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The early signs your child might be autistic and what to do next

The early signs your child might be autistic and what to do next

From missed eye contact to sensory overwhelm, these are the signs that might mean your child is autistic — plus expert guidance on how to start the diagnosis process, navigate long waiting lists and support your child right now.

A shy girl holds a heart with puzzle pieces covering her face from embarrassment. Awareness Day about Autism

Hollie Bond

Published: August 4, 2026 at 10:48 AM

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You might have had a quiet feeling for a while — noticing your baby avoiding eye contact and seeing your toddler struggling with loud noises, or seeming more distressed at mealtimes than other little ones. Or perhaps it came as a shock when a teacher, health visitor or childminder gently suggested your child might be autistic.

Whatever your route to wondering whether your child could be neurodivergent, it can be an emotional, confusing and overwhelming moment. And with NHS waiting lists stretching from months to over a year, it’s totally normal to feel stuck in limbo or thinking it's all in your head.

But here’s the good news: you’re not powerless, and you don’t have to wait for a diagnosis to start understanding your child’s needs or getting support. We’ve spoken to experts GP Dr Philippa Kaye and speech and language therapist Nicola Lathey to bring you a practical, reassuring guide to:

The early signs your child may be autistic
How the diagnosis process works
What to do during the long wait for an assessment
The support you can access right now, without a diagnosis

The early signs your child might be autistic

illustration of a child's silhouette with different coloured ribbons coming out to represent autism spectrum

While every autistic child is different, there are common early traits parents often notice. Some appear in babyhood, others become clearer in toddlerhood or early school years. Remember: none of these signs alone means a child is autistic — but together they can build a fuller picture.

Possible early signs of autism in babies and toddlers:

Less frequent eye contact
Not consistently responding to their name
Limited pointing or gestures to share interest
Distress around certain noises, textures or environments
Strong interest in routines or repetitive play
Delayed speech, or unusual patterns of communication
Preferring to play alone
Finding pretend play tricky
Being unusually calm… or unusually reactive
Mealtimes that seem more stressful than typical

A useful first screening

Nicola Lathey, clinical director, The Owl Centre Charity recommends familiarising yourself with the AQ-10 (child version) and the PDQ-1 toddler questionnaire — helpful tools to understand whether a full diagnostic assessment might be needed.

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“Keep notes on your child’s behaviours, differences and strengths," she says. "Specific examples are incredibly useful during an autism assessment.”

You can do your own research to help prepare you for what the results of the diagnosis might be. The AQ-10 screening form for autism (child version) is a widely used screening tool to help determine whether an assessment is necessary or whether a diagnosis of autism is likely.

There are also tests online that you can take to help you get an idea of what to expect in terms of a diagnosis, including the simple 10-question Psychological Development Questionnaire for Toddlers (PDQ-1) that was devised by researchers at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School to help gauge how toddlers interact with others.

Answer "no" to most of the following questions and your child might be on the autism spectrum.

My child...

points or gestures to show interest or get attention
has unusual or variable responses to sound (seems not to hear or is
oversensitive or overreacts)
smiles or makes regular eye contact with others
responds to name when called
shows interest in children at play
enjoys doing "handshake" or "peek-a-boo"
relates to others by babbling, gesturing, talking or changing
expressions
uses 3 or more words regularly and appropriately
speaks in phrases (for example: want juice, go bye)
laughs when others laugh

Who to speak to if you’re concerned

If your gut is telling you something isn’t typical, the next step is getting professional input.

Your GP
Your health visitor (for children under 5)
Your child’s SENCO (school or nursery)

You can ask any of these for a referral for an autism assessment.

“You can be diagnosed as early as age 2, though waiting lists mean the average age is higher," says NHS GP Dr Philippa Kaye. "But you can ask for help at any stage.”

How the autism diagnosis process works

Mother playing with autistic son at a table with a colourful puzzle

"There is no one sign or symptom that is diagnostic of autism, neither is there a specific blood or other test," says Dr Philippa. "Instead, the medical team will ask lots of questions about you and your child, and give you and the school or nursery provider questionnaires to complete."

An NHS assessment usually involves:

questionnaires for you and school/nursery
a detailed developmental history
observations of how your child plays and communicates
sometimes a school visit
occasionally a physical exam

There’s no blood test or single checklist — instead, specialists build a rounded picture over several weeks.

As for waiting times you'll looking at weeks for the assessment itself, but months to over a year for the first appointment.

You can go private (usually £1,800–£3,500) — but always check the provider is HCPC-registered and that your local authority accepts private diagnoses.

Why a diagnosis matters

Autism isn't an illness so you might be wondering if seeking a diagnosis is worth it and whether there are any benefits to doing so. While your child will always be autistic regardless of whether it's officially diagnosed or not, there are many ways that having a diagnosis can help the whole family.

"Having a diagnosis can be useful in terms of being able to access help and support," says Dr Philippa.

"This might mean that you, with the help of your child's school, can get an EHCP (education, health and care plan), which may come with extra funding that follows your child until the age of 25 to give them the support that they may need in school and beyond.

"It may help you feel that your concerns are validated and help you access both medical and social support, be that from the NHS or from local charities or support groups. For many parents, it can help you feel less alone."

A diagnosis is important for:

Access to educational support (including EHCPs)
Validation of your concerns
Better understanding from teachers, family and carers
Access to certain therapies and services
Tailored strategies that help your child thrive

What is an EHCP?

An Education, Health and Care Plan provides long-term support for children up to age 25 who need more help than typical SEN provision. It can cover therapy, specialist teaching, equipment, and transport.

While you wait: the practical things you can do now

autistic boy creating a calendar of the week

Waiting can feel like the hardest part — but there’s a lot you can be doing while you wait. “The only communication individuals receive is a letter confirming they're on the waiting list — yet no support is offered on how to manage this time,” says Nicola Lathey. Here are practical steps you can help to speed up the process.

1. Start gathering evidence and paperwork

This saves huge time later, and gives professionals a richer picture.
Keep a notes log of behaviours and strengths
Collect observations from teachers or carers
Record sensory preferences
Save specific examples — not just general impressions

2. Put supportive strategies in place at home

Try visual schedules
Use quiet spaces or sensory-friendly tools
Experiment with different routines
Introduce movement breaks
Talk to school about adjustments — they don’t need a diagnosis to help

“You know your child best. Small changes can make a big difference,” says Nicola Lathey.

3. Look after yourself, too

Parents often blame themselves — but you shouldn’t. “Autism is not caused by anything you did or didn’t do. And vaccines do NOT cause autism,” says Dr Philippa Kaye.

Find trusted information (from sources like the NHS and the National Autistic Society), join online support groups, or reach out to local parent networks. None of these will require proof of diagnosis.

4. Find out which support and benefits you can access now

Research from Loughborough University shows it costs £2,650 more per year to raise an autistic child — another reason to access support early. Many services that can help you and your child do not require a diagnosis. These include:

SEN support in school
Speech and language therapy or mental health referrals
Social care needs assessment
DLA (or Child Disability Payment in Scotland) — based on need, not diagnosis

Waiting Well Hub

The Waiting Well Hub is a National Lottery-funded service that launched in 2025 to provide free emotional and practical support to families on waiting lists for autism or ADHD assessments. Check it out here: https://waitingwell.co.uk/

About our experts

Nicola Lathey is the founder and clinical director of The Owl Centre Charity, a multidisciplinary assessment and therapy service that offers autism and ADHD assessment services, as well as pre- and post-diagnostic therapy support, privately and on behalf of the NHS, and spokesperson for Waiting Well. She is a speech and language therapist, and the author of Small Talk as well as a series of children's books, underpinned by speech and language therapy principles.

Dr Philippa Kaye works as a GP in both NHS and private practice. She attended Downing College, Cambridge, then took medical studies at Guy's, King's and St Thomas's medical schools in London, training in paediatrics, gynaecology, care of the elderly, acute medicine, psychiatry and general practice. Dr Philippa has also written a number of books, on topics including child health, and diabetes in childhood and adolescence. She is a mum of three.

Authors

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Hollie BondSenior Digital Journalist

Hollie is Senior Digital Journalist at MadeForMums. She writes articles about pregnancy, parenting, child health and getting pregnant. She has written for a number of national lifestyle magazines and websites over the past 12 years including Family History Monthly, You and Your Wedding and Muddy Stilettos. She has two children aged 5 and 8 and hasn't slept since 2017!