Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
05/06/2013 at 08:02
As you all probably know, we had our MC last July.
My OH was absolutely devastated as you would understand, and he still has his moments where he gets upset.
But he just doesn't seem to understand how i can be so desperate to be pregnant again, but in the same light be absolutely petrified of it in-case something happens like last time.
He just keeps saying that we will never know until it happens so there is no point in worrying about it now, which i suppose is true, but its normal to feel like that isn't it? Also he seems to be convinced that all will be ok next time, and i can't help but think that its all going to go wrong again.
05/06/2013 at 08:07
For us we also have the physical aspect of mc and not just the mental.
To be honest he is right in a way - try not to worry about it too much. The way I try to look at it is that whether you worry or not you won't change the outcome. Now, I know that's almost impossible as I've been there and know how it feels and I also know how I'll feel if I'm lucky enough to fall pregnant again.
I think guys are just built differently to us and deal with things in another way.
I understand you 100% and its totally normal. We're here to support you all the way lovely xx
05/06/2013 at 08:25
Its just pants isnt it Gillsy?
My OH is a very sensitive person, and has suprised me to be honest with it all, which is kinda nice to see that he can be emotional when he needs to be.
I know in a way he is right but i just wish he'd let me feel the way i feel without making me feel stupid about it
05/06/2013 at 09:23
I completely know what you mean. I was talking to H about how desperate I am to fall again and asked if he was and he said no. But its not to say he doesnt want to its just that he isnt as desperate as me to.
Your H is right though, you do need to just try and relax - I know its easier said than done...but we all do really. x
05/06/2013 at 22:14
See my h is kind of the opposite. He likes to fix problems, so his answer to the mc is to get pregnant again as quickly as physically possible. He hates that we can't do this on our own and we both still really resent the fact that we have have ended up with needing assisted conception :(
06/06/2013 at 08:15
Sending you big hugs NG - my OH was like that at the start just after we MC, but i just physically wasn't ready for it all and he got so frustrated about it. And now he has just turned the other way.
Thanks everybody - i think im just gonna have to stop worrying about things that arent even possible. There is no point in worrying about loosing a baby that we havent got yet right?
06/06/2013 at 12:00
I don't think its just men hun, if I'm honest I think its something that outsiders can empathise with, the OH can be hurting from it, but only the woman thats been there can truly understand how it feels like Gillsy said, there's the physical aspect too.
Now you know me quite well and we've had many many chats and I think I'm a VERY empathic person, and I can 'understand' that you're scared to fall preg again in case the same happens again, I can see that that's a geninely scary thing and I can think 'yes if I was in that boat I think I too would feel the same' but the overiding thought from most people would be 'well if you don't get pregnant again you won't be able to have a baby' - the sad truth in that being that even if that means (god forbid!) further MC's.
So that I would say applies to even a person as close as the OH, and its only the lady that went through it that can truly truly understand how unbearable a thought it is.
I know in the FB group someone posted a link recently for a woman who had a horrendous number of MCs, and in the end went on a progesterone trial (she doesn't know if she got the hormone or the placebo but she ended up with a baby after *I think* 19 MCs?! Unbearable a thought itsn't it, when its horrid enough that you lovely ladies have had even 1 MC, I couldn't go through it I dont think!
06/06/2013 at 13:17
I knew you'd talk some sense into me TT - thank you x
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