Sterilisation during c/section! Sorry if not appropriate xx

Tommysmum2 · Apr 2, 2008 10:59AM

I have never thought of sterilisation until today!

Basically I am 38. I have 2 boys (nearly 15 and nearly 7) and am having my 3rd son by c/section on June 10th.

I know you can only have 3 c/sections (and this is my 3rd) and I have suffered from really really bad SPD this time round so it has put me off having anymore.

Anyway, at my consultants appointment today he asked me if I wanted to be sterilised whilst they do my c/section. This hit me like a bolt from the blue as I hadnt even thought about it. My Dh was sat there saying yes yes yes because otherwise he has said he will have the snip by the end of the year because he does not want to ever see me in this pain again!

I am soooooo confused about what to do. I know I have 8 wks til I have to inform the hospital but it seems so final. In reality I wont be having anymore kids but it even takes away the "what if one day" side of things and also - would I feel less of a woman? I just wondered if anyone else on here was offered this and/or had it done.

Sorry if putting this on here has upset or offended anyone I just didnt know where else to post and thought maybe on here someone else had been offered it!

Thanks for reading,

Love Lee

highlandfea · Apr 1, 2008 4:15PM

hi lee i was not ofered it i asked for it !! i have a 10 yr old and a 6 mth old and when i discovered i was having an elective section i asked if i could have it which my consultant was pleased to do for me as i am 41 and like you i had horrendous spd this time and i just knew my child bearing days were at an end but hey do you know what it was the best decicion for me!! i actually am more relaxed and feel just as womanly as before if not more as i am more confident now as i know i cant have an unwanted/planned pregnancy so things are very relaxed in the bedroom now!!
i will say the recovery from this section (10yr old was emer section)was a bit harder but i think that was a few different factors ie being older and old scaring etc but now 6 months down the line i fine and have no problems
it is a big decision and if your not 100% for it don't do it don't feel under pressure cos they have you open anyway its something you have to feel is right for you for life. good luck babe ask me anything and i will try and answer as best i can
fea x

Tommysmum2 · Apr 1, 2008 4:30PM

Thank you sooo much for answering! I was really scared of asking this on here because I have seen how difficult some women have found it to conceive and here I am asking questions about sterilisation. I felt a bit insensitive.

In reality I suppose it would be the right thing to do. As you say I am going to be open anyway and my tubes will be there right in front of them. I just didnt know if it hindered recovery or something? Does it? Also, I suppose am getting it muddled with hysterectomy in a way with the "not feeling womanly" thing.

I suppose it would relax things in "the bedroom" At least wont be panicing like a teenager if I forgot pill or whatever! My Oh has a daughter from previous relationship so we really couldnt manage 5 kids!

Have 8 wks left til I have to tell them so I think by then it would have sunk in and I will realise it could well be the best decision.
Love Lee
xxxxx

highlandfea · Apr 1, 2008 4:47PM

i know how you feel about not knowing where to post and believe it or not it took me 3 yrs to get prg with son 2 yrs for the twins i lost and surprised myself by falling in 2 mths with Abby so i understand completely but having a high fertility can be just as much a problem so dont worry about asking these questions on this forum x
recovery was a bit slower but i was still driving the car after 3 weeks and walking with the pram to the shops in 2 weeks and with the dog (big weimerana) and pram after 5wks i had no infections or wound problems i was just very tired but i had just had 2 major ops and was breast feeding so my advice is to accept all the help you can get rest for at least an hour in the morn and aft and you will recover well oh that and doing your exercices the hospital give you as i tended to get bloating wind in my tummy and the execices help get it out!!not very glamerous i know lol
fea x

Butterfly_Bump · Apr 1, 2008 5:47PM

I don't think you are insensitive placing this issue on here, it took us 8 years to conceive my lo and now I'm expecting my second. I have been worried about having this one because it is so close to my c-section last september, this one is due just 6 days before my lo's first birthday. I approached the subject with my oh over the weekend, we had a 'what if?' conversation. I'm worried about rupturing and having the choice taken away from me but at the same time I am not sure I want to go through another pregnancy anyway. I'm 36 and I feel like my body has already been through too much-probably no where near as much as some poor souls but I want to enjoy being a mum, and a wife. It is so strange for me to be thinking about this, I haven't used contraception for more than 10 years, it has never really been on our minds. I'm probably not making any sense, once I have seen the consultant in a couple of weeks time and have a clear idea about what is going on inside me then I will know where I am.

You have 8 weeks to think things through and if you are still unsure you can still say no until you are clear in your own mind. As for feeling less womanly, my mum had a hysterectomy at the age of 35, she has never felt less of a woman. After her recovery we got our mum back and we were able to live fuller lives without worrying if mum was going to be able to join in with what we were up to - but I think that is a different issue.

Sorry for waffling. All the best, Denise xxxx

Tommysmum2 · Apr 1, 2008 9:40PM

Thanks for those!

I told my Oh earlier that I know if I weighed up the pros and cons it would be best to have it done with the section. But also because it is so final I am going to find it difficult and he told me to take my time and if I did decide against having it done, he would have the snip!

Have taken in what you have both said and it is now a serious consideration, when the consultant mentioned it my immediate reaction was no way!!

Thanks again, Love Lee xxxxxx
(hope your los are doing well by the way)

hushpuppy · Apr 2, 2008 6:02AM

My mum was 33 when she had to have a hysterectomy due to cervical and ovarian cancer and she said that she never had any depression or thoughts that she was less of a woman than before even if it did mean that she has been menopausal and on hrt since then. I know that I am 34 and also suffered from horrible spd, and had to have a section because I had a failed induction because my baby was too big to get out and I'm not sure I want to go through all that again - apparently it can be worse next time around and the spd can start earlier too and I'm not sure if I could cope with that again!! I'm going to leave it till I am 38 and if we still don't want more children then either me or my oh will be going to have our tubes sealed!
Love
Donna

leona2 · Apr 2, 2008 6:14AM

hi.
i know someone who has had 4 c sections!!
my mum had her tubes tied, although not during a c section, and she said it was the best decision with a quick recovery.
i aslo know a few people who have had the snip...apparently it increases their sex drive massively!!!!!
just make sure your 100% ok with it before you make an final decisions.
good luck hunny.
leona. xxx

Deli3 · Apr 2, 2008 10:17AM

HIYA

I had my 5th child on 26th feb. I have had all vaginal births but had placenta previa and had to have emergency section after suffering heavy bleeding.
We had decided once I knew it was a section that I would get sterilised. they tied, clipped and did everything they could to stop me having more. My recovery does seem to have been longer than people with just a sction and I still feel sore inside at 5 weeks on.... BUT I would still recommend it. It means I dont have to worry again. I dont feel any less a woman at all as I will still have periods (shame) they may get heavier but as I bf I will not know for a while.
My hubby was happy for me to do it as he too was going to get the snip! Feel a bit cheated that he got away with that as after 5 kids I thought it was his turn..ha ha ha.
good luck with your baby and only you can really decide.

D xxx

TriciaLaraKaylaOakley · Apr 2, 2008 10:34AM

I have all my 3 by section and was told that I can have more but it is not recommended. I know of one person who has had 4 sections so it is possible. I was offered it too but opted against it as like you I was unsure. I now know I dont want anymore kids and hoping that oh will go for the snip.

Tommysmum2 · Apr 2, 2008 10:59AM

Thanks for your replies!

I think I am heading more in the direction of having it done because I really am suffering from SPD and dont feel I could go through it again! Hearing various replies has really helped but yeah T,L,K&O I was sort of hoping that OH would be going through the pain this time lol!!!

I will definately put more thought into it but you have all been a lot of help - thanks!!!

Sterilisation during c/section! Sorry if not appropriate xx

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