Amanda Holden has opened up about losing her son, Theo, when she was seven months into her pregnancy.
The 42-year-old is mum to seven-year-old daughter Lexi and 18-month-old daughter Hollie Rose.
Amanda and husband Chris Hughes’ child died in February 2011. Speaking to Good Housekeeping magazine, she said: “To know that your baby might not come out alive is incomprehensible. Hopefully someone will read this and take a bit of hope from it because there was a happy ending for me. A lot of women don’t have that – I was very lucky.
“We called our son Theo. He was nearly 3lbs, which is bigger than some babies in the prem ward.
“Chris and I were very private and we grieved at night. We went to bed and we talked and talked. Chris never cried. I did all the crying.
“It is a cliché, but writing about it in my book did exorcise a lot of things for me. I only very recently felt like I needed to see a therapist. I saw somebody five or six times just to have a chat.”
Theo was born one month before her 40th birthday. “I said we needed to do something for my birthday so I decided to do a tracksuit party with the girls where everyone had to come in tracksuits and no make-up,” she recalled.
“Chris was incredible. We ordered a curry and he and his best friend, the racing car driver David Coulthard, were our waiters.
“They did full silver service and made us margaritas and mojitos.”
Amanda went through another frightening experience a year later, when her daughter Hollie was born. She was in a critical condition following the birth after losing a lot of blood. Baby Hollie was healthy, but was put in special care while Amanda recovered.
She told Good Housekeeping how impressed she was with the NHS. “When a nurse brushed my hair, I started crying – it was the most tender, loving thing after being bashed around so much,” Amanda told the magazine. “That’s why I am so pro the NHS. The people in intensive care who looked after me were incredible.”
“That’s why I am so pro the NHS. The people in intensive care who looked after me were incredible.”
After two traumatic births, she wouldn’t rule out another baby. “Probably,” she said, “but only if I knew for sure there would be a successful outcome.
“I know everyone loves their children, but Hollie is the most loving thing. I tell everyone to have a baby. Forget your career – you can do it all at the same time.”