Last August, Marina Fogle was 33-weeks pregnant when she lost her third child. Her TV presenter husband Ben, could only watch as Marina almost died after suffering an acute placental abruption.
“Without warning, my placenta had become detached from my uterus, starving the baby of oxygen and causing a life-threatening haemorrhage that left me within 20 minutes of death,” she writes in the Telegraph, as she opens up about her stillbirth for the first time.
The mum-of-2 describes her “profound sadness” following the stillbirth as a “fog of grief” and hopes that speaking out will benefit other women. “Grief is like the weather; how it affects you changes constantly,” she says. “At times you might feel fine, bright and cheery, and the next, for no reason, you’re teary, tender and vulnerable.”
Marina says crying is crucial as it’s a “natural release”. But she also says you should taken time to spoil yourself with a holiday or ice-cream for breakfast as “lots of little boosts will help you feel more human”.
She revealed that she’s been open about her grief with her children Iona, 3, and Ludo, 5. “It wasn’t until I sat down with Ludo, my five-year-old son, that I realised he had been so worried about me,” she said. “I told him that I was safe and nothing was going to happen to me and it was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.”
She also recommends making a memory box full of reminders. “Parents whose child has died are usually encouraged to spend time with them,” she said. “It wasn’t something I was keen to do but my sister, a doctor, insisted that parents who don’t, often regret it. So Ben and I did spend some time with our little boy, we named him Willem and we took photos. It wasn’t easy but I’m so grateful that even though I never saw him open his eyes or smile, at least I held him and told him how much he was loved.”