What I wish I’d known before weaning – real parents share the messy truth

We’ve gathered advice from real parents in our brilliant MadeForMums community who’ve been there, and come out the other side with well-adjusted eaters who don’t just ask for chicken nuggets every night. Between them, they’ve weaned multiple babies, battled broccoli resistance, discovered which suction plates stay put on the tray, and learned (the hard way) that white clothing has no place at the dinner table with a tot.

This isn’t about the pursuit of weaning perfection. It’s about passing on the brilliant, bizarre, and honest lessons they wish someone had told them before they served that very first spoonful of purée.

Instead of giving you a checklist of what should happen, these real parents tell us what actually happened. From genius mess-cleaning tips to the one thing you really don’t need to stress over, these are the 8 weaning truths every new parent deserves to know.

1. Learn the difference between choking and gagging

If you thought weaning was as simple as popping some food on a highchair tray and watching your child gum away at it, then think again. Many of the parents we spoke to were passionate about ensuring you have proper first aid training or a good understanding around choking versus gagging, especially if you’re going down the baby-led weaning route.

“100 % take a baby first aid class to know what to do in an emergency,” advises Lynsay McDonald.

“I took a first aid course to help my anxiety,” says Jenny Canavan. “They offered it free at a local education centre. Anything that makes you nervous then leave and come back to it later.”

If you don’t have time or are about to start weaning before a course is available locally then don’t worry as there are some at-home options to educate yourself:

“Joe Wicks has a good bit in his weaning book about a baby’s gag reflex and what this looks like,” says Hattie Evans. “Knowing this before you start and being aware that it can be really hard to watch is so important, so you don’t panic and end up making the situation worse.”

“Get to understand the difference between gagging and choking by looking at some YouTube videos from trusted partners (like St John’s Ambulance or the NHS),” says Kate Stevens. “It will save you a lot of panic.”

Beth Eaton agrees that clueing up on safe eating for babies helps make the whole process a lot less stressful: “The difference between choking and gagging is a must know bit of information,” she says. “I didn't get it with my first and was so glad I knew about it with my second – it made weaning with her a lot more enjoyable and a lot less anxiety-inducing for me.”

And even if you’ve been on a first aid course, in a moment of panic you might need some extra reassurance, so Emily Cwn’s advice is one you’ll want to follow: “Even if you think you are up to date on first aid the fog of zero sleep doesn’t help,” she says, “so I printed St John’s Ambulance flyers out and stuck them on the fridge just in case. Thankfully we’ve never needed them!”

Keeping calm is key: “Just be relaxed,” says Charlotte Page. “Try not to worry when they’re gagging, just when they go quiet. If you have a basic first aid, you’ll know what to do.”

And if you don’t know what to do Taylor Gillman has some helpful hints. “Gagging is different to choking, gagging is perfectly normal, choking is not!” she says. “Usually they will gag (and make noise) and push the food to the front of their mouth with their tongue to spit it out. If you suspect choking, never put your hand in the mouth to try and remove the obstruction because you could make it worse.”

“It’s normal for babies to gag on some foods,” says Jess Cassidy. “If the gagging is loud don’t intervene. If it is silent that's when they need help!”

Or as Holly Hastings puts it: “Loud and red go ahead, silent and blue you know what to do.”

2. Try to embrace the mess… or get a canine cleaning machine!

If you’ve always wanted to get a puppy now might be the time to get one. A surprising number of mums we spoke to told us that the one weaning accessory they couldn’t live without was their dog?! Why? Because it meant no crawling around on the kitchen floor after dinner picking up all the leftovers for them (and probably meant their monthly dog food bill decreased somewhat!).

“The best weaning accessory is a dog,” says Shereen Amy Wels. “I end up with zero mess on my floor because she cleans it all up for me!”

Anita Lian agrees: “There will be mess,” she says, “and if you have a dog it will put on weight!”

“Get a dog, they help with the mess,” says Elli Jacobs. “Seriously though, expect mess and embrace it. Having a healthy relationship with food is so important and this builds the foundations.”

Of course, not every family has a pooch to do the vacuuming for them and when you’ve got a baby, bringing a puppy into the mix too might not be a smart move. In that case it’s time to take a deep breath and accept that your previously clean and tidy life might be a little bit messier for the foreseeable.

“I was amazed at how messy my boys got,” says Sarah Mitchell. “I learnt quickly that it was easier to strip them down to their nappies for them to eat than having to change lots of outfits.”

“My biggest piece of advice is not to freak out about mess!” says Aarti Jagpal. “I was constantly worried about giving my baby messy food as it would cause such a mess and would sometimes take food away when he started playing about with it! But I realised that causing a mess is all part of the way they learn and experience different types of food and it doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t learning or developing their eating!”

And if you really can’t cope with too much mess how about this ingenious idea from one mess-hating mum: “Find something to cover their hair with!” says Keryn Hambling. “Disposable food covers are a perfect fit and very easy to get rid of after with no mess.”

3. Don’t compare yourself to other parents… or compare your own children

Parenting in 2025 can be overwhelming – not only do you have the usual mum guilt to deal with but every time you look at your phone or turn on the TV you’re confronted with a picture of someone perfectly parenting their child and making you feel bad for your haphazard approach!

But the images you’re seeing aren’t real and every baby is different, so comparing your baby or your weaning efforts to someone else’s is just a recipe for feeling bad. As many of our parents found:

“With my little boy I felt so much pressure from everything I saw online. It all said about baby led weaning and I saw so many mums making their own food and pouches every single day, it was making me so stressed,” says Brook Sears. “This time I won’t be comparing myself to anyone else and will just be following my baby’s lead!”

Clare Indge agrees that it’s not helpful to compare yourself to others. “Give yourself a break,” she says. “Despite what social media tells you not every mum is making gourmet concoctions for their kid.”

It’s not just other parents though – it’s also really important not to compare your own children’s weaning journeys. Every baby is different when it comes to food, and that includes siblings. In fact, a huge number of parents find that their children couldn’t be more different when it comes to how they wean and the foods they initially like.

“I couldn’t believe how different it was weaning my first vs my second child!” says Elizabeth Storton. “My first ate so well and my second was far more average in terms of quantity – it was difficult at first not to worry about it!”

“The advice I would give my past self (having gone through this four times now) is that every baby is different and to follow their cues,” says Ellen Karmios. “Two of my four wouldn’t take purée food, but the other two hated feeding themselves.”

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” says Kathleen Wilkins. “I wish I hadn't spent so many months stressing that my baby would never eat.”

4. Don’t be afraid to delay if you get off to a rocky start

The current NHS advice is to wait to wean your baby at 6 months, but that doesn’t mean every baby will suddenly wake up on their 6 month birthday feeling hungry for solids! Some babies make take a lot longer and that’s ok. Just like some babies walk at 9 months and other at 2 years, weaning happens at its own pace depending on each unique child.

“Every baby is different,” says Shannon Pettifer. “Some may be very hungry from a young age and want to eat solids a lot quicker. It may be that your baby doesn’t follow the normal age range of what is expected for them to have and that’s okay.”

Mum Amy Patel found all three of her kids were on different weaning timescales: “Try not to stress if they don't take to weaning immediately!” she says. “My first took a few weeks of us offering food before he properly started picking it up and gobbling it down. My second loved food from the word go, and my third took a week or so before she wanted to pick it up herself. They all do things at their own pace!”

And if they’re not getting much food down them for months after starting, it’s still nothing to worry about:

“Don't put pressure on it and take it at yours/your baby's own pace,” says Kate Jeffery. “Remember, babies get most of their nutrition from milk until they're one.”

And if your first attempt doesn’t work out, leave it a while and then try again.

“Just because the guidelines say from 6 months it doesn’t mean your baby will be ready bang on 6 months,” says Amy Brooks. “Make sure you know what a weaning ready baby looks like (e.g sitting up right with head control / loss of tongue thrust / being able to pick food up and bring it to their mouth).

“My son wasn’t ready at 6 months, and we definitely had a false start but started again a couple weeks later and it was perfect.”

“I was so excited to start weaning my first at 6 months and honestly, she just wasn’t ready,” says Grace Emma. “I found it so stressful, neither of us were having a nice time so, we stopped and came back to it a month or so later when she was ready and it was a whole new experience. We both loved it and it was so much more enjoyable.”

5. Find a weaning guide you love and stick with it

Many of the mums in our community described finding the right weaning guide, recipe book or app as a “lifesaver” during the weaning process, so if you can spend some time before you wean reading up on the best resources to help guide you through.

A huge number of parents swore by the Sold Starts App including Harriet Nry who said: “The Solid Starts website/app was a game changer for knowing how to prepare foods for my little one.”

Others preferred having their weaning advice in the form of a book.

“We loved the How To Wean Your Baby book by Charlotte Stirling-Reed,” says Andrea Soteriou. “I have bought/recommended this to so many mums and found its focus on vegetables great. Our 2.5y old still prefers vegetables now!”

Jenny Kermode also liked having a guide to refer to: “What Mummy Makes by Rebecca Wilson was the best thing we had,” she says. “The info at the start is great and so are the recipes.”

And many of our mums gave Joe Wicks’ Wean in 15 the thumbs up:

We loved Joe Wicks’ Wean in 15,” says Lana Frances. “We found we just had to go with the flow and not worry about the mess.”

6. Make weaning a family affair

Eventually you’re going to want your little one to sit at the dinner table and enjoy meals with the whole family, so why not get them into that habit from the off? Lots of parents said this was the one thing they’d done that they’d 100% do again as it meant they could model good eating for their baby as well as introducing them to the happy, sociable side of eating.

Sit them at the table with you and eat together,” says Melanie Baker. “Make mealtimes fun and relaxing for both parties.”

Stephanie Manning agrees with this approach and says it can help babies learn key skills: “Feed them at the same time as the rest of the family so they are trying everyone else's dinner if theirs is different,” she says. “With my first I always gave him dinner first then we ate once he was asleep. But with my second we all eat together, and he has learnt basic cutlery skills, how to drink out of a cup and how to eat certain foods like spaghetti much quicker.”

If you all eat together and you’re doing baby-led weaning you’ll find it a lot less work.

“With both of mine we went full baby led,” says Tanya Hayter. “They had the same as us for every meal. We don't offer alternative and there's minimal snacks available. We introduced strong flavours early too. Both of mine are now amazing eaters. I genuinely don't think there's anything they don't eat.”

7. Don’t put any pressure on your baby to eat a certain amount

The guidance from all nutritionists, doctors and health visitors, that you’ll hear time and time again, is that “food until one is for fun”.

Babies will still have all their nutritional needs met by their milk feeds from 6 – 12 months and starting solids at around 6 months is simply to introduce them to it and get them used to different textures and flavours for when food is their main source of energy and nutrients at around one.

With the benefit of hindsight, many of the mums in our community wonder why on earth they felt so stressed about the quantity of food their babies were taking in.

“As you start this delightful journey, keep in mind: it’s not about the quantity of kale or sweet potato that ends up in their tummy initially,” says Izzah Platon. “What truly matters is introducing them to a realm of culinary exploration, nurturing a passion for discovery, and creating a mealtime atmosphere that is joyful and pressure-free for both of you. Take a moment to relax, observe their exploration, and treasure these messy yet thrilling first bites. Your little one is right on track with what they need to do.”

Jemma Cook is looking forward to her second round of weaning after realising there’s no need to stress about quantities. “The first few months are all about experimenting and getting your baby used to food,” she says. “I got so stressed first time round that I was doing it wrong, that my baby wasn’t getting enough food. This time we will enjoy weaning and finding out what does/doesn’t work for us.”

And it pays to remember that the food you serve is just for fun so you shouldn’t be expecting your baby to eat certain size meals. In fact, forcing a baby to eat when they’re not hungry is a sure-fire way to make them anxious around food.

“An eye opener for me was definitely portion sizes,” says Mehack Zareen. “We forget that babies still only have tiny tummies, so I used to get so disheartened when half the portion I had prepared remained.”

It’s not healthy for either you or your baby to be getting upset about whether they’re eating “enough”.

“Be kind to yourself,” says Jannifer Batliwalla. “I spent so much time worrying my son hadn't eaten enough or the right food sort of food. They're stronger than we think and they'll let us know if they're hungry.”

“Worry less about intake and don't compare your weaning journey to someone else's,” agrees Tanya Costley-White. “Both of my kids only started eating properly at 12 months despite being 90th centile. The second time around I knew not to worry so much – there's so much learning at the beginning! Don't sweat it.”

You might not believe it now but even the pickiest and slowest weaners might have a surprise in store for you once they head off into the big wide world:

“Don’t stress if baby doesn’t take to it,” says Stephanie Graham. “Just wait until you hear all the things they eat at nursery that they would never touch at home!”

8. Try to see the funny side of weaning

Amid all the mealtime madness, take a moment to enjoy it. Weaning is a very short-lived phase and goes by in a flash. And weirdly you might end up missing what can be a magical time with your baby.

“Take lots of pictures and videos of their reactions to foods,” says Jenny Canavan. “It’s lots of fun.”

“Have your camera ready,” agrees Natalie Davis, “because some of the reactions are pure gold.”

And focus on the bigger picture when your little baby can join you over a meal:

“It’s actually really fun to go out for lunch together once they’re eating, even if they do make a mess,” says Nicole Rigden Hamid. “Just remember to bring the wet wipes!”