening we're either meeting other friends for dinner or sorting ourselves out - bit up in the air at the moment. Then Saturday we're going to go to Borough Market! Flying back on Sunday but I wish we were staying just a little bit longer. Am terribly homesick at the moment.
30/03/2015 at 13:47
Pook - I'm alright thanks! I had the clearblue fertility monitor but, I'm an unusual case, it didn't work for me - I never got peaks but internet cheapy opks don't work for me either. Lots of ladies on here have had the CBFM and they loved it - some even saying it was the reason for their BFP. Best of luck with it. If you get it second hand, you'll just have to reset it which is easy but just make sure it has a manual to talk you through it. I do hope you won't need it though x
Enjayee - I know exactly what you mean - two eggs = double the chances. Will you have to wait long for IVF? Will that be private too?
AFM - Just back from pilates - I really do love that class & it helps that it's free with work :-)
30/03/2015 at 13:55
Enjayee - I've still got everything crossed for you this cycle. Your London plans sound great!
Pook - Hope the fertility monitor helps, I've never bothered with it I think because temping and opks tell me when ov is. Keep us posted on how you get on with it.
Tayto - Sorry you think af is on the way. Pilates sounds lovely I really wish I could do some classes like but I can't find any near work and the ones at home are after I get back stupid commute!
AFM- Well and truely fed up with work, really upset with this place but won't go into details just fed up which is making me anxious which isn't good for me :-( TTC wise no positive opk yet which is strange as I normally have it by now, had a few faint lines so wondering if I missed the surge or not ov'ing this cycle, hopefully my temps will confirm. Still no blood results and called about my refferal appointment this morning and it looks like it could be another couple of weeks yet. Sorry bit of a moan today, wouldn't feel so bad but work has really got to me today, if we weren't ttc I think I would leave (I still might actually)!!!
Hi to all who follow!
30/03/2015 at 14:06
Tayto - the first rounds of IVF will be state funded. Our private clinic works really closely with the public healthcare which is really good as I'm already in the system. If the state funded IVF doesn't work then we'll look to go private although if after six IUI and three IVFs it still hasn't worked I will be really alarmed! Denmark (well Copenhagen at least) have it really sorted in that regard, I'm so grateful there's no postcode lottery. Advantages of a small population I guess.
Lulu - I sympathise with work, I really do. I'm unhappy and fed up here as I'm being used as half project manager and half product manager, rather than a marketing manager which is what I am supposed to be! I'm trying to do the best I can with the situation as once we move onto IVF it'll mean more time out and that's not great with a new job. I would love to go back to agency side as there's more chance of professional development but it's just not viable right now. I'm so worried about the lack of development prospects here as I feel I'm losing touch with modern marketing techniques! Anyway - I'm signing up to some free seminars and conferences, and am going to write a business proposal that I should be sent to London for a search marketing conference in May. But what I would say to you is to look around anyway and get a feel for what's out there. Don't put your life on hold for it. Even though I know I probably won't leave, I'm still looking anyway, just in case :-) And then IF I fall I will deal with it then. Good luck with it though, it really really sucks! X
30/03/2015 at 17:26
Just a quick one from me - utterly frazzled adter a crappy day at work. Can I join the sad about work/TTC Club?
Hope you all feel better soon - will try and get on for personals tomorrow.
Love to all. Xx
31/03/2015 at 08:48
'Course you can join. Although I hate that there are a few of us in the club :-(
I'm feeling a bit better today but literally minutes ago I was on the verge of having a bit of a panic attack. I was writing something about May/June and I suddenly started thinking "what if I'm not pregnant by then?" and then my breathing started getting quicker. I managed to calm myself down but I still feel a bit jittery - luckily I'm working from home today so I'm going to get the yoga mat and scented candle out. Only thing is that my husband works from home permanently and our living room and dining room is all one space which doesn't make for total zen as I can always hear the tap-tap-tap of the keyboard. Maybe I'll listen to my yoga playlist on my phone. I can't tell whether it's the upped meds making me feel like this or whether it's something I would have felt anyway but whatever it is, I'm just so fed up. Am fed up with work - despite all the hard work I did on a MASSIVE campaign recently, my manager asked my colleague if SHE wanted to go to this conference in San Francisco. She told me about it and was shocked that I wasn't invited - she's not going but she said I should push for it. I can't go on those dates but it's besides the point - it would have been nice to have been asked. I'm currently writing a proposal for me to go to London for two days in May for a search marketing conference. I need to hammer home the point that I am a marketing manager and not a product nor project manager, and a marketing manager is what I want to remain! Really frustrated. I know my life could be so much worse but work and my own family are two things that I want to go right, and neither of them are. I just want to cry.
31/03/2015 at 09:02
Sally sorry you're another one in the club hugs to you.
Enjayee I know how you feel about the thinking what if it hasn't happened by a certain point, well done on calming yourself down though as that really isn't easy when you're on the verge of a meltdown. I had to do the same yesterday as I was getting on the tube, luckily I've got some books loaded on my kindle so just started reading to take my mind of everything and it actually helped along with a few deep breaths!! I hope the yoga helps and you manage to relax a bit. I feel for you on the work thing I've been over looked for something as well but nothing as big as going to san fran! I hope you get the London trip.
Not much else to report from me, I'm going to request a meeting with HR today. I'm really nervous as it's HR who have caused me the upset but I can't go on an not say anything so fingers crossed I don't end up a blubbering mess and make myself look stupid!
Hope everyone else is having a better day! xxx
31/03/2015 at 12:31
Ah, sorry to hear you've had similar recently. It's not nice. The yoga did help - managed to nail a pose (can't remember the name!) which I've been trying to get for a week! I did it for about 20 minutes, was so therapeutic. Got a class tonight as well :-) Glad that the books on your Kindle and deep breathing helped you. It's good to have a coping strategy in the back of your mind for those moments otherwise you can feel utterly useless. Best of luck with HR today, sounds like it might be a toughie but good for you for taking the power back. If you can, try to have bullet points in front of you - sounds like a cheese piece of advice but it helps to structure what you want to say, particularly if you're nervous! Hope you get the outcome you want and deserve. X
I'm working from home today and have decided to come away from the computer for a bit and map out my roadmap for the year as the computer was making me restless, logging onto infertility forums and reading stupid myths which I usually wouldn't believe! So I went to the Danish equivalent of WHSmith and bought three massive pieces of card and some markers - am gonna lie floor to do it. Am happy I've managed to make work fun, even if just temporary!
01/04/2015 at 06:42
Ok - I've had enough of me being all Negative Nancy! So I'm choosing to focus on happy things for April: London trip this weekend, second wedding anniversary, am making the best of a less than ideal work situation to work in my favour, I have lots of yoga classes coming up which makes me happy (and flexible!), and the days are getting lighter which means Copenhagen is about to get awesome - it's always best in these months!
I'm having IUI #3 today. Do I think it's going to work? No, but I have a plan re IVF, I am in control of as much stuff as I can be, and I am doing as much as I can therefore I will learn to be happy and proud of this.
01/04/2015 at 09:03
Great post Enjayee loving your positivity!! Glad you have a plan re IVF but obviously I'm going to hope you won't need it.
AFM - Blood results finally arrived last night but I have to interpret them myself unless I book to see a consultant there grrrr! I think they are ok some maybe be borderline so I'm going to try and book in with my acupuncturist who will be able to go over them for me.
Work is shocking so I applied for a job last night and got an e-mail back within half an hour! Going to speak to them today I'm not going to worry about maternity pay as treatment won't be starting for a while and if I was to fall naturally and lose any pay I won't care as I'll just be so happy and I can use my IVF fund for living on so that would be fine. I've held on here long enough so now it's time to see if there is anything else out there for me.
CD14 and I've run out of opks and my temps are still low so not sure what is going on, thinking maybe the stress has delayed ov?! Hoping for a rise tomorrow to confirm ov for today as we have dtd the last few days lol.
Hi to all who follow x
01/04/2015 at 09:44
Hey Lulu - forgot to ask you - how did this meeting go with HR? I think you have the right attitude re work and maternity pay! I'm going to see how our IVF meeting goes next week in terms of when we start - if it's not soon then I am going to start hardcore looking again. In the meantime I am going to continue to try and turn my actual job into something I can sort of enjoy!
01/04/2015 at 10:16
Morning all! sorry I didn't get on yesterday - don't know where my time went!
Well done on the PMA Enjayee! It can't be easy so well done - I'm not sure I would be as good as you are - you really are an inspiration to us all xx
Lulu - Sorry work isn't going too well - how did things go with HR? Any update on the bloods/appointments?
Sally - How's work going for you now? Any improvement? Where are you TTC wise?
AFM - Remember I said I had a letter from the choose n book place telling me they couldn't book an app for me? I rang a few times yesterday and got thoroughly fed up so sent a very strongly worded email to them which resulted in a very apologetic phone call from them advising that the appointment has been made - for April 22nd, yayyy! It's for the private fertility clinic that we were going to go to when we thought the NHS wouldn't see us! Only problem is that we're in Venice that day so I need to wait until the paperwork comes through to rebook but to say I'm delighted is an understatement. They've confirmed its for both of us which is great. H did have an app with his doc yesterday to talk about the possibility of him having low testosterone but now that the fertility app is through his Doc suggested he talk to them about it. All ok again in the tayto household.....
Sorry - that turned into an essay!
Hello to all who follow & hugs/vibes to anyone that needs them xxxx
01/04/2015 at 15:07
I didn't have my meeting with HR yesterday having it tomorrow instead but not going to get anything out of it just a chance to have a moan.
Tayto - That is great news about your appointment glad to hear things are all going well now!
Sally hope you're doing ok.
01/04/2015 at 16:54
Thanks Lulu - hope the moan does you good tomorrow xx
02/04/2015 at 08:15
Tayto - glad you've got your appointment through! That's really great news.
Lulu - hope your meeting with HR goes well today. It's good to get it out at least, and get it on record. Sorry you're having a rubbish time though.
Enjayee - your attitude sounds great - enjoy London this weekend! Fingers crossed for this months IUI, but I'm happy you've got yourself a plan in place.
AFM - 7DPO. Due on early ish next week. Doing quite well at not thinking about it, but in no means am I particularly hopeful this time round.
Work wise things are a little better - it's 2 fold, one the job isn't what I want to be doing anymore, its moved away from what I enjoy. Secondly a particular colleague is bringing the whole team down. This person is in need of some serious mental help - she collared me to "chat" about her problems on Monday and I left feeling so unbelievably drained. Thankfully our bosses boss was in, and had words with her later that she can't effectively lock people into rooms to discuss her issues. But hey ho! One more day to get through and it's the Easter break. Yay.
The Queen is in Sheffield today so there are lots of police around and closed roads, it's kind of exciting in a weird way!
Hi to all who follow. xx
02/04/2015 at 09:11
Glad things are a little better Sally and good news your boss's boss was in to step in. Fingers crossed for you ttc wise.
Enjayee - Did you have insemination yesterday? I hope all went well.
AFM - Still low temps so no ov and it's CD15 so very unusual for me, going to post another topic on it though as I have a few questions!
Hi to all who follow! xx
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