Jo Frost says 'Don't lose the spark when you have a baby'

The problem: He doesn’t help out enough

My solution

First, I just want to say that I find dads are definitely getting better about wanting to be more involved with their little ones. But there’s the odd time when all mums feel a bit overwhelmed with a new baby and need that little extra bit of support from their partners.
So, here’s how to get it. Now’s definitely not the time to play martyr and carry on doing everything, while shooting angry looks at your other half, or to have a row about how much you’re doing. Both those courses of action just build up feelings of extreme resentment.

Do it now!

• Think very clearly about exactly what extra help you need.
 Be realistic about what he can do.
 Talk to him from the angle, “ I need you to help me with this for the sake of our baby.”
• Give him a problem he can solve, as he’ll love being able to feel useful.
• Remember that many men can feel quite big and clumsy with little babies. This could be holding him back from stepping forward to help out. A few words of reassurance from you could go a long way.
• Recognise that he might not want to step on your toes, because you’re so caught up in the baby. Think of ways to include him more and the help will come.