Woman stunned to receive letter from another mum shaming her for sending her child to nursery

"I do notice your baby is very distressed and disturbed coming/going to the nursery. Being a mum myself, I can tell you for the first 4 years a baby only wants its mother."

nursery-shaming-letter-from-mum_188821

A mum from North London has shared a letter put through her door on a local parenting Facebook page – and here at MFM our jaws just dropped when we read it 😲

Advertisement

The woman who typed up the (pretty extensive) letter comments on how she’s seen the recipient, Jo Flynn, dropping her baby off at nursery in the mornings, and has noticed the child looks “very distressed and disturbed”.

She goes on to comment on how a child only wants its mum for the first 4 years of its life, should only be in nursery 3 hours a day at most, and even cites studies warning of the harm nursery care can do.

What else did the letter say?

“I do notice your baby is very distressed and disturbed coming/going to the nursery.

“Being a mum myself, I can tell you for the first 4 years a baby only wants its mother and it is far too young for them to interact with other children or strangers.

“It upsets me seeing your baby crying, you are always rushng to put it in the nursery. You are not thinking about your baby who doesn’t want to be there, and it is far too early for your baby to wake up.

“The hours you have your baby in are just far too long and this is so disturbing for a baby as they only want their mum.

“You have missed so much I can tell you that, your baby has, you can never get these years back, and someone else has had those years.

“I did not go back to work until my kids were five and then it was only part time.

“Now my kids are 14, I work full time as my mother is there for them after school and I have only ever had my mother look after my children apart from them being in a play group two hours a day when they were three and a half.

“There is no point in having kids for someone else to bring him or her up.”

The reaction

Parents from the community called the letter ‘smug’ and ‘judgemental’ – and we have to say, here at MFM HQ, we refuse to commend it in any way whatsoever.

In fact, we can’t quite believe that anyone would ever send something like this.

And as far as the writer’s quoted study saying nursery’s bad for children – there are plenty of others that say it’s better for them than staying at home with mum.

A couple of mums in the team, who took their kids to nursery from a young age (as so many of us HAVE to, in order to, you know, pay the bills and buy food and stuff), were pretty mixed in how they’d feel about a note like this through their door.

One said she’d laugh and rip it up without a second thought, but another said she’d feel absolutely dreadful and admitted it would probably make her cry.

What do you think?

Were you ever made to feel bad about sending your child to nursery? Perhaps you agree with the letter-writer – though, was she write to make her points in this way?

Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook

Image: Facebook/Jo Flynn

Read more:

Advertisement

Comments ()

Please read our Chat guidelines.