Well, I'm having a dreadful day already..... My partner and I have decided to try for a baby, well, not charting temps and using opks, but I came off the pill in August and we haven't been using protection since that date.

I told a couple of my best friends and they were really pleased for us! However, I told my sister last weekend and she was very, very unhappy about it. She spoke to me again today about it to ask me to justify our reasons for wanting to have a baby together!! So very odd - why did she want me to do that? My partner and I are 29 and 30, we have been together for 3 years and just felt the time is right. It's not as though we're both immature and taking our relationship as a joke!!!

God she's really upset me now..... I never, ever thought she would be against it!!!

Sorry all, just had to have a little rant xx :\?

What?! I'm really confused! Why has she done that! I was expecting to read down and see that you're 19 and 20 or something - not 29 and 30! Plus you've been together for 3 yrs! xx

sounds like a bit of the green eyed monster, if you are both happy to start trying its no one elses business and you dont have to justify your decision to anyone

although its hard try to ignore it, i can tell you it get worse when you are pregnant people sticking thier nose in with unwelocme comments, questions and opionions!!

good luck TTC x

I think she just never really imagined I would want a baby at this moment in time - I was always the party girl and the one who wanted to stay up partying at weekends! However, priorities change and I want to start raising a family with my fiance now. He has a well paid job, I have a decent part time job and there is no reason why we shouldn't go ahead. Plus, I have been on the pill for more than 10 years, so I am aware it may take us 2 or 3 years to conceive - by which time I will be 33 and I really don't want to leave it that late!

Thanks for listening guys!!

I think you're totally right Loving my babynbump.... it's no one else's business!! If the relationship is right, then why not just go ahead with it. Everything else will always fall into place!! xx

Does your sister have any kids? is she older than u?

maybe she is a little green eyed

My sister is terrible VERY green eyed me and her had our boys in the same year 3 months apart hers is older and she never even said congrats or anything..... never spoke bout it nothing!!!

she is still funny with my LO now but i am glad he is develpoing loads faster than her little boy LOL

walked 1st
potty trained 1st
speach is better LOL

it deos not make it any of your sisters bussness tho tell her in a nice why that she should mingd her own and as long as your both happy thats all that matters!!!

i also thought u were going to say you were 19/20 lol

I really don't know if she is jealous - she doesn't have any kids, she is 2 years younger than me. Her and her partner have been together for 9 years and own their own house, I think sometimes she resents the fact that they have such a large mortage, when we are renting.... She just says some far too outright things at times, in fact she is well known for it. It's such a shame, as we are best mates and can talk about anything. I wonder maybe if she might be jealous???

I think I'm just going to leave the subject and hopefully when I get by BFP she will be happy and over the moon!!

MJ1986 - that's awful about your sis....I can't believe any sis would carry on like that, even after the LO has been born!! Unbelieveable!! xx

Hello Lollylupin

Along with MJ1986 - is your sis older than you? Maybe she's being "protective big sis"? and not realising she's forgetting you are a big girl now? My sister is 9 years younger than me - 24 now, and I continually talk to her like she's still 4 years old. She's graduated and looking for jobs - and I keep putting my foot in it as I try to offer her my "advice". I forget that I managed perfectly well by myself at her age

I apologise on behalf of all big sisters everywhere - we cannot forget when our little sisters were small and looked up to us as the source of all knowledge.

You could turn it around and start asking her how she thinks you should run every aspect of your life? She'll soon get sick of your early morning calls to check what you should wear each day/have for breakfast etc etc lol xx

chocolateteabag

I am exactly the same! I am 9yrs older than my little sis (she is 19 now and at uni... so very able to look after herself) - and the other day i told her off for swearing!! ha ha. whoops!! xx

Hi hun, i think i have to agree with everyone else and say its nobody elses business except you and your oh!
I notice that you say your sis and her oh have been together for 9yrs and dont have any children. do you think that they may have been ttc and are having some problems??
Its just a thought!
Maybe you should sit down and have a chat with her, tell her that you felt hurt by her comments and want to know why she feels this way!
Anyway i wish you luck with ttc and hope your sis doesnt give you a hard time when it happens. xxxx

I think maybe she is jelous as you said she has a large mortage has been woth her partner for 9YEARS!! thats a long time maybe she just thought she would get to have a baby 1st!!

I am used to my sister now i just take it on the chin i am a very relaxed person where is is total oppersite dont get me wrong he can be lovely she is starting to take more interest in my DS he is now 25 months LOL

But my sis is a typical gemmi split personality LOL

i hope she is hapy for you when u get your BFP

wonder what my sis will say this time LOL

Do you think she could be trying for a baby herself? Or maybe wants one, but her partner doesn't? I'm not excusing it, but if she was and had been trying for a while maybe she just got a little upset at the thought of you beating her to it. We all know hormones do weird things to us! x

Yeah i think you've hit the nail on the head there ladies! I reckon she might be trying herself and is upset that you might fall pregnant before her now...xx

Wilma - I know her partner does not want a baby or to get married, she has always said she is fine with this. However, I know she is not deep down! Only this summer she began mentioning how broody she was feeling, the only trouble is that there is no way that her OH would try for a baby. They are 27 and 31 and don't like to be tied down - they like to travel and take long holidays, so her OH keeps trying to make her see that they won't be able to do this once they have kids.

I think you are all probably right, she probably does want a baby and unfortunately it must be a case of the green eyed monster. It's just such a shame she had to be like this about it, we're normally so tight and the bestest of buddies.... I guess it's just a touchy subject, that maybe she didn't even realise she felt so strongly about.....

Haha - MJ1986.... I'm a gemini too!! xx

It sounds to me like you both need a big hug and chat over a glass of wine!! If you are close, it would be a shame to let this come between you - you never know, you could each be the support the other is looking for!! We all have worries/concerns mixed in with the excitement of ttc so maybe you could vent to eachother!! x

OOps sorry Lollylupin - I think I wrote my last post while you were writing yours - didn't see your reply that your sis was younger.

Wilma may have it right - wine facilitated honest chat may be the key. If she does want kids - you having one and proving that it won't be the end of your & your OH's freedom will help.

My OH has only started coming round to the idea once he realised his peer group were all ttc'ing (we have some open wine fueled conversations with our friends!)
good luck

I think it sounds as though she always thought she'd be the 1st to have a baby as she's been with her partner longer. Maybe she has been trying with no luck or maybe she wants one and her patner doesn't and she's resentful of you.

I've just had an ectopic and I'm worried how i'd feel if SIL got pregnant before me (even though she has no plans!) I know this is totally selfish and completely irrational and ordinarily i'd be delighted. Although i would NEVER let her know my worries if she did fall pregnant as it is of course wonderful news.

All i'm saying is I think more is going on that she's letting on and I think it's more about her than you. Perhaps speak to her and ask her what's going on x x

Thanks girls for all your advice - it's really helped!! I think you're all right, she probably is thinking about her and her OH having babies and it's making her take a long hard look at whether and when they want kids...

Thanks guys and good luck to us all in trying for our BFPs!!! xx

Hi I completely agree with what everyones said but maybe shes also a little jealous as shes your little sister, and you having a baby may push her out of your life - especially as you mention that you're close.

Hope you sort it.xx

Just to add maybe she asked you to justify your decision (so odd!) because you're renting! Perhaps she thinks you should be married with a mortgage before ttc?
It's strange that she asked you to justify it tho! If she was jealous you'd think she'd just throw some negative things at you like 'you'll never get any sleep' or 'you'll have to give up your party lifestyle you know' if you see what I mean?

Makes you see why people don't tell anyone they're ttc doesn't it? I've told a couple of people but if I'm honest that's because of my situation (41, 2 kids 15 and 6 and a bit of a tempestuous (altho 23 years long) relationship) I don't want people thinking it was an accident!

I agree tho that you should clear the air or this will fester and maybe ruin your otherwise great relationship

not sure why renting rather than a mortgage should be a reason NOT to ttc!!! x