Dealing with the baby blues

How to cope with that emotional early phase of motherhood.

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  • Dealing with the baby blues

    The early days with a new baby can be hard - but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Here are some of the common feelings which you may experience - and how to deal with them.

     

  • Dealing with the baby blues

    "I can't stop crying"

    Chartered counselling psychologist Jacqui Marson says: 'It is common to feel weepiness and a sense of sadness at the loss of the person you once were before you had your baby.

    Thinking about why you are feeling sad and talking it through with a close friend should help you work through your emotions.

    If your feelings of sadness and loss of joy are troubling you, follow your instincts and seek help from your GP and health visitor.'

  • Dealing with the baby blues

    "I haven't bonded with my baby"

    Jacqui says: 'Just as every woman falls in love differently, we all bond with our babies in our own unique way.

    Don't beat yourself up if you don't feel overwhelming love for your baby at first. Accept that it's fine to take it slowly.

    Find your own ways of enjoying your baby, whether it's bathtime or a walk in the park. 

    Talk to a firiend about your feelings - it's not an admission of failure. If you still feel things aren't right, seek help.' 

  • Dealing with the baby blues

    "Everyone else is coping - I feel a failure"

    Jacqui says: 'Finding new mums who you can be honest with is really important in helping you explode this myth of 'perfect' motherhood, and realising you are not alone.

    It's important to remember this is not a competition - no one 'wins' or 'fails'.

    If you find yourself spiralling into negative feelings, seek help.'

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  • Dealing with the baby blues

    "My partner and I constantly argue"

    Jacqui says: 'Having a baby is like throwing a hand grenade into a relationship.

    Many men feel left out in the early days, thinking they can't do anything to help and have lost that nurturing time you spent on them.

    Find half an hour a few nights a week when the baby is asleep to sit down with a drink and remember your relationship the way it was before.' 

  • Dealing with the baby blues

    "I hate my body"

    Jacqui says: 'Forget celebrities who ping back into their skinny jeans within weeks. They have personal trainers working on them night and day.

    It takes nine months to put the weight on and at least nine months for it to come off again.

    Find some exercises you enjoy doing with some like-minded friends - don't punish yourself by doing something you hate.

    Your body is amazing - it nurtured your baby for nine months! If you still can't find joy in the here and now, seek help.' 

Last updated on 20 May 2008

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