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Expert reveals how to help your child deal with back-to-school nerves

Expert reveals how to help your child deal with back-to-school nerves

Worried about your child going back to school? An education expert shares simple ways parents can help with those first-day nerves.

Natalia Lebedinskaia/Getty

Ruairidh Pritchard

Published: August 28, 2026 at 10:21 AM

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Back-to-school nerves are incredibly common, whether your child is worried about a new teacher, seeing classmates again, keeping up with lessons or simply swapping lazy summer mornings for the school run.

In fact, a recent survey of more than 500 UK secondary school pupils found 53% feel most anxious about returning to school after a holiday. And almost a third said their anxiety affects their concentration and ability to work effectively at school.

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So, what can parents actually do to help? Lindsey Wright, physics and maths tutor at TutorsValley, says the key is getting beyond a general “I'm nervous” and working out what your child is really worried about.

1. Don't just ask if they're ready for school

Asking “Are you ready for school?” might seem like an obvious conversation starter, but Lindsey says it's unlikely to reveal much about how your child is actually feeling.

“The question I'd ask isn't ‘Are you ready for school?’ because you can quite easily get a yes or no answer and not learn very much.”

Instead, she recommends asking about the parts of school they're looking forward to, as well as those they'd rather avoid.

Ask them what they're looking forward to and what they're not looking forward to. If they're worried about something, that gives you something specific to work with rather than trying to reassure them about a problem they haven't actually mentioned.

Lindsey Wright, physics and maths tutor at TutorsValley

2. Work out what's behind the nerves

A child telling you they're nervous about school doesn't necessarily tell you what the problem is, particularly if they're struggling to put their feelings into words.

“‘I'm nervous about school’ can mean quite a few different things. They might be worried about a particular lesson, seeing certain people, getting lost, a new teacher or simply not knowing what the first day is going to look like,” Lindsey explains.

Once you've identified a specific concern, it becomes much easier to decide whether there's something practical you can do about it.

3. Don't try to solve every worry

Parents naturally want to make worries disappear, but Lindsey says you don't need to have a solution to everything your child raises.

“You don't need to have an answer for every worry they have. Sometimes the most useful thing is to work out what they can control and leave the rest until they have more information.”

If they're worried about a new teacher, for example, you can't predict exactly what that teacher will be like. Instead, you could help your child think about what they might do if they find their first lesson difficult.

4. Make the first day feel more predictable

If the whole prospect of going back feels overwhelming, breaking the day into smaller pieces can make it feel more manageable.

“If they're worried about the whole day, break it down. What happens when they arrive? Which lesson do they have first? What time do they get home?” Lindsey says.

You're not trying to convince them that there's nothing to worry about. You're making the day feel more familiar, which can make a big difference when they're imagining everything at once.

Lindsey Wright, physics and maths tutor at TutorsValley

Looking over their timetable, talking through the morning routine or agreeing what will happen after school can all give them something concrete to focus on.

5. Check in again after the first week

Don't assume the first-day debrief will tell you everything. Lindsey recommends checking in again once your child has had a few days to settle.

“The first day can be quite distracting, so you might not get a proper answer when they come home. Give it a few days and ask how things are actually going.”

It's also worth noticing changes in behaviour. Lindsey says suddenly becoming reluctant to discuss school, regularly complaining of feeling unwell before leaving or becoming unusually quiet after school could warrant another conversation rather than immediately being put down to tiredness.

6. Look beyond worries about schoolwork

If your child says they're anxious about schoolwork, don't automatically assume they're worried about having too much of it.

“A child might say they're worried about schoolwork when the real problem is that they don't understand something and don't want to be the person who puts their hand up and asks,” Lindsey explains.

Once you know what's actually bothering them, you can consider practical support, such as going over the topic together or speaking to their teacher.

Most importantly, being nervous about returning to school doesn't necessarily mean there's a bigger problem.

“Being nervous about going back doesn't automatically mean something is wrong. A lot of children will feel unsettled and then find that they're absolutely fine once they're back in the routine.”

Giving them opportunities to talk, both before school starts and once they're back, can help you spot when ordinary first-day butterflies are actually about something more specific.

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Ruairidh PritchardDigital Growth Lead

Ruairidh is the Digital Lead on MadeForMums. He works with a team of fantastically talented content creators and subject-matter experts on MadeForMums.