What NOT to say to someone who's had a miscarriage
Ever heard any of these - or the #DontSay campaign from UK charity The Miscarriage Association?
Going through a miscarriage is a truly traumatic experience - so much so, that often those around you aren't quite sure what to say to help.
Of course, most comments come from a good place - but they don't always quite hit the mark as a new campaign from The Miscarriage Association reveals.
As part of its #say #dontsay campaign, It asked people to share some of the things people had said to them after a miscarriage that really didn't make them feel any better - and also asked them to share what they would have found helpful.
And they got loads of responses, like the ones below...
More like this
Other things not to say also included:
- What do you think's wrong with you?
- At least you know you can pregnant
- Time is a healer
- Focus on your other children
- You just need to get over it
But, what should you say? Here are a few ideas:
- That must be tough for you, I'm so sorry
- I'm here for you when you want to talk
- I am angry at the universe for you
- (or a simple) I'm so sorry.
Mums on social media agreed they'd heard plenty of less than helpful comments after miscarriage.
"I had 'maybe you should be happy with just the one you have' after I had an ectopic and tube removed," said one on Facebook.
"Or 'what did you do' - got this comment from my best friend and it really hurt me," said another. (We bet ?)
And quite a few said that, if words failed, a hug would have been just the right thing for them ?
What do you think?
Have you found people struggled with what to say after you had a miscarriage? Maybe you've had a friend who's been through it and weren't sure what to say yourself?
Tell us your story on Facebook or in the comments below.
Images: Miscarriage Association on Facebook
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Authors
Tara is mum to 1 daughter, Bodhi Rae, and has worked as Content Editor and Social Media Producer at MadeForMums since 2015
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