Want a child who eats everything? Here’s how to start strong from the weaning stage

“An element of ‘fussiness’ is normal” when babies are weaning, Lucy Wood, a paediatric dietitian and early years feeding specialist at The Early Years Dietitian, says.

But how do you know if your baby is behaving ‘normally,’ is a future picky eater, or if there’s something else at play? And how can you build eating habits that will allow your child to enjoy most things on their plate from day one?

We spoke to Lucy to find out what picky eating really looks like, when to worry (and when not to), and the small, powerful things you can do to help your child build a healthy, curious relationship with food from an early age.

When is it fussiness, and when do I need to be worried?

“During the weaning process, from around six months to about a year, the vast majority of children will eat most things that are put in front of them,” Lucy says. They might not eat everything on their plate every day, but this is quite normal.

“It’s a spectrum, but, for the most part, real fussiness doesn't come until a little bit later,” she says.

Indicators that ‘fussiness’ is actually an underlying issue in a child of weaning age include:

• consistently not wanting certain foods in their mouth, e.g. turning their head away from the food
• getting really distressed at mealtimes
• not taking to eating at all at a normal weaning age
• if they aren’t growing
• if they are missing out on entire food groups (e.g. they don’t eat any dairy or any vegetables)
• they only eat a few foods
• mealtimes are all consuming and get in the way of family life

Lucy says that sometimes parents can get too worried about their child’s eating habits, though.

“For some families, their child might actually be eating OK, but the parents’ perception is that it's really bad,” she says. “It’s very normal that a child’s appetite is going to go up and down, or for them not to finish what's on the plate.”

“A lot of parents expect babies to eat a lot more than they actually need to. More often than not, when a parent comes to me really worried and says, ‘My baby doesn't eat very much,’ their baby is actually eating plenty.”

“Not eating everything that’s there or rejecting some foods is normal. But a lot of parents will perceive that as fussiness, even when it isn’t,” she says.

If your child truly is picky, Lucy says “about 60% of kids will just grow out of a fussy eating stage.”

With the other 40%, their food behaviours are likely to stem from early experiences and health, rather than anything the parents did wrong at the weaning stage. But, Lucy says, while “we can’t stop all of those things form happening, what a parent does can determine whether that child moves out of it eventually or not.”

There are lots of things you can do to reduce fussiness in the future

So, the likelihood is that your baby isn’t actually displaying fussy behaviours at weaning stage. But if you want to help them avoid pickiness as they get older, and nurture a healthy relationship with food in them, Lucy has some tips.

“The weaning process is about taking it back to basics — it’s less worrying about the actual food and more about allowing a baby to learn to eat,” she says.

1. Sit together to eat

Sitting and eating with your baby can help them understand what to do.

“So often you see highchair in the middle of the room, with parents sat in front of their baby, just feeding them,” she says. But babies learn by mimicking, so Lucy recommends literally putting food into your mouth in front of them.

“If there's a dinner table, ideally use it to sit and have dinner together,” she says.

2. Give them autonomy and independence

“The second thing is to allow them autonomy and independence when eating — so allowing them to eat to their own appetite and stop when they're full,” Lucy says.

Whatever you do, don’t pressure children to eat as this will only make the situation worse, she says.

Another thing to avoid is just giving children food whenever they want it or letting them graze all day — “that’s going to worsen fussy eating,” Lucy says.

“These are the things that we as parents immediately start doing when children won’t eat,” she says. “But they just end up in a vicious cycle.”

Instead, maintain a good eating routine, and allow them some autonomy in eating at mealtimes.

Satter’s idea of a Division of Responsibility in Feeding is a good way to think about it. This rule says that “parents are responsible for what, when, and where food is given, while the child is responsible for whether to eat or how much to eat,” Lucy says.

3. Offer them a variety of foods, prepared different ways

There’s a common idea that babies should be introduced to 100 foods before they turn one, but Lucy isn’t the biggest fan of this idea.

“We should definitely be aiming for variety, but you don’t need to aim for numbers and just tick foods off,” she says. “You need to think about how you’re serving them — we need to help children to understand that that food could look different every single time they have it.”

“Cook things differently, give them in different combinations, and prepare them differently because that's going to help a baby to get used to eating a variety rather than just one type of food.”

So rather than giving your baby a carrot stick and thinking that that means they have graduated to the next vegetable, Lucy recommends preparing a carrot in different ways.

“Sometimes you might grate it, sometimes you might cut it into baton, sometimes you might slice it,” she says. “That’s going to help them be really accepting of however foods come.”

Try buying different types of foods, too, so that children don’t expect certain foods to look or taste a certain way. For example, if you usually serve Bolognese with spaghetti, try a different pasta shape, or try buying different kinds of bread or rice.

Also, “don’t rely on commercial baby foods,” she says. Shop-bought baby food is very consistent and always has the same texture, flavour, and colour, which doesn’t help to teach babies to be open to trying different foods.

4. Start the weaning process with a week or two of just green veg

The guidance is to start your baby’s weaning journey with vegetables, like broccoli, spinach, and cauliflower.

“There's quite robust evidence now to show that babies who do a week or two of just green veg with no other foods to start with eat vegetables better in toddlerhood,” Lucy says.

“Essentially this is because we are born with a desire to eat sweet things because it’s more rewarding in the brain. Breast milk and formula are sweet,” she says. “So, if we start with bitter flavours that we don't love as much, for example with a week or two of green veg right at the start of weaning, it can help babies to be more accepting of foods.”

And this means serving just those vegetables — not combining with sweeter foods or mashing with breast milk.

“Doing that doesn't teach babies how to enjoy those flavours. It might be less gratifying as a parent, but it means we're going to help them to enjoy those foods much, much better as time goes on,” Lucy says.

5. Let them get messy

“Weaning is very sensory, so allow them to get in a mess,” Lucy says.

Eating with their hands helps them get to grips with different textures, so though it might be more mess for you to cleanup, finger foods can be great for babies’ development.

Another important thing to remember is not to clean them up during a meal.

“If a baby has constantly had their face and hands wiped during eating, they often become toddlers who don't want to eat messy foods later on. They're like, if I eat that yoghurt, I get my face wiped. Therefore, I won't eat the yoghurt anymore,” she says.

“Let them get in a mess, let them explore, let them take their time, and then once it's done, clear them up,” she says.

6.You don’t need any fancy equipment or hacks

Apart from a comfortable highchair where a baby has easy access to food and they can see you eating, you don’t need any specific products or hacks to wean an unfussy child, Lucy says.

One thing that does help, though, is making sure it’s a good environment for them to eat in.

“Make sure there aren’t too many distractions — like animals in the room, the TV on, tablets, toys. All those things are going to draw a baby's attention away from food and on to everything else that's going on,” she says.

And even though it might seem counterintuitive, try not to chat to your baby too much while they’re eating.

“Babies aren't able to just go from food to talking to food to talking. If a parent is constantly getting their attention, they're not going to be engaging in their food. So, it's better to just let them get on with it.”

In short, helping a baby wean shouldn’t be complicated. Keeping things simple and regular at mealtimes, while making sure there’s lots of variety on your baby’s plate, is the best way to raise an unfussy eater.

And remember, most picky eating is temporary and can be helped with good role modelling and some patience. Your baby is learning how to eat for the first time — enjoy it before they learn the word “No”!