Jo Frost's guidance to being parenting partners

It takes time to become a mum and dad

You can’t clock in and out and it doesn’t come instantly for some. Your relationship with your child takes time to grow, so don’t try and rush things.

Sometimes there are no instant fixes as a parent

Bear in mind it will take time to find solutions to your parenting dilemmas and sometimes you need to take decisions and hope they are the right ones – better to make them, than not at all. But have the confidence to trust yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself. And when you’re wrong, just tell yourself you’re learning from your mistakes and do it differently next time.

It will get easier in the future

Do it enough and you will feel you are doing it better each day. Eventually your confidence will grow and as your confidence grows, you won’t feel so overwhelmed. What’s key is mastering a schedule for your first child that creates healthy patterns. Once you have this, everything becomes easier because you already know what to expect and you’re able to plan ahead. Always remember, when you’re changing a dirty nappy in the middle of the night – you won’t have to do it forever.

Communication between mum and dad is vital

The more things you discuss together, the better prepared you are to raise a happy, well-balanced child. What should you talk about? Anything and everything that relates to bringing up your child.

Never assume

None of us are mind-readers and making assumptions doesn’t always help. Work out in advance what you agree on and what you’ll need to compromise on with the big issues, such as discipline, schooling, etc. Make time to talk about the key issues that are pressing. If you don’t, you risk damaging your relationship and your child will suffer.

Listen to this…

I’ve just left two parents who, believe it or not, didn’t talk to each other. Money’s really tight for them and they both work really hard. Their jobs have them passing each other like ships in the night. Because of this, both were parenting on their own terms and the children were playing them off against each other. So guess what? Talking is now a priority – they give each other at least 15 minutes to go through the highs and lows of their day. Now they both feel informed.