Scientists reveal why children refuse to go for a poo, even when they really need to

From fear of pain to embarrassment at school, researchers reveal why children avoid going to the toilet.

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Published: November 6, 2026 at 11:19 AM

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If you've ever found yourself repeatedly reminding your child to go for a poo, only for them to insist they don't need to, you're certainly not alone. But new research suggests there could be more behind their reluctance than simply not wanting to stop playing.

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A study published in the International Journal of Nursing Studies has explored why children experiencing constipation put off going to the toilet, revealing that pain, embarrassment and even fear of getting into trouble can all play a part.

Researchers from Linköping University in Sweden interviewed 20 children aged between 6 and 14 who were receiving treatment for functional constipation, a common condition where children struggle to poo regularly or comfortably without an underlying identifiable disease. Their findings offer an insight into what children are really thinking and feeling when they avoid the toilet.

Why do children hold in their poo?

One of the most striking findings was how easily children could become absorbed in everyday activities, particularly playing games, to the point where they ignored or failed to notice their body's signals.

Some children admitted deliberately putting off toilet visits because they didn't want to interrupt something enjoyable. Others described becoming so focused on what they were doing that they barely registered the urge to go.

Jack, aged nine, explained:

My brain is busy and doesn't... care that I need to poop and pee and doesn't tell my body to go to the bathroom and stuff. Or maybe my brain is so loud that it doesn't hear... or see that I... that it should tell my body to go to the bathroom

Jack, aged nine, study participant

But distraction was only part of the picture. For some children, going for a poo was associated with discomfort or pain, making them reluctant to try.

Eight-year-old Mia described the sensation as feeling like needles were poking her bottom, while other children spoke about tummy aches, straining and difficulty passing stools.

This suggests that what parents might interpret as stubbornness could sometimes be a child's attempt to avoid an experience they find painful.

Some children were frightened of having accidents at school

The research also revealed how deeply embarrassing constipation and poo accidents can feel for children, particularly around their friends.

Some worried about other children noticing a smell or discovering they'd had an accident. Others described avoiding activities or trying to conceal soiled underwear.

John, aged 12, explained:

You don't want to tell if there's been a leak or if you're constipated. It's just weird to tell your friends that stuff. Then they won't want to hang out with you anymore. It would be sad if my friends ditched me

John, aged 12, study participant

Researchers found that some children avoided sports or went straight home after school rather than spending time with friends because they were worried about being found out.

For parents, it's a reminder that constipation isn't always just a physical issue. It can affect children's confidence, friendships and everyday experiences.

Why some children hide poo accidents from their parents

Perhaps one of the most important findings for parents was that some children were reluctant to admit when they'd had an accident.

While reminders from adults could sometimes be helpful, children also described finding them frustrating, particularly when they interrupted play or meant having to change clothes or wash.

Some were worried about how their parents would react.

Lily, aged nine, told researchers:

I get nervous because mom will get angry. That's why I usually keep it secret

Lily, aged nine, study participant

The findings highlight why a calm, supportive response to accidents matters, particularly for children who may already feel embarrassed or anxious.

Constipation treatment can be frightening for children, too

The children interviewed had experience of taking oral stool-softening medicines and receiving enemas as part of their treatment.

Although some recognised that enemas brought relief, others described feeling frightened, uncomfortable or upset beforehand.

Researchers identified a recurring tension between children wanting relief from constipation and feeling anxious about the treatment itself.

The study's authors emphasised the importance of listening to children's experiences and involving them in conversations about their treatment, rather than focusing solely on managing their symptoms.

What can parents do if their child keeps holding in their poo?

Although this was a small study involving children already receiving constipation treatment, its findings offer a useful reminder that avoiding the toilet isn't necessarily a matter of being naughty or deliberately difficult.

For parents, it may help to:

The NHS advises parents to seek help from their GP if they think their child is constipated, rather than waiting for the problem to resolve itself.

Ultimately, the research suggests that understanding why a child is avoiding the toilet could be just as important as encouraging them to use it. For some children, a little more reassurance, patience and understanding may make a difficult experience feel less overwhelming.

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Authors

Ruairidh PritchardDigital Growth Lead

Ruairidh is the Digital Lead on MadeForMums. He works with a team of fantastically talented content creators and subject-matter experts on MadeForMums.

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