School-run mums - which one are you?

Back to school means one thing - the return of the school-run mums! From Yummy Mummy to Slummy Mummy, we take a look at the different types of mums coming to a school gate near you...

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  • Introducing the school-run mums

    It's been six weeks, but now it's time for the school-run mums to come out of summer holiday hibernation and flock the playground in all their glory.

    Elbowing their way into the school grounds, the return of the school term means the ante must be upped with talks of extra curricular activities, developments, who's raised the brainiest child and how their darlings are excelling in their Mandarin/singing/swimming classes. Competitive parents...phew! But it isn't just us mere mortals who do it - even the celebrity mums on the school-run look like they're trying to out do each other!

    So get yourself ready for another school year of school gate politics and gossip - check out our fun round-up of the different types of school-run mums and see which one you're most like...

  • Slummy Mummy

    Regularly turning up at the school gate in her husband’s work shirt (with three buttons missing) or worse, her PJs (with unsightly, unexplained stains), the slummy mummy doesn’t bother to keep up appearances.

    Pumped up with caffeine, her idea of making the effort involves brushing her hair. She believes that motherhood cannot be defined in a self-help book (if only she could find it…).

    A dedicated mum no doubt, just don’t expect her to turn up on time. Or remember your name. And yes, that is breakfast stuck between her teeth.

    Most likely to say:

    • "Why wear shoes when my slippers are just as comfortable"
    • "Sorry what was your name again?"
  • Alpha Mummy

    The alpha mum is an educated, tech-savvy, ‘Type A’ mum with one goal: mummy excellence. She is a multi-tasker. She is kid-centric. She is hands-on and views motherhood as a job that can be mastered with diligent research.

    The leader of the mummy-pack, she is fiercely competitive and was probably the first in her friendship group to fall pregnant and raise a multi-lingual genius. This gal has read all the books and of course, been to all the classes.

    Most likely to say:

    • "I was talking to Miriam Stoppard the other day at lunch with Jo Frost"
    • "My 5-year-old excelled in French, maths, Mandarin, biology, English..."
  • Yummy Mummy

    Like the show pony of motherhood, this woman does not let being a mum delay her hair appointments or Pilate sessions. Instead she rocks up to the school gates wearing the latest ‘it’ bag, sky-scraping high heels and flicking her glossy, freshly blow-dried mane, achieved in between the school-run and lunch dates. Well, the playground is the perfect way to showcase the latest style, isn’t it?!

    However the yummy mummy's not all bad – embarking into motherhood means she has made some sacrifices, like reducing the 90mm heel on her Prada shoes to a mere 65mm.

    Most likely to say:

    • "Stretch marks? What are they? I was back to my pre-baby weight in three days,"
    • "Don't puke on mummy's new Balenciaga"
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  • Prommie

    Due to dwindling city cutbacks and the recession, the Prommie (Professional Mummy) now finds herself at home with a new job description: Mother. This lady is organised and terribly efficient after battling it out in the city fulfilling a high-profile role, applying the same criteria as she did in her job.

    The day still starts at 6:30am but you won’t find her donning a pinny and becoming all Stepford Wives on us… she is more likely to be seen wearing a pair of Hunter wellies after a power walk to the school gates (in the rain) or sitting in Starbucks (it has Wi Fi) organising the next coffee meeting.

    Unlike the Alpha mum, the Prommie finds mothering "fascinating" and is merely making up time lost through late deadlines, long lunches and missed bedtimes.

    Most likely to say:

    • "On the agenda today..." (to her 3-year-old)
    • "Please RSVP, email, fax, text, Tweet, Facebook me if you cannot make today's scheduled coffee meeting at 9am sharp. Late comers will be denied access."

Last updated on 14 June 2014