Talkback: Jo Frost's advice if your toddler poos in his pants

My son is 2yrs 5months old. We have been potty training him now for 10 weeks. He uses the potty/toilet for making a wee (can stay dry all day) but refuses to use it for a poo. When we see him trying to make a poo in his underpants we take him to the potty and explain to him he needs to make his poo in there. But he holds it in, sometimes even for days until he has a sore tummy and eventually makes it in his underpants because he hides away when he needs to go. How can we encourage him to make a poo in the toilet/potty?

Dear Jo

Excuse me for writing here under someone's post but I just couldn't figure out how I can send a question directly to you.

I have an opposite problem to mom of the question above.
My daughter is 25 months old. At the age of 9 months old she severely constipated. It caused her a lot of pain when she tried to push and it was a total nightmare. From that moment on we have problems with her doing number two.
To make her poo in the potty I have to create the whole atmosphere when everybody is quiet and she is not distracted. Also I HAVE to give a puree of prunes, apple and pear every day. So, she will have enough fibre and the urge to go. She doesn't like that puree and it actually started to affect her eating habits in general now....
My problem is that she doesn't wanna poo poo at all. If I leave her she may not do it for days which can harden her stool again...She doesnt like doing it whether it is into a nappy or a potty unless I make her. The bizarre thing is that she does wee wee in her potty effortlessly. Its like part of her routine now. no questions asked. But when it comes to number two she resists strongly doing it.
i think she may feel pressure from my side that she has to do it. I wanna her to poo poo once a day or at least once in two days but cant wait for more than that. Because I'm scared it may harden her stool if she doesn't go for 2-3 days. I tried to make it fun, I tried to put her favorite tiger on a potty too and different other things. It seems to work a treat for that time round and then back again to where i started. I'm at my wit ends. Ran out of ideas how to make her go.
Pleeeease help me. your piece of advice would be sooo much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Kind regards
Elly

Now that I have two am so much more philosophical about all this. My first has alway had really loose bowels and I never even noticed if she pooped. So that's why I think the 'poop in the pants' event has eenn happeing so often. Whereas my 2nd is completely different and even at about 9 months she is super solid and it's really obvious when she's about to go. And my husband will not wait to go to the loo - it's like it comes over him and then it's an emergency - whereas I'm the opposite.... too much information! Basically, they'll do it how they do it and it'll all come out in the wash.... so to speak.... (washable nappy nut at NapNap....!). Good luck.

My daughter is nearly four and we have been potty training for 17 months. She was doing well with wees but no 2 not so good. sHe tries her best to hold it in and consequence to this is she has been prescribed movicol for past 6month. I had taken her out of pull ups but advise from the hospital consultant was to have loose stools daily and forget potty training altogether. I have done this and now gone backwards she hardly uses the potty for a wee she has recurrent UTI and has been admitted to hospital due to a convulsion caused by high temp due to this. We are at the hospital next week for a review but I am worried that they are just going to tell me to keep her stools loose and leave it at that. I have discussed with health visitors but get the same reply see what the consultant says. In the past have tried reward charts, sitting on the potty reading booms ect but nothing seems to work. I am getting worried as she starts full time school in September and has just gone up to big girls dance class and worried about the social side also for her. Please help :(