12/07/2013 at 20:58
I love my Mum to bits, but the one thing that really annoys me is when she feeds foods to my LOs that I would never give them, usually behind my back, or ask me if she can give them a food that is off limits, because 'its a treat' or 'its ok if Grannie is here' (usually within earshot of my eldest) then make me seem like the bad guy or give me the 'when you were younger...' speech! We stayed over last weekend and she gave my eldest a few liquorice allsorts in the morning! I was livid as I do not give her sweets! I only found out as my eldest told me, I caught her giving my youngest a chip too! I have in the past told her that I want her to respect my wishes and that i feel that she is hindering the rules I have put in place for my LO's food wise. luckily my eldest will start to say to her Grannie 'No Mummy won't allow me that' but she will over rule me and tell her that its ok! ' Sigh! I was wondering have others experienced this (most probably!) and how have you coped with this, or are planning to cope with it when your LOs are a little older.
13/07/2013 at 14:35
YES!!! I & my sister have had to talk to the 'Grandparents' of our children about what food is acceptable to give & at what time (i.e. no sweets before 10am, no snacks within 1hr before mealtimes, only 1 form of pudding (not a yogurt, choc bar & ice cream) & no snacks too close to bedtime). I think it is a 'gran' thing that because the child is not their own this time around it is ok to spoil them rotton but that then leaves us explaining why they can't have it all the time & (as you say) we end up with our children wanting to spend all their free time at 'Grandparents house' instead of with us 'wicked parents'. Fortunately most toddlers aren't too good with keeping secrets so delight in telling tales on the 'naughty grannies' (thank heaven for our little angels)
14/07/2013 at 09:48
It's very difficult as I think that being a grandparent means they get 'the best bits' of raising the grandchildren, they don't have to discipline the child, don't have to set rules and boundaries, can give the child back when he/she becomes distressed, dirty or too tired to be pleasant. I think that they like to give all the foods that they themselves were not allowed or that they didn't allow their own children (ie: You!)
Lay down some ground rules. Explain what you allow and don't and at what times. Also explain your reasoning for why you want to do things in a particular way, research has changed since they were weaning you and their other children, we no longer put cereals in bottles but I bet an older family member will still advise it. Alternatively provide your little ones with a packed lunch when they go to visit the grandparents and then check if they have eaten it all and if not why, ie: have they been given little treats.
Be firm but fair, allow the occasional treat but on your terms. Your parents/inlaws should respect this.
Let us know how you got on.
14/07/2013 at 20:17
Thanks! I tell my Mum until I'm blue in the face what foods I don't allow my LO's and the reasons why!! Maybe I should just have a chat with her on my own and tell her how its really making me feel and hopefully she will see where I'm coming from instead of making me feel like I'm this strict, neurotic, over reacting mother! lol!
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